1. Relationships
Feldman 12-3/13-1/13-3 .

2. FORMING RELATIONSHIPS: Factors in Attraction
Similarity Proximity & Familiarity Physical Attractiveness (Personality Traits)

3. Similarity
Similarity is when someone else’s attitudes and behavior are similar to ours.
It provides:
Consensual validation – support for our own attitudes and behavior
Comfort – lack of conflict and a feeling of shared understanding between the individuals
the people we like most are usually similar to us.

4. Familiarity and Similarity
Familiarity is necessary for a close relationship to develop
Moreland and Beach (1992) found students said they liked women who attended class more often, even though the targets didn’t interact with anyone
Familiarity happens with repeated exposure. The “mere exposure effect” says that the more we are exposed to a person or object, the more positive our feelings about it become.
Proximity or geographical nearness leads to repeated opportunities for exposure and allows familiarity to develop.

5. Physical Attractiveness
In the process of selecting new people to get to know, we tend to judge them to some extent by their physical attractiveness.
Some qualities, such as good grooming, may indicate desirable personality traits.

6. Physical Attractiveness
Men may be more affected by physical attractiveness than are women.
Heterosexual men rate as important in women:
good looks
cooking skills
frugality
And women know and respond to this:
Buss (1988) found that women use tactics that alter their appearance (wear make-up, keep well-groomed, wear stylish clothes, wear jewelry).

7. Physical Attractiveness
And women have different criteria.
When seeking an intimate partner, heterosexual women rate as important in men:
Considerateness
Honesty
Dependability
Kindness
Understanding
Buss (1988) found that men use tactics that involve resource possession and display (brag about cars and money, display strength) to impress women.

8. Physical Attractiveness
The Matching Hypotheses says that although most people would like to go out with 10’s, when it comes down to it, most of us select people whom we believe match our own level of attractiveness.

9. Personality Traits
Anderson (1968) found we are attracted to people with personality traits such as being:
sincere
honest
understanding
loyal
truthful
trustworthy
intelligent
dependable

10. Social Network – Social Support
Aging and the Social World
Social Network – Social Support
Social Convoy model of social relations — go through life embedded in personal network of individuals that give social support
Helps those of all ages cope
Improves mental and physical health
Linked to reduced symptoms of disease
Linked to longevity
Emotionally positive contact lowers depression
The composition (people) of the convoy changes, but it does not go away.

11. Six Functions of Friendship
Companionship
Stimulation
Physical support
Ego support
Social comparison
Intimacy/affection
intimacy in friendship — self-disclosure and sharing of private thoughts

12. Strategies for Making Friends
Friendship
Strategies for Making Friends
Appropriate
Initiate interaction
Be nice
Behave prosocially
Show respect
Give social support
Inappropriate
Be psychologically aggressive
Present oneself negatively
Behave antisocially

13. Social or Relationship Skills
Probably start in the home, perhaps as early as infancy.
Develop as a person grows.
In pre-school years are developed through play.

14. Childhood Functions of play Health Affiliation with peers
Play and Leisure
Childhood
Functions of play
Health
Affiliation with peers
Cognitive development
Exploration
Tension release, master anxiety and conflicts
Play therapy

15. Developmental Changes
Peer Relations in Childhood and Adolescence
Developmental Changes
Early Childhood
Frequency of peer interaction increases
Middle/Late Childhood
Children spend increasing time in peer interaction
Average time spent
10% of time spent with peers at age 2
20% of time spent with peers at age 4
40% of time spent with peers during ages 7-11

16. Friendship during Adolescence
Need for intimacy intensifies
Quality of friendship more strongly linked to feelings of well-being
Important sources of support
Friends are active partners in building a sense of identity

17. Friendship during Adolescence
Friendships in adolescence and adulthood tend to be intimate relationships involving trust, acceptance, liking and mutual understanding.
The benefits include:
reducing loneliness
being a source of self-esteem
providing emotional support
providing information and social comparison
fulfilling the need to be accepted or to belong

18. Gender and Friendship
In childhood, boys and girls remain voluntarily gender segregated. Boys play with boys and girls with girls.
Boys’ play tends to involve rough-and-tumble activity, larger play groups, and the tendency to establish a hierarchy of who has the most status.
Girls play involves smaller groups, equal status, and social scenarios involving negotiation and compromise (and often some drama).

19. Gender and Friendship In friendships between women, women
have close friends
are likely to listen and be sympathetic
share their thoughts and feelings
use rapport talk
In friendships between men, men are more likely to engage in activities, show competition and use report talk.
In friendships between women and men, problems can arise because of different expectations of romantic involvement.

20. And sometimes we are temporarily without friends.
Loneliness can occur with life transitions, such as:
moving
divorce
death of friend or family member
first year of college
At the beginning of college life, 75%
said they felt lonely at least part
of the time

21. Friendship in Late Adulthood
Important role; tend to narrow social network
Choose close friends over new friends
Friends replace distant family
Gender differences
Women: more depressed without a best friend; no change in desire for friends
Men: decreased desire for new and close friends in older adulthood