1. Preparing for Parenthood
HPW3C
Lesson 4

2. Being Prepared for Parenthood affects the lives of Parents and Children in the long term.

3. Importance of Being Prepared for Parenthood
The success of any endeavor depends upon the careful planning that goes into it.
Parenthood is a very significant responsibility that requires preparation for success. Because success, in this case, is measured in the effects it has on the lives of children, planning is essential.
A parent is really one who cares for and takes responsibility for the needs of a child.
Parenthood involves the complex job of raising children even before they are born.
Parenting requires nurturing, teaching, guiding, long term commitment, knowledge, patience, understanding, a sense of humour, and a great deal of time, money, and energy.

4. Importance of Being Prepared for Parenthood
When parents are not prepared for parenthood, it can seriously affect the lives and development of their children as well as their own lives.
Plans may need to be put on hold and may or may not be achieved.
Education, travel and career plans may be postponed or changed.

5. Key Question Do you wish to be a parent at some time?
Are you presently employed?
Do you want to work for a period of time before starting a family?
Would you leave your present position (job or education) if you decided to start a family? Explain your response.
What career goals do you want to achieve before you have children?
Where do you want to live when you have a family?
Do you feel responsible enough to be a parent now?
I shall be ready to parent when…

6. Planning involved in parenting
Physical, emotional and financial change

7. Step 1 – Choosing to parent
Do you want children?
When do you want children?
Have you looked at factors influencing this decision?

8. Step 1 – Choosing to Parent
Wrong Reasons:
To prove adulthood
To please someone else
For emotional benefits
For respect and status
To escape a situation
Because society expects it
To improve a floundering relationship
To be like everyone else
Right reasons:
Because you have thought about it and have decided you are ready emotionally, financially and physically.

9. Step 2 – Examining readiness
Measuring Maturity - Psychological Maturity
Do you accept responsibility without being reminded or pressured?
Do you perform a job well because of a sense of pride and respect for work?
Can you give up short-term comfort for long-term gain?
Can you set aside your own needs when someone else’s needs are more important?
Do you make and keep commitments?
Are you confident about your ability to handle whatever comes you way?
Are you controlling the direction your life is taking?
Do you set your own goals and are you self-motivated to reach them?
Can you make decisions based on reason rather than emotions?
Can you solve problems skilfully?
Could you live on your own and take care of yourself?
Do you have a strong and positive sense of self?
Are you even-tempered and peaceful?
Do you have a positive outlook on life?

10. Step 2 – Examining readiness
Measuring Maturity – Physical Maturity
Are a nutritious diet, enough sleep, and regular medical check-ups a part of your lifestyle?
Do any medical conditions exist that could affect, or be affected by, pregnancy? Some examples are eating disorders, diabetes, kidney disease, and sexually transmitted disease.
Would the baby be at risk for an inherited disorder?
Are the mother’s immunizations and vaccines up to date?
Does the mother need extensive dental work?
Would a baby be at risk from parents or other family members who abuse alcohol, drugs or who smoke?

11. Step 2 – Examining readiness
Measuring Maturity – Relationship Maturity
Is the relationship satisfying? Do each of you feel that you get as much from the relationship as you give?
Is the relationship comfortable and respectful? Are you both generally respectful? Are you both generally happy with each other’s actions and respectful of each other’s idea’s?
Is the relationship stable? Has it lasted long enough to be sure that infatuation hasn’t been mistaken for love?
Do you both work to settle disagreements or do they remain unresolved? Do disagreements centre around reasonable issues?
Do you share a common philosophy about having and raising children? That is, do you agree on issues such as these: how many children to have; how to divide responsibilities; and attitudes about discipline, education, and religion?

12. Step 2 – Examining Readiness
Measuring Maturity – Lifestyle considerations
Having a baby changes the way you live.
Beth. “John and I love our daughter very much, but I think having her has been hard, for him especially. He wasn’t really ready to be tied down. John still likes to spend a lot of time out with his friends. That leaves me alone taking care of Emmy. I keep wondering when john is going to start acting more like a husband and father”
Ben. “ Before the baby came along, Katie and I spent a lot of time with our friends. We took weekend bike trips, played tennis, went out to movies – you name it. We’ve had to cut way back on all that and I miss is a lot.”

13. Step 2 – Examining Readiness
Measuring Maturity – Financial Considerations
Is there a steady source of income? Does it meet expenses? How much income goes into savings? What other expenses are there?
What cost will result from pregnancy, birth, and providing for a child?
Do you have extended health care coverage?
Who will take care of the baby? If a parent stays home will one income be enough?
If paid childcare is necessary – how much will it cost?
Will larger living quarters be needed immediately? In six months? In a year?

14. Step 3 – Identify your pressures to Have Children
Oftentimes, people knowingly or unknowingly, will place extra pressure on couples to have children. Some of the more commonly used phrases or social pressure tactics include:

15. Social Pressures: Social Pressures:
Once you have a partner, it is the next logical step…
All our friends are having children….
Keeps a marriage together (saves a shaky marriage)….
Keeps you young…
The rewards of love and affection from a child (someone will love me)….
Phrases:
“When will you start a family (you are not a family until a child joins you)”
“You are not a woman until you have had a child”
“I want grandchildren”

16. Key Question
1. Review the pressures to have children. Explain whether you believe they are good reasons or bad reasons. 2. List each pressure and the reasons (good or bad) in a chart similar to the one on the right. 3. In your opinion, what are the best reasons for having children? Explain your answer.
Pressure
Good
Bad
Why?

17. Step 4 – Identify Challenges of Parenthood
Since parenthood spans many years, it can include many ups and downs. Every family is different, therefore, not all families will experience parenthood in exactly the same way, but they will face similar challenges. The challenges continue and change with each stage of the child’s development.
Other challenges, include:
divorce,
death,
poverty,
special needs children,
and job changes or loss

18. Step 4 – Identify Challenges of Parenthood
When potential parents educate and prepare themselves for parenthood, they actually reflect and analyze critically the possible scenarios that could happen. As they reflect, they can better understand the actions and decisions of their own parents and can speculate about their own future parenting experience.

19. Step 4 – Identify Challenges to Parenthood
The challenges of parenthood are many but the most commonly cited ones are: 1. Balancing work and family. 2. Lack of sleep. 3. Caring for a sick infant. 4. Financial considerations. 5. Disciplining young children. 6. Meal Planning. 7. Time Management. 8. Finding appropriate child care. 9. Lifestyle changes. 10. Effects on other family members.

20. Step 5A – Detailed look at challenges
Financial
Create a baby budget
What do you think it costs to raise a child?

21. Step 5B – Detailed look at challenges
Time Management
Create a Parent Schedule
Parenthood is a 24 hour, 7 days a week commitment. What does a parent’s schedule look like? How many hours in a day do they have to themselves?

22. Pleasures of Parenting
Laughing Babies; you tube videos
Visit Baby Centre .com and set up an account
Share highlights from our own childhood