1. Marrying
Finding a Life Partner

2. What qualities do people look for in a marriage partner?
Good companion
Considerate
Honest
Affectionate
Dependable
Intelligent
Kind
Understanding
Interesting to talk to
Loyal

3. What are the steps to take to marriage?
After intense romance
High school sweet hearts
Longer relationship
Cohabitation

4. Cohabitation Many think
Common sense
Trains people for marriage
Studies have shown that it does not improve chances of finding a compatible mate
Communication not cohabitation is a key way to discover whether you are ready for marriage

5. Write down in your notes the list of things to communicate about before marriage

6. On Loose-Leaf What advice would you give to the couple?
Which of the things to communicate about before marriage applies?
Why do you think it is important or not important to talk about this?
Put the number for the scenario on your paper.

7. Happy Marriages Start with…
Having good self image
Good communication skills
Wanting to “be” married not just “get” married

8. 10 Steps to a Happy Marriage
Strong commitment to the married lifestyle and fidelity
Good problem solving skills: there will be problems
Mutual trust, respect and honesty
Having fun together, really enjoying each other

9. 10 Steps Continued
Sharing similar backgrounds: social, economic, religious, values, ethnicity?
Sharing a belief in the meaning of life and the value of life
Respecting each other as individuals with their own space, but shared activities show both interests

10. 10 Steps Continued
Sharing a love of children, but their love for each other was the reason to stay together not the children only
Appreciating each other. High level of forgiveness and acceptance
Not living in the past, stop blaming others, don’t focus on past grievances.

11. Romantic Notions: Unrealistic expectations
Being “in love” is sufficient reason to marry.
Looking for Mr. Perfect
“We’ll work that out when married” or “He’ll change.”
I know the right person when I “feel” it.
Choosing should be easy. It is fate or destiny
“We’ll live happily ever after”

12. Why do people marry?

13. Sharing Life with a Loving Companion
Deep friendship for life

14. Creating New Life Most obvious way is through children
Participate in creation with God, the source of all human life

15. Strengthening Individual Identities
Strengthens, does not merge or repress
Nourish each others particular gifts
Strengthens roots of identity

16. Calling forth the Best in Each Person
Can put aside masks and honestly be themselves
Revealing this true self is liberating
The give-and-take of marriage constantly calls forth gifts and personality traits that renew the partners
Through their relationship they discover they best and truest selves

17. Enabling a Couple to Reach Out
Freed by their love to reach out to others
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

18. Supporting the Journey of Faith
Means of support for their journey in faith
Journey in faith cannot be traveled alone
Supported and nurtured by community
Ritual of the sacrament of marriage is intended to be a community celebration, not a private event

19. Marriage as a Covenant of Love
Mirrors the covenant between God and God’s people
What is a covenant?
Deeply personal, solemn promise made between persons
Pledge of faithful love
Requires maturity, realism, and preparation
How is this possible?
God’s grace given in the sacrament

20. Covenant vs. Contract Vows Unconditional Mutual Says, “We do”
Is forever
Open ended: Rich, Poor, Sick, Health, Better, Worse
Contract
Conditions
Self Centered
Says, “Maybe, until”
If…then
When…then
Until…then

21. Covenant vs. Contract Blessings are forever Mutual Freedom
Mutual Growth
“Our” life together
Contract can change, can be updated
My possessions
My property
My money
What I acquire

22. A Symbol of God’s Faithful Love
God’s faithful love for people
Two persons freely give their love to each other “in good times and in bad”
Symbolizes the love of Christ for the church
The God who is love is made visible in the love of the couple
The sacrament of marriage is living out life together

23. “What God has Joined Together..”
Permanence of marriage
Based on the teachings of Jesus
“the two shall become one flesh”
Necessary for the good of society
When marriages end society suffers from instability
Broken marriages cause emotional, financial, spiritual and interpersonal pain

24. Taking Vows: Offering Own Integrity
Marriage vows are the formal way that the couple make their covenant to each other
Solemn promise
We commit our entire being to it
We offer our own integrity

25. The Validity of the Vows
Must be given freely and knowledgeably in order to be valid, or true or binding
Freedom from pressures
Many pressures can weaken a person’s ability to consent freely to marriage, thus making the vows invalid
Knowledge and willingness
Must know what marriage promises mean
Must know about the other person too

26. If vows are not taken freely and knowledgeably…
Annulment: marriage vows were invalid from the beginning
Says marriage was never a valid sacrament
At the time of the wedding sacrament one or both persons were not able to make a valid vow

27. Different from…
Divorce: dissolves the legal contract of marriage

28. Engagement Beginning a relationship of mutual commitment
Should ask themselves: can we freely, responsibly and lovingly commit ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives
Implies involvement or activity
Trust needs to be deepened
Mutual self-disclosure
Should last for months
Time of trial

29. Marriage Preparation
Intended to help a couple get ready for the serious and deep commitment of marriage
To realize marriage is a sacrament in union with the whole church
Designed to assist couples in fulfilling their mutual commitment
Often involves courses and meeting with a counselor

30. The Wedding Celebration
Joyful celebrations
Anticipates with hope a love that will endure the test of time
Shows love of couple as well as God’s love to community
Community serves as witness
Highlights the public commitment of the couple
The sacrament sign of marriage is sharing of life together

31. The Rite of Marriage Usually takes place within the Mass
Following Liturgy of the Word
3 Questions the Priest asks
Have you come here freely?
Will you love and honor each other everyday for the rest of your lives?
Will you accept children lovingly from God?

32. Vows
I promise to be true to you in good times and bad, in sickness and health, I will love and honor you all the days of my life.
Tells all who are present that these two persons have a goal of permanent commitment to foster each other’s good and thus the good of society as a whole.
Time of hope and optimism for all
Helps couple to realize the support of the community