1. When Forgiveness and Self-Preservation Collide

2. The Bible is abundantly clear about our strict obligation to forgive others. – Jesus warns us that the unforgiveness we level at others will be leveled at us. (Matthew 6) – Jesus instructs us to forgive others abundantly – seventy (times) seven. (Matthew 18)

3. Interesting Parallel: Is the seventy-seven number entirely random? Read Genesis 4:13-15, 23-24 – Lamech prescribes the formula for human retribution. – Jesus commands us to reflect His limitless forgiveness upon those who “sin against us.”

4. What is the opposite of healing, and which consequences can it bring? A lack of healing can also be accompanied by a lack of confidence, and more importantly, trust in God. Affliction has a time and purpose with God, but Jesus clearly showed His emphasis on healing here on Earth.

5. Not so fast. BUT, let’s look at a world view first.

6. Self-Discovery Self-Expression Self-Protection

7. The victim is encouraged to get in touch with his or her repressed emotions. This often involves deeper exploration of a hurt, possible prior hurts, and their ramifications.

8. Once these emotions are identified, the victim is encouraged to express and release these emotions. This is the healing or cleansing stage of the exercise, intended to lead to a form of freedom from the hurt.

9. The victim is encouraged to identify and establish meaningful boundaries in his/her life. These boundaries are meant to minimize or eliminate the chance of experiencing serious hurt again.

10. Don’t panic if you resonated with the previous three slides. There are nuggets of truth and wisdom there. The Biblical path simply begins with a different base and leads to a different goal.

11. “Do I believe that God is good, even though He allowed me to be hurt in this way?” This immediately shifts power to the “victim,” because God’s sovereignty and constructive purpose to affliction arise.

12. “I am called to love those around me, even my enemies. Am I willing to give myself to that purpose? Am I more interested in God’s role for me in their lives than my own sense of self- preservation?”

13. Review the Beatitudes (Matthew 5) John 12:25-26

14. Jesus did two remarkable things to answer this question: – He warned us. Through free choice, we have the option to follow His teachings or not. – He encouraged us to follow His example, with promises of adversity every step of the way.

15. A common misconception is that getting past a wrong involves minimizing or dismissing it as “not all that bad.” This is called “excusing,” not “forgiving” or “healing.”

16. “Real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin, the sin that is left over without any excuse after all allowances have been made, and seeing it in all its horror, dirt, meanness and malice, and nevertheless being wholly reconciled to the man who has done it. That, and only that is forgiveness.”

17. …that also sounds like a sound definition of “power.” …the kind of power that could only come from God. God will square things up. (Romans 12)

18. Forgiveness is not an emotional feeling, but a sheer act of will. The effort and expense you put into forgiveness must outmatch the hurt and pain involved. Only God can help us do that!