1. Pitstop – stress and relaxation Sheila Stephen

2. Stress is a reaction to change or challenge, good or bad

3. Other definitions An imbalance between demand and resources When perceived pressure exceeds your ability to cope Flight/fight

4. Stress tables (Holmes & Rahe 1967) Death of spouse – 100 Separation – 65Death of close member of family – 63 Major change in health of family member – 44 Pregnancy – 40 Major illness - 53

5. Cont. Major revision of personal habits – 24Moving house – 20Major change in social activities – 18Christmas – 12Retirement – 45 Changing new line of work – 36

7. Meeting a Lion! Eyes – blurred visionGlands – sweating, dry mouthBreathing – fasterStomach – nauseaSkin – tingling, numbnessHead – faint, loss of balanceHeart – beats fasterHands – tremorLegs - shaking

8. Symptoms of Prolonged Stress PalpitationsTight chest/breathlessnessIndigestion/nauseaTiredness Muscle twitches/vague aches & pains Skin irritations & rashesClenched fist or jaw Frequent infections (colds, flu) Constipation or diarrhoeaRapid weight gain or loss Change in menstrual pattern Tension

9. Symptoms of Prolonged Stress Emotional Mood swingsWorrying moreAnger/irritabilityGuilt feelingsDrained, no enthusiasmAnxiety/nervous Loss of confidence & self- esteem Loss of concentration Behavioural Increase in drinking, smokingLoss or gain in appetiteChange in sleep patternLoss of interest in sexWithdrawal from peopleToo busy to relaxLack of self-care

11. Pressures Hospital?Relatives Siblings The system FinancesMarriage/ Relationship The future isolationAlways “there” Different parenting

12. Other People’s Reactions

13. Parents’ Reactions BlameDisbeliefAngerFearDespairGuilt“Loss” of childHelp – other people

14. Quote from a Mum The people I came into contact with in the early months were only interested in my child, they never asked how I felt...everyone just expected me to ‘carry on and cope’..and I don’t feel I am always…

15. There are times when it is a nightmare and you feel like throwing yourself down the stairs so that YOU can go to hospital for a rest! Quote from a Mum

16. Quote from a Sibling I felt that since I was ‘normal’ I didn’t deserve attention. If I ever asked for anything my grandmother would remind me that my sister’s needs were greater than mine, since she was in a wheelchair.

17. Stress Management DemandsControlSupportClarity of role Management of continual change

18. Mental Learn to recognise the NATS:CatastrophisingNegative focusPersonalisingMagnifying or minimisingJumping to conclusions Physical DietExerciseBreathingRelaxation Stress Management

19. Dealing with Thoughts Unhelpful thoughts Helpful thoughts It’s no good contacting that organisation, no one understands. I might as well try, what have I got to lose.

20. Emotional Acknowledge & nameExploreUnderstandAct Social Support networkBoundariesFlexibilityCreativityDon’t compare! Stress Management Spiritual

21. Parents – Your Relationship Talk and listen – keep the door open between you Stay “in touch”A date night! Counselling

22. Resources for Stress Management Relaxation Exercises (www.glasgowsteps.com)www.glasgowsteps.comLiving Life to the Full (www.livinglifetothefull.com)www.livinglifetothefull.com Northumberland Tyne & Wear NHS (www.ntw.nhs.uk/pic/selfhelp/) MoodGYM (www.moodgym.anu.edu.au)www.moodgym.anu.edu.auBibliotherapy schemesPrescribed Exercise schemes

23. A word about support Parent support groupsBefrienders (Care For The Family)Sibling support groupsFacebook groupsCarers UK

24. Care for the Family Care for the Family is a national charity which aims to promote strong family life and to help those who face family difficulties. Care for the Family, Garth House, Leon Avenue, Cardiff, CF15 7RG Tel: 029 2081 0800 www.careforthefamily.org.uk Care for the Family is a registered charity in England and Wales (number 1066905) and in Scotland (number SCO38497). A private company limited by guarantee (number 3482910) registered in England and Wales.