1. Chapter 7: The Path to Commitment: Attraction, Dating, Partnering, and Cohabitation

2. Interpersonal Attraction
The Evolutionary Theory
Sexual selection
Members of one sex compete among themselves for opportunities to mate
One person chooses to mate with a specific person
Some are more preferable than others

3. Interpersonal Attraction
The Right Stuff: What Men Want
Men are concerned with quantity according to evolutionists
Men select women who possess fertility cues
Physical attractiveness
Certain physiological features important

4. Interpersonal Attraction
Reproductive Promise: Youth
Youth equals attractiveness and beauty
Nip and tuck
Surgical and non-surgical procedures on women and men increased dramatically

5. Interpersonal Attraction
Reproductive Promise: The Language of Curves
Puberty signals changes in body shape for males and females
Waist-to-hip ratio contributes to attractiveness
Means woman is capable of reproducing

6. Interpersonal Attraction
The Right Stuff: What Women Want
Sexual selection – women more selective than men
Concerned with the quality of children
Look for positive genetic traits and characteristics

7. Interpersonal Attraction
Provider/Protector Cues
Women want man who:
Can provide and protect
Is willing to provide and protect
Attraction based on protector/provider cues

8. Interpersonal Attraction
Women seek men who are culturally successful
Display dominant behaviors
Ambition- determination and motivation
Industry- hard work, diligence, productivity
Good financial prospects- ability for economic gain

9. Social Exchange Theory
Key Concepts
All behavior is a series of varying exchanges
All individuals seek to maximize their rewards and minimize their costs
When rewards are received, the benefactor feels obligated to reciprocate
Rewards minus costs equal the outcome of the interpersonal exchange

10. Figure 7.1: The Filter Theory of Mate Selection

11. Filter Theory of Mate Selection
Individuals use a filtering mechanism to sort out a potential mate from the pool of candidates
Filters
Propinquity: geographic closeness
Homogamy: someone who is similar to you
Exogamy – outside a particular group
Endogamy – inside a certain group
Heterogamy – partners of different races

12. Filter Theory of Mate Selection
Physical attractiveness filter – individuals are attracted to those who are at least as attractive as they are
Balance sheet filter – refers to reciprocity
look for someone who can offer us something others cannot

13. Dating Purposes of dating
Socialization: dating provides time for interaction
Recreation: provides time to enjoy each other’s company and have fun
Mate selection: provides opportunity to compare and contrast personality traits of different people

14. Table 7.1: Scripted Events for a Typical Date

15. Table 7.2: Scripts for Hypothetical and Actual First Dates for Gay Men and Lesbians

16. Dating in the 21st Century
Speed dating - Allows people to meet each other face to face and if they are interested, then they can arrange for a more extended date
Internet Dating – internet chat rooms are replacing bars as a meeting place for available singles

17. Figure 7.3: Sexual Acts in College Hookups

18. Dating in the 21st Century
“Hookin’ up” – physical interactions without absence or commitment or affection, gaining popularity on college campuses
“Friends with benefits” or “booty call” – people who have regular sex but do not relate as a couple

19. Figure 7.2: Dating–Related Activities Online

20. Figure 7.3: Sexual Acts in College Hookups

21. Knapp’s Relationship Escalation Model
Initiation – couples present their public selves, observe the traits of the other person
Experimenting/exploration – information gathering stage
Intensification – formal interactions give way to less formal, more spontaneous conversation

22. Knapp’s Relationship Escalation Model
Integrating – become a couple and are identified as a couple
Bonding/intimacy – couple reaches a shared level of interdependence

23. Duck’s Relationship Filtering Model
Sociological or incidental cue – a person’s location or position
Pre-interaction cue – at a glance information helps to decide if they would want to date a person
Interaction cues – make assessments about whether they want to get to know someone better

24. Duck’s Relationship Filtering Model
Cognitive cues – when we decide to spend more time with someone, these cues tell us more about a person than just superficial information

25. Commitment Commitment is the result of 3 factors:
Growing satisfaction with each other’s ability to meet and gratify important needs
Decreasing reliance on friends and family to meet needs that the couple provides for each other
Increasing investments in the relationship such as time, material resources and emotional/personal investment

26. Commitment A long term orientation 3 types of commitment:
Personal commitment: feeling, thoughts, beliefs about a life mate
Moral commitment: a person’s value and belief system
Structural commitment: commitments bound by institutions such as marriage

27. Table 7.3: Distress/Protest Reactions to Breaking Up

28. Cohabitation The living arrangements of unmarried, intimate partners
Rates of cohabitation vary by
Regions
Religion
Age
Race
Social class
Educational attainment

29. Figure 7.4: Percentages of Persons of the Opposite Sex sharing Living Quarters across regions of the United States

30. Figure 7.5: Living Together without Getting Married

31. Figure 7.6: Rates of Cohabitation by Race

32. Figure 7.7: Percentage of Parents Who were Married or Cohabitating at the Birth of Their First Child, by Race/Ethnicity and Sex

33. Does Cohabitation Work?
Relationship dissatisfaction and marital failure – cohabitation before marriage correlated with high relationship dissatisfaction and higher risk of divorce
Relationship Violence – cohabitation before marriage has an increased risk of violence against women and children