2. Bullying: Information for Parents Toni McDaniel, School Counselor Huntsville Elementary Presented by Kristy Ellison and Toni McDaniel Title 1 Parent Meeting March 15, 2012

3. What is bullying? “Bullying is unfair and one-sided. It happens when someone keeps hurting, frightening, threatening, or leaving someone out on purpose.” *Repetitve and Intentional* As of June 2009, all forms of bullying are punishable by law in the State of North Carolina.

4. NC School Violence Prevention General Statute Article 29C §115C-407.15 Bullying and harassing behavior: As used in this Article, "bullying or harassing behavior" is any pattern of gestures or written, electronic, or verbal communications, or any physical act or any threatening communication, that takes place on school property, at any school-sponsored function, or on a school bus. http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/PDF/ByArticle/Cha pter_115C/Article_29C.pdf

5. Who does the bullying and why? Bullies come in all shapes and sizes…big or small, old or young, rich or poor, boy or girl. They want to have power and control over others. They do this by making others feel bad about themselves.

6. What do bullies look for and why? Differences: Bullies look for someone who is different in some way—hair or skin color, accent, disability, religion, gender, academics, physical appearance….any difference.

7. What do bullies look for and why? Helplessness: Bullies need a target that will feel scared or upset and maybe even cry. They want their target to feel helpless because it makes them feel powerful and in control.

8. What do bullies look for and why? Isolation: Bullies want their target to be alone. It may keep them out of trouble and make them feel more intimidating.

9. How does bullying make children feel?

10. When a child is bullied at school they may: Make up excuses for not going to school Develop sleeping or eating problems Have unexplained bruises or torn clothes Continually lose things or need extra money for school supplies Be unusually quiet or isolate themselves as soon as they get home

11. "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." ~ Theodore Roosevelt So……….. What can parents do?

12. If you suspect a problem….. Talk with your child about school every day Ask specific questions, such as “Is there someone in your class, at recess, or on the bus that picks on others?” Let the school know your concerns Do not advise your child to ignore the problem Do not advise your child to physically handle the problem

13. Listen by HEARing: Helpfulness *listen first and get all the details; don’t rush Empathy *try to understand and not criticize Attentiveness *don’t get distracted Responsiveness *show interest and concern; if needed, report incident to school officials

14. Help your child build positive social skills…. Encourage friendships Arrange weekend play dates to promote friendships Teach your child self-respect and the importance of “standing tall” If your child is shy, role play situations that have occurred previously Teach your child to share, compromise, and apologize to help avoid conflicts

15. Teach your child to handle bullying situations by: Staying with others: bullies are usually more aggressive with kids who are alone Controlling their reactions: a bully feels “big” if the target gets upset Learning to respond with humor and assertiveness: the bully may not know what to say or do next Knowing who to report to when bullied: a situation may arise that requires adult intervention

16. What is a bystander? An innocent person that sees bullying happen. Bystanders have the responsibility of intervening by… Standing up to the bully: “Stop it!”, “That’s not funny!”, “How would you feel if someone said/did that to you?” Getting the help of an adult immediately

17. What can students do?

18. What to do if you find out that your child bullies others Evaluate whether the behavior is a problem at home. Do parents model bullying behavior? Does child exhibit bullying behavior toward younger sibling(s)? Family therapy may be needed. Provide as much parental supervision as possible. Put an immediate stop to any bullying behavior you observe. Avoid physical punishment as discipline; this may encourage your child to hurt others. Instead, take away privileges or add extra jobs around the house. Always reward your child with lots of praise and positive feedback when caring and appropriate behaviors are exhibited.

19. Huntsville’s Action Plan This school year: Character Education Lessons Anti-bullying Week April 10-13 Next school year: Character Education Lessons Anti-bullying Month—October Include Bully Prevention in PBIS Program.

20. Questions?

21. Sources/Parent Resources for Bullying Information http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/PD F/ByArticle/Chapter_115C/Article_29C.pdf http://www.pbis.org/common/pbisresources/publications/bully prevention_ES.pdf http://www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org/ http://www.bam.gov/sub_yourlife/yourlife_bullyroundup.html http://www.kidpower.org/resources/articles/prevent- bullying.html?gclid=CNb3sPSqxKcCFQXu7QodgESaDg Bullyproofing Your School: a Comprehensive Approach for Elementary Schools, published by Sopris West, Longmont, CO copyright 2000 (second edition)