2. Welcome to the Family Court Services Orientation for Parents & Guardians If you would like to attend the group Orientation at the office of Family Court Services in person, please call (916) 875-2600

3. This Presentation We have designed this presentation to help you understand the child custody recommending counseling/mediation process. Section I: General Information about child custody recommending counseling/mediation. Section II: child custody recommending counseling/mediation when there are allegations of Domestic Violence. Section III: Getting the most out of your child custody recommending counseling/mediation Section IV: Special Topics

4. If you have questions...... about the information in this presentation, write your questions in your questionnaire and bring them to your child custody recommending counseling/mediation appointment. Your child custody recommending counselor/child custody recommending counselor/mediator will be happy to answer your questions.

5. Attending Orientation at FCS If you wish to attend a group Orientation program provided at the office of Family Court Services in person, please call (916) 875-2600 for available times and dates.

6. Agreements A special note about: Agreements Some parents work out agreements on their own, or with the help of a professional. If parents already have a written, signed and dated agreement on custody and visitation, they are not required to come to child custody recommending counseling/mediation.

7. Agreements A special note about: Agreements The following Court forms may be helpful in preparing your agreement about custody or parenting plan. FL-355Stipulation and Order for Custody and/or Visitation of Children FL-341Child Custody and Visitation Order Attachment FL-341 SChild Custody And Visitation Order Attachment (Spanish) FL-341(A)*Supervised Visitation Order FL-341(B)*Child Abduction Prevention Order Attachment FL-341(C)Children's Holiday Schedule Attachment FL-341(D)Additional Provisions-Physical Custody Attachment FL-341(E)Joint Legal Custody Attachment These forms are available at the office of Family Court Services, or from the California Court ’ s website at: http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/cgi- bin/forms.cgi

8. Agreements A special note about: Agreements If you have come to an agreement and do not need or wish to proceed with your child custody recommending counseling/mediation appointment, please have both parties call to cancel the appointment. Family Court Services phone number: 916-875-2600

9. Agreements A special note about: Agreements If you have come to an agreement, but still would like help in preparing a written agreement, Family Court Services can provide assistance. If you have come to an agreement before, during or after child custody recommending counseling/mediation, you may be able to have your hearing cancelled under some circumstances.

10. Part I: Important Terms to Know There are some terms which are helpful to know as you go through this legal process. These include: Custody: Legal & Physical child custody recommending counseling/mediation, child custody recommending counselor/child custody recommending counselor/mediator & Child Custody child custody recommending counseling/mediation Co-parents The Best Interests of the Child The Parenting Plan Child Custody Evaluation

11. “ Custody ” There are two kinds of custody: Legal Custody & Physical Custody It ’ s important to know the difference between them.

12. “ Legal Custody ” Legal Custody : The right to make decisions about a child ’ s education, non- emergency medical, psychological, dental and optometric care. Joint legal custody permits both parents to be involved in these decisions. Sole legal custody gives one parent authority to make these decisions.

13. “ Physical Custody ” Physical custody : the actual time that the child spends with each parent. Joint physical custody: means that each parent has significant time with the child. It does not require that time is shared equally or 50/50. Sole physical custody: means that a child resides with one parent, subject to the power of the Court to order visitation.

14. “ Primary Residence ” “ Primary Physical Custody ” The home in which the child spends the majority of time. This term is only required when a parent is applying for public benefits on behalf of the child.

15. Sole Custody May be granted to one parent if: –The other parent is absent, incarcerated, homeless or his/her whereabouts are unknown –There is substantiated information that the other parent is on drugs or abuses alcohol or is significantly mentally disabled –There is substantiated information about domestic violence, child abuse or neglect.

16. Sole Custody... Is not granted to one parent based on failure to pay child support Is not granted to one parent based solely on the other parent’s amount of involvement with the child(ren). May be temporary until the other parent is able to comply with court orders or treatment programs.

17. “ Child custody recommending counseling/mediation ” Child custody recommending counseling/mediation is a meeting between disputing parties and a neutral third person – the child custody recommending counselor/mediator – whose role is to assist the parties in reaching an agreement. The child custody recommending counselor/mediator does not represent either party, but remains impartial.

18. “ Child custody recommending counselor/mediator ” Child custody recommending counseling/mediations are conducted by child custody recommending counselor/mediators who have education and experience in psychology, social work, marriage, family and child counseling, or related fields with special training in working with families in conflict, domestic violence and custody related issues.

19. “ Child Custody child custody recommending counseling/mediation ” When parents do not agree on custody and visitation arrangements, California law requires that they attend child custody recommending counseling/mediation before the court hearing to try to reach an agreement. In child custody child custody recommending counseling/mediation we will attempt to help you reach an agreement on the custody and visitation with your child. There is no fee charged for child custody recommending counseling/mediations provided by Family Court Services.

20. Child Protective Services and Law Enforcement Agency If, in the course of the child custody recommending counseling/mediation, the child custody recommending counselor/mediator hears of abuse or neglect to a minor or vulnerable adult, or hears of a person ’ s intent to harm himself or herself or another, the child custody recommending counselor/mediator is required to report that information to law enforcement or child protection agency.

21. “ Co-Parents ” Parents who share responsibility for raising their child(ren), even though they no longer live together.

22. “ Best Interests of the Child ” When the court makes an order for a parenting plan, the judge must consider what is in the best interests of the child. The best interests of the child guide all custody and visitation decisions in Family Court.

23. “ Best Interests of the Child ” Following may be some of the factors considered in determining the best interest of the child: The age of child; The relationship of the child’s parents and any other persons who may significantly affect the child’s welfare; The preference of the child, if old enough to express a meaningful preference; The duration and adequacy of the child’s current living arrangements and the desirability of maintaining continuity;

24. “ Best Interests of the Child ” (continued) The stability of any proposed living arrangements for the child; The motivation of the parties involved and their capacities to give the child love, affection and guidance; The child’s adjustment to the child’s present home, school and community; The capacity of each parent to allow and encourage frequent and continuing contact between the child and the other parent, including physical stress;

25. “ Best Interests of the Child ” (continued) The capacity of each parent to cooperate in child care; Methods for assisting parental cooperation and resolving disputes and each parent’s willingness to use these methods; The effect on the child if one parent has sole authority over the child’s upbringing; and All other factors having reasonable bearing on the physical and psychological well-being of the child.

26. “ Parenting Plan ” A Parenting Plan is a detailed plan for sharing time with your children. It includes: – Custody ~ Legal & Physical – Time-sharing arrangements – Logistical arrangements: Who provides transportation, exchange locations, etc.

27. “ Stipulation ” A formal agreement between the parties. When a stipulation is written and signed by a Judge, it becomes a court order.

28. “ Child Custody Evaluation ” In rare cases, the Court may order FCS or appoint a professional to conduct a child custody evaluation and provide an extensive report with a recommendation. The parents, NOT THE COURT, pay for the evaluation. Evaluations can be lengthy, time- consuming and costly. The parents, NOT THE COURT, pay for the evaluation.

29. Starting the Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Process The Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Children in Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation The Child Custody Recommending Counselor/Child Custody Recommending Counselor/Mediator ’ s Report The Hearing After the Hearing Part II: The child custody recommending counseling/mediation Process

30. Starting the Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Process Court Orders or a motion filed by either parent (Order to Show Cause or Notice of Motion) brings a matter before the Court; A Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation appointment is set; Orientation is made available; Parties appear for Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation

31. Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation What will we do in Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation? Negotiate. You and the other party will each present your proposals for custody and visitation, and will negotiate and compromise to reach an agreement

32. Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Who should attend? You, the other party or parties and your children between 5-17 years old.

33. Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Who should not attend? It is not advisable to bring friends, current boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, partners or relatives to Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation. They will not be included in Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation. Too many people tend to cause confusion and may create more animosity. If you bring someone, it is recommended that they are a neutral party.

34. When you arrive for Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Report to Room 104 (first floor) a few minutes before your scheduled appointment time. Children between the ages of 5-12 years old may be checked into the playroom located to the left of the elevators. Turn in all completed forms and paperwork at the window in Room 104. Your child custody recommending counselor/mediator will review your paperwork and call you generally within 30 minutes.

35. What to Bring to Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Your completed Social History Forms and Child Custody Questionnaire Any additional documents: No more than 10 pages 8 ½ x 11 paper, single sided with PROOF OF SERVICE (a document/form showing that the other party has been served). Full names and birthdates of all parties directly involved in your children’s lives

36. Paperwork It is best to try and use the space allotted in the social history forms and child custody questionnaires for your answers. Do not copy the questions into other documents or add additional pages unless you serve the extra pages with a proof of service to the other party.

37. A special note about: Domestic Violence There are rules that the Judge must follow in granting custody when he or she has made a determination that violence has occurred. If your case involves domestic violence, California Family Code Section 3044 (presumption against persons perpetrating domestic violence) may apply to your case. You may obtain a copy of this Family Code Section from Family Court Services or online at www.leginfo.ca.gov./calaw.html

38. A special note about: Domestic Violence If there is a restraining order protecting you from the other party and/or if domestic violence has occurred, you may request to have a separate appointment from the other party to meet with the child custody recommending counselor/mediator.

39. Domestic Violence and Requesting a “ Separate Appointment ” If you wish to have a separate appointment due to domestic violence, you may state in writing that there is a restraining order protecting you from the other parent or swear under penalty of perjury that the other party has been violent or abusive towards you. The Domestic Violence Questionnaire provided to you has a section for you to use for this purpose.

40. Domestic Violence and Requesting a “ Separate Appointment ” If you wish to have your appointment set separately from the other party, please complete the Domestic Violence Questionnaire and Separate Appointment Request Form provided to you and turn it in (in person, or by mail, or fax) to Family Court Services as soon as possible.

41. In Domestic Violence Cases: Meeting Separately If you meet together with the other party, the child custody recommending counselor/mediator will work to create an environment that is safe and will permit you to be heard. If you at any time feel unsafe, the child custody recommending counselor/mediator will end the session and interview both parties separately.

42. Domestic Violence If you have a restraining order or you are uncomfortable being in the waiting area with the other party due to domestic violence, you may request to be escorted to another waiting area until child custody recommending counseling/mediation begins. Please request this when you check in for child custody recommending counseling/mediation, or call Family Court Services at (916) 875-2600.

43. Domestic Violence Cases: Bringing a Support Person If you have a restraining order, you may have a support person present during the child custody recommending counseling mediation: Your support person may provide you with emotional support, but may not participate in the child custody recommending counseling/mediation.

44. Domestic Violence If you still have concerns related to domestic violence on the day of child custody recommending counseling/mediation, please let the clerk of the Family Court Services Unit know when you check in. The child custody recommending counselor/mediator will discuss your concerns at that time.

45. Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Goals To reach an agreement about custody of your children; To reach an agreement about a schedule for sharing time with your children; To work out the details of that schedule in the parenting plan. To gather important information from both parties to help the Judge make an order when there is no agreement.

46. What we cannot do in child custody recommending counseling/mediation There are some matters that we cannot address in child custody recommending counseling/mediation. These include: Giving legal advice Child support Spousal support Division of property

47. Children in Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Please bring all children between the ages of 5-17 to appointment! If it is appropriate and necessary to interview your child, the child custody recommending counselor/mediator will advise you and speak alone with your child.

48. Children in Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Child custody recommending counselor/mediator may use his or her discretion in deciding if it is necessary to interview your children. The child custody recommending counselor/mediators are trained to work sensitively with children in these matters. The children are not asked to choose sides or to choose between parents.

49. Children in Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation The law does not specify an exact age when children have a say about where they live. A child’s maturity as well as age may be considered when deciding how much weight should be given to the child’s preference.

50. The Child Custody Recommending Counselor/Mediator ’ s Report Your child custody recommending counseling/mediation will result in a report to the Court. If you and the other parent reach an agreement in child custody recommending counseling/mediation, the report will reflect your agreed-upon parenting plan.

51. Pro Per Stipulation If you and the other party reach an agreement during child custody recommending counseling/mediation and neither of you have attorneys and no other issues are set to be heard by the court, your child custody recommending counselor/mediator can have you sign a “stipulation” form and will notify the court to vacate your hearing.

52. Partial Agreement or Recommendation If you and the other party did not reach an agreement, the child custody recommending counselor will still prepare a report to the Court. The report may reflect a partial agreement between the parties or in cases where parties cannot agree, a full recommendation will be made.

53. The Child Custody Recommending Counselor ’ s Recommendation The child custody recommending counselor ’ s recommendation is not a court order. Unless it becomes an order, the recommendation is not enforceable.

54. The Child Custody Recommending Counselor ’ s Recommendation......may include tasks for the parents to complete. For example: Parenting or Co-parenting Classes Anger Management Classes Batterer ’ s Treatment Drug or Alcohol Treatment Counseling

55. Remember: It is the best interests of the child ~ not necessarily the needs of the parents ~ that guides the child custody recommending counselor/mediator ’ s recommendations and the Judge ’ s orders.

56. The Hearing If a hearing about custody/visitation has been set, your matter will be heard by the Judge in Family Court. At the hearing, the Judge may review your agreement or the child custody recommending counselor/mediator ’ s recommendation, and may ask you questions. The Judge will then make an order.

57. After the Hearing The Judge ’ s order will be detailed in a document called the Findings and Order After Hearing or the “ Minute Order. ” The Judge ’ s order is enforceable and remains in effect until another order is made to replace it.

58. Part III: Getting the Most out of Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation In the next section, we will cover tips for getting the most from your child custody recommending counseling/mediation.

59. Prepare There is no substitute for preparation! Give careful thought to a parenting plan that will work for your child. Designing the parenting plan should include the active participation of both parents.

60. Preparing for Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Many parents find it helpful to write out a schedule and bring it to child custody recommending counseling mediation. Your questionnaire has forms to assist you in preparing your parenting plan.

61. Preparing for Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Think through the details of the average day: Your child ’ s needs Your child ’ s schedule Your schedule The other party ’ s schedule Other details

62. Preparing for Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Think of special circumstances: Sharing holidays & birthdays Vacations & travel plans Transportation details Exchange locations

63. Preparing for Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation Be realistic. Even the best plan won ’ t work if it ’ s not possible to carry out. Stay focused on your child ’ s needs. This could be an emotionally difficult experience for you. Staying focused on your child will help you in this process. Plan B. Have more than one proposal.

64. Additional Information You are permitted to introduce up to 10 additional pages of information at child custody recommending counseling/mediation. These documents must be served to the other party at least 5 calendar days before the child custody recommending counseling/mediation appointment (10 calendar days if served by mail).

65. Additional Information The documents may be served in person by a third party or deposited in the mail by a third party. The third party fills out the Proof of Service form which is presented with the documents upon check in for the child custody recommending counseling/mediation.

66. Helpful Additional Documents Copies of previous court orders or restraining orders Police reports Medical records regarding treatment for injuries, illnesses, etc. Letters from teachers, child care providers, therapists or other healthcare professionals Attendance records from child ’ s school

67. Documents that may not be as helpful Letters of recommendation from relatives and friends Personal diaries or journal entries Undated pictures Information that has already been submitted in previous child custody recommending counseling/mediations

68. Special Topics Children and divorce Parental cooperation Safety during child custody recommending counseling/mediation Child Protective Services Frequently Asked Questions

69. Children and Divorce Children experience anxiety, distress and insecurity during separation. Expect some changes in your child.

70. Children and Divorce If the child returns from visiting the other parent angry and/or upset, it may not be the fault of the other parent, rather the child may be acting out because he/she senses the tension and unhappiness between his/her parents.

71. Children and Divorce The first year following the separation is a critical time for kids. Parents may be more distracted, and routines may be disrupted. Everyone, including the child, is struggling to find a new balance.

72. Parental Co-operation Children ’ s post-divorce adjustment is directly related to their parents ’ ability to cooperate with one another. Reassure your child that there will be an on-going relationship with each parent and shield your child from the conflict.

73. Parental Cooperation Studies show that children do best when parents cooperate with each other following separation and divorce. Children who have long term emotional problems and relationship difficulties later in life usually have been exposed to ongoing conflict and animosity between their parents while they were children.

74. Kids & Conflict Children exposed to on-going parental conflict have more emotional, behavioral, social and academic problems than children who are sheltered from the fight.

75. Remember: Respect your child’s right to an on-going relationship with the other parent. You are separating from the other parent. Your child is not.

76. Important Reminders Children of all ages, who witness family violence of any kind, are emotionally traumatized. Children need to be emotionally and physically safe from parental conflict. Children need a relationship with both parents.

77. Important Reminders Parents and children experience a great sense of loss in a separation and/or divorce. Parents and children usually need emotional support and guidance through the process of separation and/or divorce. A custody and parenting time plan must take into consideration the age and emotional stage of development of each child.

78. Important Reminders All children need consistency and stability from both parents. Children do better if they know when they will be spending time with each parent. Parents who make their own mutual decisions regarding a post divorce or separation parenting plan are less likely to need future court involvement and are generally happier with the outcome.

79. Co-parenting when there has been Domestic Violence Common orders in cases of domestic violence: One parent may be responsible for the children most of the time; One parent may have supervised visitation; The Court may order counseling before visits begin.

80. Safety during Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation A sheriff’s deputy is located in the office of Family Court Services. This officer provides the child custody recommending counselor/mediators with criminal background check on all parties, may inform parties of any outstanding warrants, fines, etc. and may take parties who have outstanding criminal warrants into custody.

81. Safety during Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation The sheriff’s officer will ensure that all parties treat each other in a respectful manner. The sheriff’s officer is available to escort parties to their vehicle should they feel threatened or endangered in any way. Advise the person at the intake window if you have a restraining order or feel in anyway threatened or in danger. There is a separate waiting area you will be escorted to.

82. Child Protective Services (CPS) Please use the child custody questionnaire to make note of any CPS contacts, prior reports or current open case. The child custody recommending counselor/mediator has direct access to CPS and may obtain information pertaining to your case.

83. Frequently Asked Questions

84. What if the other party doesn ’ t come to Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation? The Court is advised when a parent does not participate. The child custody recommending counselor/mediator will usually meet with the party who is present. The child custody recommending counselor/mediator may attempt to contact the other party. The child custody recommending counselor/mediator may make recommendations to the judge with only one party’s input or the judge may re-refer the parties to child custody recommending counseling/mediation again.

85. What if the other party does not come to Court? The Judge may still make an order for your family or may set another Court date.

86. Can my new spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend participate in child custody recommending counseling/mediation or come to Court? Only parties that are named as parties or legally joined to the action may participate in child custody recommending counseling/mediation. You must file papers to become legally joined to the action.

87. Times can vary depending on the complexity of the case, but plan to spend at least one hour. How many sessions will we attend? Most cases have one child custody recommending counseling/mediation before the first hearing. The Court may refer the matter for additional child custody recommending counseling/mediation when necessary. How long is the Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation?

88. Attorneys are not permitted to participate in child custody recommending counseling/mediation. However, you have a right obtain legal counsel to represent you, or to represent yourself in Court. Attorneys can be especially helpful when there are complex financial matters. Do I need a lawyer if the other party has one?

89. What if the other party does not return my child from a visit? Notify the police. Please do not call the child custody recommending counselor/mediator to report these matters, as the child custody recommending counselor/mediator will not be able to get involved.

90. Who pays transportation costs when there is a great distance between the homes? Transportation costs or other financial matters will not be addressed in child custody recommending counseling/mediation. If parties cannot agree on their own, it may be necessary to obtain an order from a judge regarding money and expenses related to transportation.

91. What is Supervised Visitation? A supervised visit is a meeting of parent and child in the presence of a third person. It is ordered when the Court has concerns about the safety or comfort of the child with a parent or when the Court needs additional information about the visiting parent’s relationship or parenting skills with the child. The third party may be an agency or a mutually agreed upon third party.

92. Do we have to come back to court in order to change our custody schedule? If you and the other parent agree to change the parenting plan without changing the custody order, it is not necessary to return to Court. It is still best to put your new plan in writing, dated & signed by both parents. If you do not agree or other issues arise, you may file a new motion.

93. It is very damaging to children when parents speak badly about each other. Avoid the temptation! What if the other parent is speaking badly about me to the children?

94. Does the Judge ever order that one parent cannot see the child? When does that happen? Rarely. In extreme cases, the Court may stop visitation while a parent fulfills the requirements of the order.

95. No. Neither parent is favored over the other on the basis of gender. Other factors such as the age of the child, the location of the parent to the child ’ s school, which parent has been the primary caretaker may be important factors in child custody decisions. Does the Court favor mothers over fathers or fathers over mothers?

96. In same-sex parent situations, does the Court favor the birth parent over the non-biological parent? No. If the parents were registered as domestic partners and the child was born after January 1, 2005, both parents have equal rights with respect to the child (AB 205).

97. Can I get a late afternoon or evening appointment? Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation appointments are scheduled to take place Monday through Friday, during Family Court Service ’ s working hours (between 8:30 a.m. and 4:00 p.m.).

98. What if I live out of town? If you live more than 150 miles from the Family Relations Courthouse in Sacramento, you may participate in child custody recommending counseling/mediation by telephone, however, if you have physical custody of the child it may be necessary for you and the child to appear in order for the child custody recommending counselor/mediator to interview the child. It is best to call before your appointment and make arrangements with the child custody recommending counseling/mediation staff.

99. Your child custody recommending counselor/mediator will make every effort to provide you a copy of the report prior to your hearing. In most cases the report is mailed at least a week before the hearing date. When can I get a copy of the Child Custody Recommending Counselor/Mediator ’ s report?

100. Let the Judge know the reasons why you do not agree. Judges are not required to follow the child custody recommending counselor ’ s recommendation. Judges may consider information presented in Court before making a decision. What if I disagree with the Child Custody Recommending Counselor ’ s recommendation?

101. Child Support Can I stop visits if the other parent isn ’ t paying child support? No! Contact the Department of Child Support Services if there are problems with child support.

102. The Court may permit visitation, but if the children are named as protected persons, the Court may stop visitation or require supervised visits. If the other party has a restraining order against me, can I still see my children?

103. What should I bring to Child Custody Recommending Counseling/Mediation? Your completed child custody recommending counseling/mediation questionnaire/parenting plan proposal Schedules and/or calendars A flexible and business-like attitude Your best ideas & and an open mind

104. And lastly........................... Do’s and Don’ts in child custody recommending counseling/mediation Don't discuss child support or other financial matters. Do consider your child’s age, temperament, and development. Don’t bad-mouth the other parent. Do discuss only valid concerns about the other parent's ability to care for your child. Don't focus on your needs. Do focus on your child's needs.

105. This concludes our presentation We wish you and your family the best in your co-parenting efforts!