1. “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” Compiled by Steve McKinley, Extension Specialist, Leadership/Volunteerism, mckinles@purdue.edu, 765-494-8435mckinles@purdue.edu IP Video Presentation, January 19, 2006 Indiana 4-H Resource for Extension Educators, Volunteers, and Parents

2. Program Information  Disconnected? Contact the AgIT Help Desk at 765-494-8333  Provide feedback to: Steve at 765- 494-8435, or mckinles@purdue.edu

3. Background…  Parents are an important part of the 4-H program.  The 4-H program has a unique culture that can be confusing.  This series of modules includes information that can help Extension Staff and Volunteers to orient and involve parents in the 4-H Program in a positive way.

4. Uses of Materials  Extension Staff Development  Volunteer Training  “4-H 101” Parent Orientation Program with parents

5. Module #1: Benefits of Positive Parent Involvement in 4-H Activities “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” Indiana 4-H Parent Resource Series for Extension Educators, Volunteers, and Parents Compiled by Steve McKinley, Extension Specialist, Leadership & Volunteerism “Parents and members learn together – the excitement of mutual discovery.”

6. Objective: Explain the benefits of positive parent involvement in 4-H activities. Questions to answer: Why should parents be an active part of the 4-H Program? What benefits are gained as a result of positive parent involvement in 4-H activities?

7. Benefits to 4-H Members  Members gain support and confidence from working with interested adults.  Members are able to participate with their parents in a common interest helping 4-H to be a family affair.  Members receive more individual attention and guidance.  Parents with positive, enthusiastic attitudes are contagious. They create the same attitude in the club members.

8. Benefits to Parents  Parents help their children learn and grow.  Parents share experiences with their children.  Parents improve relationships with their children.  Parents make a contribution to youth in the community.

9. Benefits to Parents  Parents get to know their children’s friends.  Parents make new friends and acquaintances within the community.  4-H provides an atmosphere in which parents can show love and concern for their children by maintaining an interest in their activities and helping them to meet their goals.

10. Benefits to 4-H Volunteers  Volunteers are able to delegate jobs to responsible parents to allow the volunteers time for development of additional club events.  Volunteers will be able to more effectively reach each member with a positive adult influence.  Volunteers will experience greater satisfaction from watching parent/child relations grow within the 4-H Club setting.

11. Benefits to 4-H Clubs  The 4-H Club is strengthened, larger, and more active.  More club activities may be offered and expanded.  Favorable Attitudes + Parent Interests + Active Parent Cooperation = Successful 4-H Clubs

12. Module #2: Methods to Gain 4-H Parent Support “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” Indiana 4-H Parent Resource Series for Extension Educators, Volunteers, and Parents Compiled by Steve McKinley, Extension Specialist, Leadership & Volunteerism “If I participate in planning a program, I will work harder to make it a success.”

13. Objective: Identify methods to gain parent support. Question to answer: How can volunteers gain the support of parents?

14. Background  North Carolina Survey of 458 parents: 3/4 were willing to help with 4-H, but only 1/8 to 1/2 of the parents actually did. The most common response parents gave when asked why they did not help with 4-H was, “nobody asked me.”  Parents need to be asked to assist with the 4-H Program. And, they need specific information related to the task at hand.

15. Methods to gain parent support  Ask! Many parents are willing to help but are unaware that they are needed or wanted.  Become acquainted with the parents.  Find out where they would like to help - determine parent interests and abilities by having them complete a short questionnaire (e.g., 4-H Parent Interest Survey)

16. Methods to gain parent support  Be specific about the requests that you make of the parents, including tasks and time involved.  Invite parents to a special meeting at the beginning of the 4-H year Inform them of general 4-H procedures Introduce them to the volunteer leadership and other parents Request the parents’ assistance

17. Methods to gain parent support  Keep parents informed of upcoming activities and events Send newsletters, information sheets, calls, e- mails, etc.  Let parents know the expectations of them and their children as 4-H members.  Encourage parents to attend 4-H Club Meetings.  Recognize members and their parents.

18. Methods to gain parent support  Lead a 4-H Scavenger Hunt at one of the early meetings with parents and children, using the local 4-H program book as a source for the questions and answers.  Conduct at least one family activity with the 4-H Club (e.g., pitch-in dinner, picnic, challenge relay games, etc.)  Involve parents in meaningful activities so they can see the value in their assistance.

19. Roadblocks to parent support  Lack of communication  Lack of understanding of 4-H program Do not understand educational value of program or program objectives Consider 4-H as recreation or babysitting service

20. Overcome roadblocks with…  Clear communications  Avoiding last-minute requests  Support and assistance  Encouragement  Thank you’s

21. Module #3: Roles 4-H Parents Can Perform in the 4-H Program “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” Indiana 4-H Parent Resource Series for Extension Educators, Volunteers, and Parents Compiled by Steve McKinley, Extension Specialist, Leadership & Volunteerism “I am more eager to do my share if others are also helping, if I have chosen it, and if it fits my time and skill.”

22. Objective: Identify roles parents can perform in the 4-H Program. Question to answer: What roles can parents perform within the 4-H Program?

23. Parent Roles in 4-H  Help, cooperate, and smile often!  Offer your time & services to assist the 4-H Club volunteer. You have knowledge, skills, and abilities that are needed in 4-H.  Attend 4-H meetings to provide assistance with crowd control.  Pick up and/or drop off your own children and other members – on time!  Consider helping with the operation of the 4-H Club.

24. Parent Roles in 4-H  Serve on committees to help plan and conduct events.  Share your expertise in projects with club members.  Share ideas for possible future programs.  Help secure other qualified adults to assist with projects and activities.

25. Parent Roles in 4-H  Serve as a judge for an event.  Support the 4-H Program in the community.  Promote 4-H among friends and acquaintances.  Provide refreshments.  Encourage accurate and complete record-keeping.

26. Parent Roles in 4-H  Read the information sent to your home about 4-H to keep up-to-date on activities.  Know that “help” is guidance and support; “do with” rather than “do for”.  Follow expectations of a 4-H parent (see next module).  Consider volunteer service in the 4-H program. Applications are available in the County Extension Office.

27. Module #4: Expectations of 4-H Parents “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” Indiana 4-H Parent Resource Series for Extension Educators, Volunteers, and Parents Compiled by Steve McKinley, Extension Specialist, Leadership & Volunteerism “Extension educators and local leaders may kindle the flame in youth, but it takes the good will and help of parents to keep the fire burning."

28. Objective: List expectations of 4-H parents. Question to answer: What are the expectations of parents within the 4-H Program?

29. Expectations of 4-H Parents  Make a sincere effort to have your children at 4-H Club meetings and activities.  Pick up your children from 4-H Club meetings and activities promptly.  Advise your children in selecting 4-H projects that are appropriate for them.  Learn about 4-H with your children.

30. Expectations of 4-H Parents  Keep informed about 4-H through information that comes to members of your family.  Help your children learn responsibility by encouraging them to complete their 4-H projects.  Be a guide, advisor, teacher, and counselor to your children as they work on 4-H projects and activities …BUT, don’t do the job for them.

31. Expectations of 4-H Parents  Be a good example! Help your children be good sports and appreciate the successes of others.  Encourage your children when they succeed & even more when they fail. Help them see progress; not just the end result. Children will gain confidence and a sense of security when they know their parents approve of their work.

32. Expectations of 4-H Parents  Help children learn to make choices and decisions.  Help children understand their capabilities and reach their potential.  Support your 4-H Club with your time and talents. Be a positive, active parental influence.

33. Module #5: 4-H Parents, Volunteers, and Extension Staff Working Together “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” Indiana 4-H Parent Resource Series for Extension Educators, Volunteers, and Parents Compiled by Steve McKinley, Extension Specialist, Leadership & Volunteerism “Every member needs significant other adults as he grows up."

34. Objective: Share methods to help Parents, 4-H Volunteers, and Extension Staff work together. Question to answer: How can parents, 4-H Volunteers, and Extension Staff work together more effectively?

35. Importance of Parent Involvement to Volunteers and Extension Staff  Understand the benefits of parent involvement to the members, parents, volunteers, and overall 4-H Club program.  Establish a mind-set that positive parent involvement is preferred to no or negative parent involvement.  Work to involve parents more fully in the 4-H Program.

36. Ask parents:  For their consent when their child first joins 4-H.  To meet occasionally to discuss the club’s program.  To attend club meetings whenever possible.  To identify their interests and abilities in helping with 4-H.  If they are interested in participating in a “Family Buddy System” so each new family has contact with an experienced 4-H family.

37. Keep parents informed about 4-H. Help them understand…  The basic 4-H objectives and benefits to youth.  The essential elements of positive youth development.  Opportunities available through 4-H.  Expectations of 4-H members.  Names of 4-H Volunteers and Extension Staff.

38. Keep parents informed about 4-H. Help them understand…  Materials and resources needed for project completion.  Financial costs of 4-H participation.  Time, date, and location of 4-H meetings and activities.  Methods used to promote 4-H and club activities to parents.

39. Involve parents:  Invite them to club events; be sure they know they are welcome.  Provide them with opportunities to assume responsibilities within the club.  Provide those interested in volunteering with a task description that lists all of the things that need to be done.

40. Involve parents:  Use a rotation system so that no one person or family carries the majority of the workload.  Express appreciation for their assistance publicly and privately.  Provide opportunities for parents to offer constructive feedback and suggestions on the 4-H program.

41. Module #6: Types of Parents “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” Indiana 4-H Parent Resource Series for Extension Educators, Volunteers, and Parents Compiled by Steve McKinley, Extension Specialist, Leadership & Volunteerism “Your pleasant presence matters quite a lot."

42. Objective: Describe four general types of parents. Questions to answer: What are four general types of parents? How can we help all types of parents participate in the 4-H program?

43. Types of Parents  Parents can be classified into four general types: Balanced Overindulgent Overstrict Unconcerned

44. Balanced Parents…  Share planning, decision making and home project work with their children.  Encourage 4-H to become part of the family.  Teach their children the self-discipline necessary to do 4-H projects.

45. Balanced Parents…  Use a kind but firm hand.  Need less guidance than some of the other types, but want to be constantly informed of any new developments, projects or activities that are available.  Are more concerned with the educational value of 4-H than with the specific award the member’s project receives.

46. Overindulgent Parents…  Protect and pamper their children.  Have boys and girls who join 4-H only because their parents think it will be good for them.  Frequently do much of the project work and record keeping for their 4-H members.

47. Overindulgent Parents…  Find it easier to do the work than to guide and teach their children the self-discipline necessary to complete the work.  Have children who may lack initiative.  Hinder the development of their child’s imagination and creativity.

48. Overstrict Parents…  Are the fault-finders who give very little constructive criticism and no praise.  Frequently force adult standards on their youngsters, making it impossible for the 4-H’er to succeed.  Have children who may be insecure, frustrated or rebellious and may not complete the project for fear of it not being “good enough.”

49. Unconcerned Parents…  Give their children no encouragement.  Have children who tend not to join clubs at all, or if they do, they become only “members.”  Have members who, if they start a project, seldom finish it because of the lack of guidance or enthusiasm at home.

50. Unconcerned Parents…  Should be contacted frequently and kept informed of their child’s progress.  Need to be encouraged to find some areas in which they can develop an interest in the child’s work.

51. Challenge to Parents:  Why did you want your child to join 4-H? If it is to win, you will be disappointed. If it is so your child can learn and become involved in a worthwhile activity, you will be satisfied.  Recognition comes with doing the best your child can do.  Be a supportive parent and help your child and 4-H volunteer to “Make the Best Better!”  Remember…the development of your child is more important than your ego!

52. Challenge to Volunteers and Extension Staff:  Each type of parent is different and each will require various ways to be involved positively.  Consider each child and each parent in the light of individual differences as you set up the 4-H Program and ask for parental involvement.

53. Module #7: Recognizing Parent Contributions to the 4-H Program “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” Indiana 4-H Parent Resource Series for Extension Educators, Volunteers, and Parents Compiled by Steve McKinley, Extension Specialist, Leadership & Volunteerism “Parents need support and opportunities to continue learning as their children grow.”

54. Objective: Identify methods to recognize the contributions of parents to the 4-H Program. Questions to answer: Why is it important to recognize parent contributions? What methods can be used to recognize parents?

55. Importance of Recognition  Parent contributions to 4-H are an important part of the success of the overall program.  Everyone likes to be recognized, including the parents who are a part of your program.  Recognizing parents takes a little time, but it can produce great rewards!

56. Methods to Recognize Parents  Be creative.  Don’t forget the simple things.  Involve program participants in the recognition. Parents like to know that those who they are serving appreciate their efforts. The participants may have very innovative ideas for how to recognize parents.

57. Methods to Recognize Parents  Encourage members to say “thank you” to their parents for their help.  Hold a “Parent Appreciation Night” Include refreshments or a meal prepared by members. Include talent by members. Have members present certificates or small 4-H favors in appreciation of their parents’ help.  Include parents’ names in 4-H newsletters and news stories.

58. Methods to Recognize Parents  Recognize parents along with their children for 4-H accomplishments at 4-H Achievement Programs.  Have a roll call that asks members to complete the following sentence when their name is called: “I’m proud of my (parent) because…”  Hold special family-related club events such as canoe trip, campout, cook-out, family share-the-fun night, etc.

59. Methods to Recognize Parents  Provide child care services for younger children of 4-H parents during the time they are helping with the 4-H Club program.  Arrange for discounts or coupons redeemable to local businesses for parents who help.  Write thank-you notes, send cards, or send e-mails to express appreciation for parental support.

60. Methods to Recognize Parents  Personalize the recognition. Certificates or plaques with the parent’s name (spelled correctly) Recognition gift that is meaningful to the individual parent  Plan a recognition edition of a club newsletter.  Place a phone call to a parent who has been particularly instrumental in a program.

61. Methods to Recognize Parents  Offer a “Parents’ Night Out” for those who volunteer with the program (and utilize older 4-H members to help care for any young children).  Invite selected parents to be guests of honor at each 4-H meeting.  Provide further opportunities for parents to offer their services to the 4-H Program.

62. Module #8: Additional Resources to Involve Parents in the 4-H Program “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” Indiana 4-H Parent Resource Series for Extension Educators, Volunteers, and Parents Compiled by Steve McKinley, Extension Specialist, Leadership & Volunteerism “The family is the setting in which 4-H occurs.”

63. Objective: Locate resources to help 4-H parents become positively and actively involved in the 4-H Program. Question to answer: What other resources are available to help involve parents in 4-H?

64. Parents’ 4-H Pledge I pledge my…  HEAD to give my child the information I can, to help him/her see things clearly and to make wise decisions.  HEART to encourage and support my child no matter whether he/she has successes or disappointments.  HANDS to help my child's club; if I cannot be a volunteer, I can help in many equally important ways.  HEALTH to keep my child strong and well for a better world through 4-H, for my child's club, our community, our country, and our world.

65. Parents’ Anti-4-H Pledge I pledge my…  HEAD to force my ideas on others whether they are welcome or not.  HEART to meet my needs over the needs of others.  HANDS to do the work for my kids so they will be a positive reflection of me.  HEALTH to self-righteous living because I know what is best for my club, my community, my country, and my world.

66. "Ten Commandments for Parents"  "Doing the right thing" as a parent isn't always easy. However, the following list of "Ten Commandments" can act as a guide for parents when it comes to teaching their children about the responsibilities of raising and showing animals. (Written for livestock, but applicable to all projects!)

67. "Ten Commandments for Parents"  Thou shalt not feed, train, and care for the animal, for thou art trying to teach the child responsibility;  Thou shalt forgive a child for making mistakes in the show ring, for thou hath made mistakes too;  Thou shalt not get mad when thy child forgets items in the show box, for one day thou may forget the show box;  Thou shalt help the show management for they are doing a job that thou would not want to do;  Thou shalt see that thy child is on time for all show activities for thou would not want to wait on another;

68. "Ten Commandments for Parents"  Thou shalt be sure that thy child has the animals entered and the registration papers in order by the designated time;  Thou shalt teach the child that winning a blue ribbon is a desirable goal, but making friends along the way is a more worthy goal;  Thou shalt not complain about the judge for it is their opinion that has been sought;  Thou shalt remember that livestock projects are teaching projects, not necessarily money-making projects; and  Thou shalt remember that the livestock project is a family project that shall be enjoyed and supported by the entire family.

69. Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DO take time to learn about 4-H, what it stands for and how it operates.  DO advise your son or daughter in selecting 4-H projects. Help them select a project they are interested in, have the ability to accomplish and is one for which you can help furnish needed materials, facilities, financing and guidance.

70. Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DO show your interest and enthusiasm for the 4-H projects selected. Find out what is suggested for members to do and learn. Encourage your child to work on the project and record keeping all year long, and not to wait until the last minute.  DO encourage your child to participate in county and state events, such as public presentations, camp, fair, workshops and other activities.

71. Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DO keep the purpose of the 4-H project in perspective. Realize that a project is simply a teaching tool and a method for involving boys and girls in a worthwhile activity. Above all, remember that your child is more important than the 4-H project.  DO give encouragement when your 4-H’er succeeds and even more when he/she fails. Judging and awards are not final exams. Whatever ratings are given or scores received, help your child to see progress made, things that have been learned, and goals that have been reached.

72. Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DO keep in mind that the most important goal of 4-H is personal growth of the individual.  DO volunteer to share your hobbies and talents with 4-H members.  DO be tactful—with 4-H volunteers, educators, judges, and your child.  DO remember that 4-H volunteers and judges are often volunteering their own time for the benefit of your child; don’t forget to show them your appreciation.  DO ask questions!

73. Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DON’T do your child’s project for them, even though you may be able to do it faster, better, simpler and with much less mess.  DON’T discourage a child’s enthusiasm by providing too much corrective influence or criticism.  DON’T let the desire to win overpower your child’s ability to learn. Do keep in mind that the 4-H experience should be an educational one.

74. Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DON’T schedule family vacations which conflict with your child’s 4-H schedule.  DON’T re-live your childhood experiences through your child.  DON’T view your child as an extension of yourself. Don’t view his/her success or failure as a reflection of your ability or worth.  DON’T assume your child is always right (or always wrong).

75. Other 4-H Parent Resources  4-H Parent (Home Helper) Position Description  4-H Parent Interest Survey  Dig-in Form for 4-H Parents/Guardians  4-H Parent’s Window of Work  4-H Parent’s/Guardian’s Pledge

76. Parent Resource Reference List  NOTE: A number of resources are available to provide support to volunteers and parents regarding parent involvement in 4-H. These documents are available on the w:\ drive unless otherwise noted. Bovitz, L.K. (2004, November). “4-H Parent’s/Guardian’s Pledge.” Seminar conducted at National Association of Extension 4-H Agents, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. “4-H Parent Interest Survey.” Mississippi State University Cooperative Extension Service.

77. Parent Resource Reference List “Involving Parents in 4-H,” 4-H Volunteer Leaders’ Series, University of Arkansas Extension. http://www.uaex.edu/Other_Areas/publi cations/HTML/4- H_Volunteer_Leaders_Series/4HCG1.asp http://www.uaex.edu/Other_Areas/publi cations/HTML/4- H_Volunteer_Leaders_Series/4HCG1.asp McKinley, S. (2005). “4-H Handbook Scavenger Hunt”. Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana. “National Volunteer Week Web site”. University of Illinois Extension. http://www.4- h.uiuc.edu/events/volweek.html http://www.4- h.uiuc.edu/events/volweek.html

78. Parent Resource Reference List Osborne, L.J. (2004, November). “Plan to Involve Parents.” Seminar conducted at 2004 North Central Region Volunteer Forum, Indianapolis, Indiana. “Parents Anti-4-H Pledge”, source unknown “Parents 4-H Pledge”, source unknown Potter, T. (2003, June). “Dig-in Form for Parents,” Involving 4-H Parents. Government of Alberta.

79. Parent Resource Reference List Powell, G. (1994). “The Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent,” New Jersey 4-H Leader Training Series. Rutgers University. http://www.rce.rutgers.edu/pubs/pdfs/4 h/e148/209-212.pdf http://www.rce.rutgers.edu/pubs/pdfs/4 h/e148/209-212.pdf Purdue University, State 4-H Youth Development Program. (Revised 2004, April). “4-H Parent (Home Helper) Position Description.” West Lafayette, Indiana.

80. Parent Resource Reference List Purdue University, State 4-H Youth Development Program. (2001, June). “Parents,” Indiana 4-H Leader Guide. (4-H 685-W). West Lafayette, Indiana. Smith, B.A. (1998). “4-H Parent’s Window of Work.” Rutgers University. “Ten Commandments for 4-H Parents”, source unknown

81. Completion Questionnaire  10 questions related to the 8 modules in the “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” series.  Educators, volunteers, and parents are invited to complete the questions.  Questionnaire provided in a separate file.

82. Questions & Answers related to “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?”

83. “4-H 101” Parent Orientation Meeting

84. Resources for Presenters  Flyer template  Complete Agenda  Sign-up sheet  Registration Form  Lesson Plan  PowerPoint presentation and notes

85. Parent Meeting Packet Content List  Cover Letter  Agenda  “4-H 101” Mixer  “The Top 10 Things Every 4-H Parent Should Know” PowerPoint slides  The 4-H Family Tree  What Should Parents Expect from 4-H Club Leaders?

86. Parent Meeting Packet Content List  4-H Parent (Home Helper) Position Description  4-H Parent Interest Survey  Dig-in Form for 4-H Parents/Guardians  4-H Parent’s Window of Work  4-H Parent’s/Guardian’s Pledge

87. Parent Meeting Packet Content List  4-H Handbook Scavenger Hunt  Local 4-H Program Resources  “4-H 101” Parent Orientation Meeting Evaluation

88. “The Top 10 Things Every 4-H Parent Should Know” PowerPoint presentation to include in “4-H 101” Parent Orientation Meeting

89. Questions and Answers related to “4-H 101” Parent Orientation Meeting

90. Thank you for your participation and for your work with 4-H Parents!