1. NEU School of Business & Administration 1/Chapter 5 Practice revising the letter which you drafted to Mr. Obama to make it complete. Bear in mind the SOFAR strategy Take into account comments of your colleagues CASE: LETTER TO MR OBAMA

2. Chapter 5 Revise (Cohesive)

3. NEU School of Business & Administration 3/Chapter 5 Objective Be able to revise your paragraphs and make them cohesive.

4. NEU School of Business & Administration 4/Chapter 5 Cohesive? What does cohesive mean? Cohesive: when all parts are related to form a whole.

5. NEU School of Business & Administration 5/Chapter 5 Make paragraphs cohesive by learning two things: –define a cohesive paragraph –write a cohesive paragraph using a topic sentence supporting sentences transitions.

6. NEU School of Business & Administration 6/Chapter 5 Being Cohesive: What Is a Cohesive Paragraph? –Look at the following letter. –In Chapter 4, you revised it to make it complete. –But something is still wrong. Define a cohesive paragraph

7. NEU School of Business & Administration 7/Chapter 5 Dear Ms Green PPS I refer to your recent communication, and for your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date. If you complete and return the form to us, we can process your application immediately. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely Clever Man

8. NEU School of Business & Administration 8/Chapter 5 It only has one paragraph The paragraph is very long There are several unrelated ideas in the paragraph The paragraph in this letter is not cohesive. What is a cohesive paragraph?

9. NEU School of Business & Administration 9/Chapter 5 A cohesive paragraphA cohesive paragraph is: 1) one long sentence containing many unrelated ideas or subjects. 2) a group of unrelated sentences containing many unrelated ideas or subjects. 3) a group of sentences related to one another by a single idea or subject. 4) one long sentence containing one idea or subject. What is a cohesive paragraph?

10. NEU School of Business & Administration 10/Chapter 5 A paragraph is a group of sentences related to one another by a single subject or idea. Remember: –One paragraph, one idea. –Begin a new paragraph each time you introduce a new idea. What is a cohesive paragraph?

11. NEU School of Business & Administration 11/Chapter 5 Dear Ms Green PPS I refer to your recent communication, and for your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date. If you complete and return the form to us, we can process your application immediately. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely Clever Man

12. NEU School of Business & Administration 12/Chapter 5 Dear Ms Green PPS I refer to your recent communication. For your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date. If you complete and return the form to us, we can process your application immediately. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely Clever Man

13. NEU School of Business & Administration 13/Chapter 5 Now there are four paragraphs. Each of these paragraphs contains one sentence. You can have only one sentence in a paragraph. a paragraph usually contains more than one sentenceHowever, a paragraph usually contains more than one sentence. What is a cohesive paragraph?

14. NEU School of Business & Administration 14/Chapter 5 Exercise:Exercise: –The ten sentences below all describe a market. –Look at the sentences –Answer the questions. (Rule: New idea, new paragraph)

15. NEU School of Business & Administration 15/Chapter 5 1)The building between Hennessey Road and Lockhart Road is the market. 2)It was built in 1875. 3)The market sells fresh food, like fish. 4)It also sells fruit. 5)It also sells vegetables. 6)It used to sell meat. 7)Meat is now sold in the supermarket. 8)The market is open seven days a week. 9)It is open from 7 am to 1 pm and then again from 4 pm to 8 pm. 10)It is closed during the New Year Holiday.

16. NEU School of Business & Administration 16/Chapter 5 Question 1:Question 1: –If you were writing an essay on the subject of the market using these sentences, how many paragraphs do you need? Question 2:Question 2: −What would be the main ideas of each of these paragraphs?

17. NEU School of Business & Administration 17/Chapter 5 P1.P1. The building between Hennessey Road and Lockhart Road is the market. It was built in 1875. −P1 talks about the building: where it's located and when it was built. It doesn't talk about anything else.

18. NEU School of Business & Administration 18/Chapter 5 P2.P2. The market sells fresh food, like fish. It also sells fruit. It also sells vegetables. It used to sell meat. Meat is now sold in the supermarket. −P2 talks about the different kinds of food that were sold and are sold now.

19. NEU School of Business & Administration 19/Chapter 5 P3.P3. The market is open seven days a week. It is open from 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. and then again from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. It is closed during the New Year Holiday. −P3 talks about the opening times.

20. NEU School of Business & Administration 20/Chapter 5 A cohesive paragraph is a group of sentences all related to one idea. The three things that can help make each paragraph you write cohesive – a topic sentence – supporting sentences – transitions Write a cohesive paragraph

21. NEU School of Business & Administration 21/Chapter 5 Topic Sentence In this section, learn two things: – What a topic sentence is? – What a topic sentence does?

22. NEU School of Business & Administration 22/Chapter 5 Topic Sentence The topic sentence is – usually the first sentence of the paragraph – short, with only 7 to 10 words – the most general sentence in the paragraph.

23. NEU School of Business & Administration 23/Chapter 5 Topic Sentence Look at the following example of a topic sentence. –Our Home Mortgage Loan eases the stress of buying property. –Our terms are very competitive. –The flexible repayment schedule enables you to budget your expenses. –In addition, it gives you a clear picture of your financial commitment for the whole period.

24. NEU School of Business & Administration 24/Chapter 5 Our Home Mortgage Loan eases the stress of buying property. –is the first sentence of the paragraph –has only 10 words –contains general information; the other sentences contain specific information. Topic Sentence

25. NEU School of Business & Administration 25/Chapter 5 Topic Sentence What Does a Topic Sentence Do? –The topic sentence: summarises the main idea helps the reader predict what the paragraph is about.

26. NEU School of Business & Administration 26/Chapter 5 Topic Sentence Our Home Mortgage Loan eases the stress of buying property. –summarises –summarises the main idea, i.e. that a Home Mortgage Loan eases the stress of buying property –suggests –suggests the rest of the paragraph will describe how the Loan eases the stress.

27. NEU School of Business & Administration 27/Chapter 5 Topic Sentence Exercise 1 –Each group of sentences could form a paragraph if they were re-organised. –Try to identify the topic sentence.

28. NEU School of Business & Administration 28/Chapter 5 a. Your staff need to feel that you value their work. b. As a team leader, you face several challenges. c. Staff also want to be treated as individuals. d. In addition, you need to make them aware of the team's work. e. Through your actions, you must earn their respect. b b introduces the idea of a team leader's challenges, the other sentences list some of these challenges.

29. NEU School of Business & Administration 29/Chapter 5 a. Everyone also knows in what areas they need to improve. b. Finally, everyone knows what is expected of them in the future. c. In addition, everyone knows how they can improve. d. A good appraisal system produces four results. e. Everyone is aware of their achievements. d d introduces the idea of a good appraisal system saying there are four results. The other sentences list the four results.

30. NEU School of Business & Administration 30/Chapter 5 a. Inflation seems to be on the rise. b. Every day the newspaper brings more bad news. c. Older people are worried about their pension schemes. d. Major department stores are closing down. e. The unemployment figures are rising. b b introduces the statement that newspapers bring bad news. The other sentences list some examples.

31. NEU School of Business & Administration 31/Chapter 5 Topic Sentence Exercise 2 –The topic sentence is missing. Write a topic sentence that introduces the subject of the paragraph summarises the main idea of the paragraph.

32. NEU School of Business & Administration 32/Chapter 5 Topic Sentence Problems in service. a. First, phones are answered too slowly. b. Second, customers are put on hold too frequently. c. Third, messages are not taken down accurately. There are three major problems with our telephone answering service

33. NEU School of Business & Administration 33/Chapter 5 Topic Sentence We can not agree on your request. a. Our records show that your income has been irregular. b. We also note that your overdraft limit has been reached. c. Moreover, your other personal loan has not been fully repaid Unfortunately, we are unable to grant you another loan

34. NEU School of Business & Administration 34/Chapter 5 What Does a Supporting Sentence Do? –Supporting sentences support the main idea by expanding or developing the main idea explaining, e.g. identifying causes, effects, etc. providing specific details. –Remember: –Remember: Supporting sentences must be related to the main idea. Supporting Sentence

35. NEU School of Business & Administration 35/Chapter 5 Supporting Sentence Look at the example paragraph again –Our Home Mortgage Loan eases the stress of buying property. –Our terms are very competitive. –The flexible repayment schedule enables you to budget your expenses. –In addition, it gives you a clear picture of your financial commitment for the whole period.

36. NEU School of Business & Administration 36/Chapter 5 Supporting Sentence Notice the supporting sentences –develop the main idea by continuing to talk about the Home Mortgage Loan –explain how the loan can ease the stress of buying a property –provide specific details.

37. NEU School of Business & Administration 37/Chapter 5 Our Home Mortgage Loan eases the stress of buying property. Our terms are very competitive. The flexible repayment schedule enables you to budget your expenses. In addition, it gives you a clear picture of your financial commitment for the whole period.

38. NEU School of Business & Administration 38/Chapter 5 Supporting Sentence Remember: –Include only 1-5 supporting sentences in a paragraph –Each supporting sentence must be related to the main idea.

39. NEU School of Business & Administration 39/Chapter 5 Exercise 1: –In each of the paragraphs that follow, there is a sentence that doesn't belong. –Try to find it out a. Most people know that coffee contains caffeine. b. Few people realise that tea also contains caffeine. c. Many soft drinks, such as cola, contain caffeine as well. d. Diet soft drinks contain fewer calories than regular soft drinks. D discusses a different idea. The paragraph is about "caffeine"; the fourth sentence is about "calories"

40. NEU School of Business & Administration 40/Chapter 5 a. The company has become very selective in recruiting. b. All executives must now be university graduates. c. They will also receive an enhanced benefits package. d. In addition they need to demonstrate computer skills. e. Finally, they are required to pass an English test. C does not support the idea that the company has become selective with its recruiting.

41. NEU School of Business & Administration 41/Chapter 5 Exercise 2 –Look at the two topic sentences below. –Write two or three sentences that support the main idea. I recommend that Larry Grafton be promoted. He has performed well throughout the year. Moreover, he shows potential beyond his present position.

42. NEU School of Business & Administration 42/Chapter 5 To finalize the details of the staff party, I would like some more information. Could you please tell me the exact number of guests and the seating arrangements? I would also like to know if you would prefer a Chinese menu or an English menu.

43. NEU School of Business & Administration 43/Chapter 5 What Are Transitions? –Link sentences together –Show the relationships between sentences. Transitions

44. NEU School of Business & Administration 44/Chapter 5 Read the following paragraph, which has NO transitions. –The customer had proper identification. –Her records showed that her account was overdrawn. –She didn't have a pre-arranged overdraft facility. –The counter service officer couldn't make the withdrawal for her.

45. NEU School of Business & Administration 45/Chapter 5 Transitions Different Types Of Transitions –Look at the paragraph again –Three types of transitions are used. The customer had proper identification. However, her records showed that her account was overdrawn. In addition, she didn't have a pre-arranged overdraft facility. Therefore, the counter service officer couldn't make the withdrawal for her.

46. NEU School of Business & Administration 46/Chapter 5 Transitions The use of However signals a change in direction. –It suggests a comparison / contrast. –If a customer has the proper identification, you would expect everything okay. However –But everything is not okay and the word However tells you this.

47. NEU School of Business & Administration 47/Chapter 5 In addition tells you of the other problem (i.e., no overdraft facility). –It highlights the fact that there are two problems The customer's account is overdrawn The customer has no overdraft facility. –The transition also shows you that these two problems are of equal importance. Transitions

48. NEU School of Business & Administration 48/Chapter 5 Therefore draws your attention to the cause and effect relationship. –The two problems were the cause. –The final effect was that the counter service officer was unable to make the withdrawal for the customer. Transitions

49. NEU School of Business & Administration 49/Chapter 5 Five types of transitions are listed with some examples. When you want toyou can use Transition category Give specific examples For example, Such as, To illustrate, Namely Example Show the sequence of actions or events, giving instructions First, Then, Finally, Earlier Sequence Introduce additional information of equal importance In addition, Also, Moreover, Likewise Furthermore, Similarly, Equal weight Show similarities or differences However, Yet, On the other hand, But Comparison/ Contrast Show results of actions Therefore, As a result, So, Consequently Cause-effect

50. NEU School of Business & Administration 50/Chapter 5 In the previous screen, you saw how to use three types of transitions: –comparison / contrast However –equal weight In addition –cause-effect Therefore Transitions

51. NEU School of Business & Administration 51/Chapter 5 Look at the following sentence See how the other two categories of transitions are used. Then you can write an opening sentence, such as, "Thank you for your letter of 14 February 2010,"... –Then gives an instruction for the next action. –Such as tells you that an example of an opening sentence is about to follow.

52. NEU School of Business & Administration 52/Chapter 5 What do Transitions do? – Transitions make a paragraph cohesive by linking the sentences together smoothly showing the relationship between sentences helping us move quickly between ideas. – They show the reader where we've been and where we're going with our writing. Transitions

53. NEU School of Business & Administration 53/Chapter 5 Exercise 1Exercise 1 choose the most suitable transitions. Nancy is very busy. She wants to go home but she has to telephone a long list of new customers to confirm their orders. ________, she has to write many e-mails. ________, she will have to stay late at the office. _______, when she's finished, she will go home. A. In addition, Consequently, Later B. If, Therefore, Besides C. Then, Finally, Again D. Then, For instance, Later

54. NEU School of Business & Administration 54/Chapter 5 There will be an important company meeting this weekend. All the Directors will be there. _____, all the Senior Managers will be there. We will discuss new business developments on Saturday. ____, on Sunday, we will look at new business strategies. _____, the Chairman will address everyone and give a speech in the evening before dinner. A. Later, Finally, Consequently B. In addition, Then, Finally C. Later, So, Consequently D. However, Before, For example

55. NEU School of Business & Administration 55/Chapter 5 Life is full of difficult questions. ______, what would you do if you suddenly had an accident? _______, what if the accident prevented you from working? Maybe everything would be fine without HSBC insurance. _______, for just a few dollars each month, you could provide your family with complete peace of mind. A. Also, In fact, On the other hand B. Nevertheless, However, To illustrate C. For example, Moreover, On the other hand D. First, Then, For example

56. NEU School of Business & Administration 56/Chapter 5 Exercise 2Exercise 2 In each of the sentences below, the transitions are missing, unnecessary or incorrect. Correct each sentence. We sell insurance. We sell investment products. We sell insurance. We also sell investment products. (missing transition)

57. NEU School of Business & Administration 57/Chapter 5 Our advertising budget has increased over the last quarter. Sales have not increased. Our advertising budget has increased over the last quarter. However, sales have not increased. (missing transition) Remove either "although" or "but" (unnecessary transition) Although, I wanted to go to the seminar, but I didn't have the time.

58. NEU School of Business & Administration 58/Chapter 5 Since Mr. Jones was on sick leave, so the meeting was cancelled. Remove either "since" or "so" (unnecessary transition) Due to Mr Lewis arrived late, the meeting did not start on time. Since Mr Lewis arrived late, the meeting did not start on time. Replace "due to" with "since" - (incorrect transition)

59. NEU School of Business & Administration 59/Chapter 5 Summary In this chapter you learned how to define a cohesive paragraph. –A cohesive paragraph is a group of sentences related to one another by a single idea or subject.

60. NEU School of Business & Administration 60/Chapter 5 topic topic sentences sentences Supporting transitions summarise the main idea help the reader predict what the chapter is about expand or develop the main idea explain (identify causes, effects) provide specific details link sentences together show the relationship between sentences help the reader move quickly between ideas <= 5 sentences 7-10 words Summary

61. NEU School of Business & Administration 61/Chapter 5 Summary Remember:Remember: –When you revise your paragraphs to make them cohesive, you need only one idea in each paragraph a topic sentence supporting sentences that support the main idea transitions that link the sentences together

62. NEU School of Business & Administration 62/Chapter 5 CASE CASE : LETTER TO MR OBAMA Revise your letter to Mr. Obama again. Try to make the paragraphs cohesive.

63. NEU School of Business & Administration 63/Chapter 5 CASE CASE : LETTER TO MR OBAMA Hints:Hints: –If a paragraph is cohesive, it has a short topic sentence supporting sentences transitions

64. NEU School of Business & Administration 64/Chapter 5