1. Rise Above the Difficult Customer: Serving While Earning Respect Christopher Gill, Director, ITS Project Management & Planning, Gonzaga University Marilu Goodyear, Professor and ECAR Fellow, University of Kansas

2. Three aspects to the response Focus on specifics of “What Happened?” Focus on feelings Yours Theirs (identity maybe challenged)

3. What Happened? Explore the story It is not about who is right, learn to sidestep Seek data--Can you tell me more about why you believe that? Resist the temptation to assign intent Focus on feelings behind Research on customer satisfaction shows: How you treat someone is more important than getting it right High satisfaction accompanies respect for the service provider

4. Feelings are at the core In order to do a good job you must feel respected You must “own” your feelings Your feelings are as important as their feelings You must find a way of processing them Feelings are based on perceptions Perceptions are always subject to change, you can think your way to changed feelings

5. Important to Own Your Own Feelings Use ”I” statements Action: Neutral description of the actions/behavior Focus on specific observable facts Not traits Impact: Statement of the effects (can be both negative and positive) on others Outcome: Your (and others) feelings about the behavior and result for person

6. Blame and Contribution Avoid Discussions of Blame Focus on Contribution Problem-solving: You and me against the problem What contributed to this happening? When it is out of your control You are the “middle person.” Express regret and hopefulness about systems that are not designed for the user