1. Creating Positive Outcomes When Conflict Occurs COSA Professional Development Program Crowne Plaza Hotel October 5, 2012 Presented by Dr. Roger W. Sorochty, Vice President for Enrollment and Student Services, The University of Tulsa roger-sorochty@utulsa.edu

2. Purposes of the Program To understand the behaviors and “hot buttons” associated with conflict that can improve or worsen situations involving conflict To learn how to use the Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) to minimize destructive behaviors, maximize constructive behaviors, and manage one’s “hot buttons” for positive outcomes in conflict situations To describe how the CDP can be used in professional staff training and student leadership programs Provide attendees with a sample of the CDP-I results, reviewing them using the Development Guide, and discussing its application on their campuses Give attendees the chance to take the CDP-I for themselves

3. Conflict Any situation in which people have apparently incompatible goals, interests, principles or feelings

4. CDP Approach Focuses explicitly on specific behavioral responses to conflict, and how they might be changed Starts with the assumption that conflict is inevitable; it cannot, nor should it, be completely avoided The goal of successful conflict management is not its elimination, but to reduce its harmful effects and maximize its useful ones

5. Cognitive Conflict (Task- Oriented) Focuses on ideas, not personalities Can occur during times of creativity and productivity Affect is neutral, or positive Unrelated, or positively related, to group functioning

6. Affective Conflict (Personal) Focuses on people, not ideas Can occur at any time Affect is negative Negatively related to group functioning Can escalate rapidly

7. Path of Conflict Precipitating Event and/or Hot Buttons Initiate Conflict Constructive Responses Behaviors which keep conflict to a minimum Task-Focused Conflict (Cognitive) Focus on task and problem solving Positive effect Tension decreases Group functioning improves CONFLICT DE-ESCALATES Destructive Responses Behaviors which escalate or prolong conflict Person-Focused Conflict (Affective) Focused on personal Negative emotions (anger, frustration) Tension increases Group functioning decreases CONFLICT ESCALATES

8. Typical Outcomes of Constructive Responses Win-win solutions Open & honest communication of feelings Both parties’ needs are met Non-judgmental actions Not sticking adamantly to one position Actively resolving conflict (not allowing conflict to continue) Thoughtful responses (not impulsive) Team performance improves

9. Typical Outcomes of Destructive Responses Feelings of anger and frustration Judgmental actions Getting even and keeping score Other party does not have needs met Closed channels of communication Refusing to deal with issues Decreased self-confidence Tasks not completed Team performance decreases

10. Active and Passive Responses to Conflict Research has further demonstrated the usefulness of classifying conflict-related responses into two additional categories: Active Behaviors which involve overt responses, taking action, or making an effort. The outcome can be either constructive or destructive. Passive Behaviors which involve withholding a response, not taking action, or not making an effort. The outcome can be either constructive or destructive.

11. Conflict Response Categories Perspective Taking Creating Solutions Expressing Emotions Reaching Out Winning at All Costs Displaying Anger Demeaning Others Retaliating Reflective Thinking Delay Responding Adapting Avoiding Yielding Hiding Emotions Self Criticizing Constructive Destructive Passive Active

12. Active Constructive Responses Those in which the individual takes some overt action in response to the conflict or provocation, and as a result there is a beneficial effect on the course of conflict: Perspective Taking – Putting yourself in the other person’s position and trying to understand that person’s point of view. Creating Solutions – Brainstorming with the other person, asking questions, and trying to create solutions to the problem. Expressing Emotions – Talking honestly with the other person and expressing your thoughts and feelings. Reaching Out – Reaching out to the other person, making the first move, and trying to make amends.

13. Passive Constructive Responses Those in which the individual responds to the precipitating event in a less active way—in fact, some passive responses consist largely of the decision to refrain from some act—and as a result there is a beneficial effect on the course of the conflict: Reflective Thinking – Analyzing the situation, weighing the pros and cons, and thinking about the best response. Delay Responding – Waiting things out, letting matters settle down, or taking a “time out” when emotions are running high. Adapting – Staying flexible, and trying to make the best of the situation.

14. Active Destructive Responses Those in which the individual takes some overt action in response to the conflict or provocation, but which has a negative, destructive effect on the course of conflict: Winning at All Costs – Arguing vigorously for your own position and trying to win at all costs. Displaying Anger – Expressing anger, raising your voice, and using harsh, angry words. Demeaning Others – Laughing at the other person, ridiculing the other’s ideas, and using sarcasm. Retaliating – Obstructing the other person, retaliating against the other, and trying to get revenge.

15. Passive Destructive Responses Those in which the individual responds to the precipitating event in a less active way, or fails to act in some way: Avoiding – Avoiding or ignoring the other person, and acting distant and aloof. Yielding – Giving in to the other person in order to avoid further conflict. Hiding Emotions – concealing your true emotions even though feeling upset. Self-Criticizing – Replaying the incident over in your mind, and criticizing yourself for not handling it better.

16. CDP Hot Buttons People who, or situations which, may irritate you enough to provoke conflict by producing destructive responses The “hotter” the hot button, the more likely it is to produce: ◦ Strong negative emotions ◦ Feelings of personal provocation ◦ Automatic and impulsive responding ◦ Increased tension

17. Constructive Responses

18. Destructive Responses

19. Hot Buttons

20. Using the CDP in Staff Development and Student Leadership Programs A case study summary of utilizing the CDP-I with professional staff Followed by A case study summary of utilizing the CDP-I with student leaders

21. Professional Staff Case Study Summary CDP-I administered to professional Residence Life staff and then debriefed in a two hour program CDP-360 could also be used Goal was to identify 1 or 2 behaviors and Hot Buttons that, if addressed according to the CDP Development Guide, would enhance their ability to work together and with their residents

22. A Snapshot of TU’s Student Organizations 140+ active organizations including: Numerous honor societies including Phi Beta Kappa; Association of Black Collegians; American Chemical Society; Student Bar Association; TU Student Nurses Association; Amnesty International; Numerous fraternities and sororities; Habitat for Humanity; Angolan Student Association; Muslim Student Association; TU Big Brothers Big Sisters; Numerous Religious Groups, Music Organizations, Governing Bodies and Intramural Sports Teams

23. Student Leaders Case Study Summary CDP-I administered to students in a variety of leadership positions and then debriefed in a two hour program Goal was to identify 1 or 2 behaviors and Hot Buttons that, if addressed according to the CDP Development Guide, would enhance their ability to work with others in their organizations

24. Additional Ways to Use the CDP Campus Police/Security Officers HR Staff Development Program Offerings Counselors Working with Students Alumni and/or Volunteer Advisors

25. Turning Knowledge into Action After determining which behaviors and hot buttons one wishes to address, one uses pages 38 – 40 of the Development Guide to lay out an action plan One can also utilize other resources available from the Center for Conflict Dynamics

26. Selected Comments from Participants I learned that I’m not good at looking at situations from another’s perspective. I would delay my responses to avoid displaying anger or frustration and think about what to say. I can now recognize my “hot buttons” and I have the tools to approach those people & situations. Lessons learned can be applied to my career. It will help me work with the girls in my sorority where personal opinions often clash. What I learned will help me in my leadership role in a campus ministry.

27. Thank You & Questions