1. H OW TO S AY I T : U SING C ONCISE, S PECIFIC L ANGUAGE, T RANSITIONS, AND A CTIVE V ERBS UWC Writing Workshop Fall 2013

2. B EFORE W E D IVE I N … http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=4096 http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=4096 ( The Daily Show with Jon Stewart -watch for language-and a good laugh!)

3. W HAT DO THESE WORDS MEAN TO YOU ? Concise Language Specific Language Transitions

4. W HERE TO GO IF YOU WANT GUIDANCE ! A Writer’s Resource - “Editing for Clarity” (pgs. 417- 470, especially 459-468) Wordy Sentences Missing Words Mixed Construction Confusing Shifts Faulty Parallelisms Misplaced & Dangling Modifiers Coordination and Subordination Sentence Variety Active Verbs Appropriate Language The UWC Your Professor

5. W HAT IS C ONCISE /S PECIFIC L ANGUAGE ? Concise: expressing or covering much in few words; brief in form but comprehensive in scope Specific: having a special application, bearing, or reference; specifying, explicit, or definite; to state one’s specific purpose; concerned specifically with the item or subject named Language: a body of words and the systems for their use; common to a people who are of the same community or nation, the same geographical area, or the same cultural tradition

6. H OW CAN I BECOME CONCISE AND SPECIFIC IN MY WRITING ? AVOID… Doubling of Words (instead, choose one): Mutual agreement (agreement) Consensus of opinion (consensus) Whether or not (whether) Intensifiers, Qualifiers (instead, omit or give specific details): Very Extremely Really Definitely Formulaic Phrases (instead, use a one-word form or omit): For the purpose of (to) At this point in time (now) Due to the fact that (because) In the near future (soon)

7. H OW CAN I BECOME CONCISE AND SPECIFIC IN MY WRITING ? AVOID… Catch-all Terms (instead, omit wherever possible): Aspect Case Factor Padded Verbs (instead, use a one-word form): To have an expectation (to expect) To make an arrangement (to arrange) Unnecessary “to be” and “being” (instead, omit): The program is considered to be effective./The program is considered effective OR The program is effective because of the terrain being rough/because of the rough terrain

8. H OW CAN I BECOME CONCISE AND SPECIFIC IN MY WRITING ? AVOID… Passive Verbs (instead, use active voice-preferably with a personal subject): The beveling jig is said by most users to be faulty./Most users say the beveling jig is faulty. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/539/1/http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/539/1/ (Great site for writing in general!) Overuse of Relative Structures (“who,” “which,” “that”-instead, omit): It was Confucius who said…/Confucius said… I think that X is the case…/X is the case, as the evidence shows…

9. P RACTICE #1 Revise the sentences to state their meaning in fewer words. Avoid passive voice, needless repetition, and wordy phrases and clauses. The first sentence is not wordy and can serve as an example.

10. P RACTICE #2 Combine each sentence group into one concise sentence.

11. W HAT ARE T RANSITIONS ? Transitions work as glue that holds our ideas and our essay together. Transitions… Can help you establish logical connections between sentences, paragraphs, and sections of your papers Tell readers what to do with the information you present to them Function as signs for readers that tell them how to think about, organize, and react to old and new ideas as they read through what you have written

12. T YPES OF T RANSITIONS Transitions between sections: in longer assignments, it may be necessary/helpful to include transitional paragraphs that summarize the information just covered and specify the relevance of the information to the discussion in the following sections Transitions between paragraphs: can help you highlight a relationship that already exists by summarizing the previous paragraph and suggesting something in the content of the paragraph that follows; can be a word or two, a phrase, or a sentence

13. T YPES OF TRANSITIONS Transitions within paragraphs: act as cues by helping to anticipate what is coming before they read it; tend to be single words or short phrases

14. T RANSITIONAL E XPRESSIONS Similarity: also, in the same way, just as…so too Exception/Contrast: but, however, in spite of Sequence/Order: first, second, third…next Time: after, afterward, at last, before, currently Example: for example, for instance, namely Emphasis: even, indeed, in fact, of course Place/Position: above, adjacent, below, beyond Cause and Effect: accordingly, consequently, hence Additional Support or Evidence: additionally, again, also, besides Conclusion/Summary: finally, in a word, in brief

15. S O …R EMEMBER : A Writer’s Resource - “Editing for Clarity” (pgs. 417- 470, especially 459-468) Wordy Sentences Missing Words Mixed Construction Confusing Shifts Faulty Parallelisms Misplaced & Dangling Modifiers Coordination and Subordination Sentence Variety Active Verbs Appropriate Language The UWC Your Professor

16. N OW …V ERBS !! When you think about using appropriate, powerful verbs in your writing, consider the following: Use Interesting Verbs Use Verbs You Know Don’t Use Passive Voice Use Literary Present

17. U SE I NTERESTING V ERBS NOT: is, was, are, were, shows, states, says, uses, seems, appears (very BORING!) Examples: Incorrect: In Something to Declare, Julia Alvarez shows that there is a connection between her writing and society by writing about her experiences with competing cultural expectations. Correct: In this case, in Something to Declare, Julia Alvarez explores her experiences with competing cultural expectations in order to construct a connection between her writing and society.

18. U SE V ERBS YOU KNOW A thesaurus can make you sound ridiculous if you choose words that don’t fit in the context of your sentence. Use your online access to the Oxford English Dictionary to see a word in a zillion contexts, or “Google” the word to see how it is used or just for a definition. Example: Incorrect: Although Alvarez’s poems and essays commence from a particularly American-Hispanic perspective, she thoroughly reconnoiters basic human characteristics. Correct: Although Alvarez’s poems and essays stem from a particularly American-Hispanic perspective, she thoroughly scrutinizes basic human characteristics.

19. D ON ’ T U SE P ASSIVE V OICE It is sometimes okay! You just need to be careful not to overuse it, or use it because you don’t want to claim your own ideas. Examples #1: Incorrect: In the novel In the Time of the Butterflies, a poly-vocal narrative is used so the world view of each Maribal sister is illustrated. Correct: In her novel In the Time of the Butterflies, Julia Alvarez utilizes a poly-vocal narrative which illustrates the worldview of each Maribal sister.

20. U SE L ITERARY P RESENT Note: Treat the book as your present time. ANYTHING that happens in the book-including what the author writes, scrutinizes, dissects, etc.- is discussed in the present tense. This means that anything that the book treats as in the past--what happened before the present time of the book is discussed in past tense.

21. A LSO R EMEMBER … The UWC is always here to help you! 678-839-6513 writing@westga.edu TLC 1201 (First floor, past the snacks) www.westga.edu/writing Like us on Facebook: University Writing Center (UWG)