1. Effective Communication at Work: Achieving Results & Enhancing Relationships With Dr. Janet Mills

2. A good example of a bad example

3. People have memories—and mouths People happy with you People unhappy with you

4. Three stages of interaction 1.Greeting

5. Three stages of interaction 2. Transaction

6. Three stages of interaction 3. Parting

7. 4 Things people want from YOU 1. Attention

8. 4 Things people want from YOU 2. Acceptance

9. 4 Things people want from YOU 3. Assertion

10. 4 Things people want from YOU 4. Appreciation

11. 1. Attention S = face person SQUARELY O = Adopt an OPEN posture L = LEAN forward slightly E = Maintain EYE CONTACT R = RELAX

12. 1. Attention

13. Lousy listeners

14. 1. Attention Verbal Following Mary was a sensible and giddy young lady, wise and silly beyond compare. She was a slight and small creature, yet so large that everyone who knew her loved her. She felt rather lonely, because she lived in a Town with no other houses or people for miles around.

15. 1. Attention Multi-channel Nonverbal Following Percent of impact in face-to-face comm: Verbal = 8% Facial = 54% Vocal = 38%

16. 1. Attention Multi-channel Nonverbal Following Posture, posture shiftsBody movementBody orientation Interpersonal distanceGesturesFacial displays Eye/looking behaviorsVoice (vocalics)Dress Physical appearanceTouch (tactile)Object communication Odor (olfactory)Breathing patternsBMIRS: behavioral manifestations of internal states

17. 1. Attention Back-channeling Vocalizations Head nodding Gestures Facial expression Eye contact Questions

18. 2. Acceptance Affirm the Nature of the Relationship Hierarchical indicators Who’s up? Down? Immediacy indicators How close or far? Basic respect “I see you” Earned respect High esteem

19. 2. Acceptance Developing and Maintaining Rapport Posture echo Vocal echo Interaction synchrony

21. 2. Acceptance Responding Verbally to Accept Messages –Paraphrase ideas –Paraphrase feelings –Express empathy –Prompt and probe –Summarize

22. Defensiveness The NUMBER ONE PROBLEM in communication at work Defensiveness arises when we feel: Threatened Attacked Punished Unjustly accused When defensive we are likely to experience: Emotional agitation Estrangement Confusion Aggressive and/or passive impulses

23. Defensiveness

24. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Focus on problems Not people

25. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Be congruent Not incongruent Ver Verbal comm Nonverbal comm Thoughts & feelings Match these!

26. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Be descriptive Not evaluative

27. 3. Assertive & supportive communication ValidateDon’t invalidate

28. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Be specificNot global

29. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Be conjunctiveNot disjunctive

30. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Own yourDon’t ► Deny what you’ve said ► Blame others for what you did ► Stuff your feelings ► Ignore what you want ► Forget your needs ► Statements ► Actions ► Feelings ► Wants ► Needs

31. 3. Assertive & supportive communication Make it two-wayNot one-way

32. Assertive Skill 1: Clear Message Format Use to: State a complaint or problem Request a change of behavior, policy or procedure Express hopes, wishes, desires

33. Tool 1: Clear Message Format Elements: Describe Interpret Express/Own Consequences Intentions

34. Tool 2: Responding to feedback that is ON TARGET Use: To respond non-defensively to feedback that is accurate and true

35. Tool 2: Responding to feedback that is ON TARGET Elements: Listen actively Acknowledge your error or fault Seek more information Create plan for positive action Appreciate the other

36. Tool 3: Responding to feedback that is OFF TARGET Use: To respond non-defensively to feedback that is inaccurate or untrue

37. Tool 3: Responding to feedback that is OFF TARGET Elements: Listen actively Fog the criticism Assert Appreciate

38. 4. Appreciation Forms of appreciation ThankPraiseReward ComplimentCommendApprove RecognizeValueNotice Stick up for ReferRecommend

39. Dr. Janet Mills