1. Presenter: Dr. Midge Mougey Jefferson Elementary North Platte, Nebraska 69101

2.  How does it look?  How does it sound?  How does it make you feel?

3. Bullying is: aggressive behavior that is intentional and involves an imbalance of power or strength.

4. Bullying is: **aggressive behavior that is **intentional and involves an (intends to intimidate, hurt, manipulate) **imbalance of power/strength. (Can be social status…can be real or imagined)

5. Not everything is bullying! The three criteria must be in place: **aggressive **intentional **imbalance of power

6. Some behavior is inappropriate…but not bullying. Some behavior is mean…but not bullying. Some behavior is nasty…but not bullying.

7. Facts about bullying: **Most common form of violence in our society **Bullying is often a factor in school related deaths. **Direct physical bullying increases in elementary school, peaks in middle school and declines in high school.

8. More facts: ** Verbal abuse remains constant across age and grade levels. **15% of all school absenteeism at school is directly related to fear of attack or intimidation. **Mean behavior among kids is a universal problem.

10. Early Signs of Bullying

11. Victims have trouble sleeping Try to avoid school Claim illness when nothing seems wrong Want you to drive them places when they could walk School work slides Avoid clubs, after school activities

12. Come home from school unhappy and won’t say why Possessions frequently get “lost” or damaged Become moody, anxious, withdrawn Lose their appetitie Become more aggressive and start bullying others

13. Not everything is bullying.

14. 1.Impulsive 2.Dominant 3. Lack empathy 4.Have difficulty with rules 5.Usually have a small group of “fans”. Understanding children who bully:

15. Pair/share: The “support group” or “FANS” look different for boys and girls. BOYS: GIRLS:

16. Boy bullies count on superior physical strength and size Girl bullies count on quick/clever wit and a sharp tongue.

17. Understanding children who are bullied: 1.Usually timid 2.Lack confidence 3.Are easily manipulated by peers 4.Have difficulty with eye contact

18. Bullies COUNT ON the inaction of peers/adults.

19. Pair/Share: What does inaction look like on the part of peers? ….on the part of adults?

20. What can WE DO to support our children?

21. There is PARENTAL responsibility in the bullying arena. Don’t wait for someone else to do something…it is your responsibility to protect your child!!

22. Teach self- advocacy skills before they will need them.

23. Preventively teach specific skills.

24. Teach them what to say and how to say it!!

25. Body Basics Voice volume Eye contact Posture Proximity Body Language (It is not really about reality…it is about perception!!

26. Role-play with the child until he/she is comfortable and can speak clearly and confidently.

27. What to do Instead of Tattling 1. Look at the person. 2. Use a loud voice. 3. Say, “I don’t like it when you….”. 4. Say, “Stop it!” or “Knock it off!”. 5. Walk/turn away.

28. Increase adult supervision in hot spots

29. Focus class time on addressing prevention efforts and in training whole groups to ACT against bullies. EMPOWER the MAJORITY!!

30. Teach children: 1.Use Authority…Adults can help! Report all bullying situations 2.Use Distraction…If you see a bullying situation, try distracting either the bully or the victim…ask them to get involved in another activity with you. 3.Vote with your legs…Walk away/Don’t participate…don’t be part of the audience. If you are not in a position to help, don’t watch. Walk away and get help. (Bully B’Ware Productions)…www.bullybeware.com

31. Bullying is an evolutionary reality. We used to say “Boys will be boys”, or “Oh, that’s just kids being kids!” If you don’t make the distinction…the LAW might.

32. Shifting GEARS…

33. ARE YOU a victim of adult bullying? http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/10/b usiness/10women.html?_r=1&em

34. Horizontal violence : Female-to-female bullying, especially of successful women, which is often a hidden barrier to women’s success.

35. What adult bullying IS NOT: 1.Receiving a direction or mandate from a boss is NOT BULLYING 2.Having expectations communicated by the boss is NOT BULLYING 3.Having to complete tasks in order to receive a paycheck is NOT BULLYING

36. I thought I was the only one. I definitely thought I was the only one because no one ever talked about [horizontal violence] to me. I thought it was just me. I thought I was just bad. This is an incredibly important piece of work. [Women] need to know! Women need to know that they’re not helping.Peg

37. “We’re just like a bucket of crabs. When one of us gets ahead, the rest of us grab hold and try to pull [her] back into the bucket.” Robin

38.  Publicly questioning her authority  Noncompliance  Gossip  Sabotage  Talking behind her back  Eye rolling  Poor eye contact  Snubbing or overt exclusion

39.  Name-calling  Belittling  Withholding information  Taking credit or stealing ideas  Sarcasm  Pouting  Rumors about men  Keeping a ‘notebook’ on the administrator

40. Horizontal violence is a reality for women. Female leaders are victimized by horizontal violence. Horizontal violence can be devastating in the development process of female leaders. Power is a motivating factor.

41. Jealousy by subordinates toward female superiors is a motivating factor for horizontal violence. Socialization of women contributes to the perpetuation of horizontal violence. A female leader’s own socialization patterns may affect her leadership style …thus affecting reality of horizontal violence. There are specific strategies women can employ to minimize the effects of horizontal violence.

42. There are varying degrees of success with any specific strategy. A female leader’s competence and confidence can be an indicator of future success with female subordinates. Horizontal violence continues to be “women’s dirty little secret” in that there continues to be a high degree of secretiveness among victims of horizontal violence and a reluctance to talk about experiences of horizontal violence.

43. In summary: There are all kinds of bullying…and there are only four “jobs”: Bully Victim Audience Person of action Which Position Will You Fill?

44. Thank YOU!!