1. Sugar & Spice Dealing with Girl Bullies and Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour

2. Suspensions by Gender 80% of suspensions over the past 4 years resulted from issues with interpersonal conflict. directed profanity opposition to authority threats harassment assault

3. Rowan Seymour Reported Incidents

4. Rowan Seymour What parents need to know about Relational Aggression in girls… Current Thinking on Bullying Current Thinking on Bullying Boy Bullies & Girl Bullies Boy Bullies & Girl Bullies How Relational Aggression Works How Relational Aggression Works How to Stop Relational Aggression How to Stop Relational Aggression How to Prevent Relational Aggression How to Prevent Relational Aggression

5. Rowan Seymour What is Bullying? Dr. Dan Olewus Overt Aggression (physical, verbal, social) Overt Aggression (physical, verbal, social) Directed Directed Pattern of behaviour Pattern of behaviour Negative intent Negative intent Power imbalance Power imbalance

6. Rowan Seymour Name that Bully Name your bully Name your bully Tell your story Tell your story Name your emotions Name your emotions

7. Rowan Seymour Boy Bullies Girl Bullies Relational Aggression peer group involvement indirect harassment emotional intimidation indirect confrontation no resolution protracted time lines social-emotional risk Physical Aggression Physical Aggression 1 on 1 conflict 1 on 1 conflict direct threat direct threat physical intimidation physical intimidation public confrontation public confrontation physical resolution physical resolution short time lines short time lines physical risk physical risk

8. Rowan Seymour Dr. Nicki Crick, University of Minnesota Relational Aggression - harming others by damaging their peer relationships and feelings of social inclusion Learned at an early age Learned at an early age Develops in complexity and risk Develops in complexity and risk Reinforcement of social-behaviour patterns Reinforcement of social-behaviour patterns

9. Rowan Seymour Relational aggression is not linked with Relational aggression is not linked with socio-economic status Boys are also relationally aggressive Boys are also relationally aggressive Relational aggression is stable Relational aggression is stable Children who are the frequent victims of relational aggression feel rejected, depressed, and submissive Children who are the frequent victims of relational aggression feel rejected, depressed, and submissive Children who are highly relationally aggressive feel lonely and depressed Children who are highly relationally aggressive feel lonely and depressed Nicole Werner, University of Minnesota

10. Rowan Seymour Aggression Survey Results

11. Rowan Seymour How Relational Aggression Works Labelling Labelling body image, trust, sexuality, maturity body image, trust, sexuality, maturity Separation Separation Misinformation Misinformation gossip, notes, texting, MSN gossip, notes, texting, MSN Intimidation Intimidation looks, laughter, exclusion, jeer-leaders, bumping, threats, etc. looks, laughter, exclusion, jeer-leaders, bumping, threats, etc. Isolation Isolation Ostracism Ostracism

12. Rowan Seymour The Snowball Model of Relational Aggression Causative Incident Third Party Involvement Recruitment Bystander Involvement Critical Mass

13. Rowan Seymour The Snowball Model of Relational Aggression HELP!

14. Rowan Seymour NEW BRUNSWICK SNIPER INJURES 14YR. OLD IN ONTARIO MSN chat text Oct. 22/04 “…who do you think you are talking about brenda when she isnt even your friend you bitch im just telling you what people are saying about you and they say your making up lies in your retarded head now every body hates you and you have no friends.” MSN chat text Oct. 22/04 “…who do you think you are talking about brenda when she isnt even your friend you bitch im just telling you what people are saying about you and they say your making up lies in your retarded head now every body hates you and you have no friends.” from Amy’s ex-boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend’s sister who is 15 yrs old and lives in N.B.. She has never met Amy. from Amy’s ex-boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend’s sister who is 15 yrs old and lives in N.B.. She has never met Amy.

15. Rowan Seymour Mean Girls “Last year I was the toughest girl in the school. What I really wanted was for people to like me but I was afraid. So I made them respect me or I’d turn their friends against them. People knew it was better to be my friend than my enemy.” – Brenda

16. Rowan Seymour How can you stop Relational Aggression? One at a time One at a time Empathic approach (focus on feelings) Empathic approach (focus on feelings) Identify all the players and the pattern Identify all the players and the pattern Agree on universal values Agree on universal values We all deserve to feel safe and happy We all deserve to feel safe and happy We all deserve to have good friendships We all deserve to have good friendships This is a pattern that needs to stop. Now. This is a pattern that needs to stop. Now. The Magic Words The Magic Words Accountability Accountability

17. Rowan Seymour How can we prevent Relational Aggression? Emotional Education Emotional Education Building Better Friendships Building Better Friendships Supportive Consequences Supportive Consequences Support for Individuals Support for Individuals Support for Peer Group Support for Peer Group

18. Rowan Seymour Risk Factors & Protective Factors History of aggressive behaviour History of aggressive behaviour Trouble with the law Trouble with the law Prior victim of bullying Prior victim of bullying Personality and behaviour (conduct disorder) Personality and behaviour (conduct disorder) Substance use / abuse Substance use / abuse Academic history Academic history Family support / supervision Family support / supervision Peer influence (+ / -) Peer influence (+ / -) Recreational involvement Recreational involvement

19. Rowan Seymour What do adolescent girls need? A ‘Girls Only’ Space A ‘Girls Only’ Space Love, Trust, and Validation from Caring Adults Love, Trust, and Validation from Caring Adults Positive Role Models Positive Role Models To Belong To Belong To Feel Competent and Worthy To Feel Competent and Worthy Redefine ‘Friendships’ as safe, comforting, nurturing, trusting, and accepting Redefine ‘Friendships’ as safe, comforting, nurturing, trusting, and accepting

20. Rowan Seymour Building a Safe & Caring Community

21. Rowan Seymour Suggested Resources

22. Rowan Seymour On Line Resources www.ocdsb.edu.on.ca Safe and Caring Schools

23. Sugar & Spice Dealing with Girl Bullies and Relational Aggression Rowan Seymour