1. Prepared by Lynn Malley, JD, MA, LLM Creative Conflict Management Resources www.mediate.com/malleywww.mediate.com/malley, lynn.malley@mediate.comlynn.malley@mediate.com Air Force Reserve Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Training February 24-26, 2009 Including Family and Community in YR Reintegration Efforts Consider Multiple Backgrounds Consider Cultural Differences Use Appropriate Teaching Styles Build Community Relations

2. * Y OUR E XPECTATIONS OF THIS S ESSION Write them briefly on the 3x5 card on your table At the end of this talk, Ill ask you to write down what you learned I will collect the cards

3. * T URN TO A N EIGHBOR Y OU D ON T K NOW W ELL Tell that person at least five roles you play or have played Tell them in which roles you feel more or less competent Your Background – The Roles You Have Played * Why do the roles we play matter in the design and planning of Reintegration Events?

4. M Y B ACKGROUND – T HE R OLES I HAVE P LAYED Parent Daughter 26 (jewelry maker) Son 24 (OIF veteran) Former wife of Army Reservist Teacher (elementary and high school) Lawyer Prosecutor Family practice Mediator, mediation and negotiation trainer Law Professor (ADR) Community mediation center manager OK DMHSA Policy Team Member on Return of Veterans OK State ESGR Committee Member OK ISFAC Member Speaker at YR Reintegration Events

5. W HY D O O UR B ACKGROUNDS ( THE R OLES W E H AVE P LAYED ) M ATTER ? They affect how and what we see/understand They set our limits and guide our aspirations They inform our decisions

6. W HAT D O Y OU S EE ? Young woman? Old woman?

7. W HAT D O Y OU S EE ? Service Member: Your commanding officer or your buddy Family/Community Member: One more person in a uniform

8. W HAT D O Y OU W ANT THE P EOPLE AT YOUR Y ELLOW R IBBON R EINTEGRATION E VENT TO S EE ? A commanding officer? One more person in a uniform? Someone who can assist them?

9. W HAT C ULTURAL D IFFERENCES L EAD TO THIS D IFFERENCE IN P ERCEPTION ? Military Viewpoint B uddies (cohesion) A ccountability T argeted Aggression T actical Awareness L ethally Armed E motional Control M ission Operational Security I ndividual Responsibility N on-Defensive (combat) Driving D iscipline and Ordering Civilian Viewpoint W ithdrawal from Family C ontrolling Behavior I nappropriate Aggression H ypervigilance L ocked and Loaded at Home A nger/Detachment S ecretiveness G uilt A ggressive Driving C onflict From http://www.virtualarmory.com/mobiledeploy/PDHRA/battlemind.aspx

10. W HAT C ULTURAL D IFFERENCES L EAD TO THIS D IFFERENCE IN P ERCEPTION ? Military Expectations Do what you are told Do it on short notice Do not ask questions Do not need to know why Do not give negative feedback Do not make suggestions Expect Briefings Civilian Expectations Ask why Expect enough notice to make arrangements Ask why Do not go if you do not know why Tell them what you think Expect interesting presentations How Do these Differences Affect How We Plan for Reintegration?

11. W HAT I S R EINTEGRATION A NYWAY ? the return and acceptance of a disabled person as a participating member of the community (from Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.) A viable reintegration is achieved when the necessary political, legal, economic and social conditions for a decent life in peace and dignity of ex-combatants are attained. (Definition adapted from Handbook for Repatriation and Reintegration Activities (UNHCR, Geneva, May 2004) After wars' end, soldiers once again become civilians and return to their families to try to pick up where they left off. It is this process of readjustment that has more often than not been ignored by society. -- Major Robert H. Stretch, Ph.D in Textbook of Military Medicine: Vol. 6 Combat Stress Textbook of Military Medicine: Vol. 6 Combat Stress

12. W HAT IS R E - INTEGRATION A NYWAY ? to integrate again into an entity : restore to unity (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reintegrate)http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reintegrate For example, After studying abroad After college After being a missionary abroad After teaching and living abroad After a treatment program After being released from prison After being deployed **What happens when there is no preparation for returning home? Your experiences?

13. W HAT IS R E - INTEGRATION A NYWAY ? The Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program shall consist of informational events and activities for members of the reserve components of the Armed Forces, their families, and community members to facilitate access to services supporting their health and well-being through the four phases of the deployment cycle… Service Members Community Members Family Members

14. H OW D OES R E - INTEGRATION H APPEN ? W HO I S I NVOLVED ? Reintegration happens through the cooperation and planning of each of these groups All are necessary Service Members Community Members Family Members

15. R EINTEGRATION : W HY D OES IT REQUIRE S ERVICE M EMBER, F AMILY, AND C OMMUNITY ?

16. W HO M AKES U P E ACH OF T HESE G ROUPS ? Service Members Family Members Spouse / Significant Other Children / Stepchildren Caretakers of kids Parents / In-laws Military Community Members Military Onesource VA Veterans Organizations other Civilian Community Members Educators Higher Ed K-12 Employers Current Potential Service Providers Counselors Law Enforcement Drug Court Medical Providers other

17. H OW D OES R EINTEGRATION H APPEN ? O R, H OW A RE S ERVICE M EMBERS M ADE W HOLE W HEN T HEY R ETURN FROM D EPLOYMENT ? o Meetings for service members, families, and community members are planned according to the schedule in the YR Legislation. o People from each group are invited o Service members need to know why they are being asked to participate o Commanders need to be able to educate and encourage their people o Family members need to know why they are being asked to participate and what they can expect to get out of it o Information about child care is critical o Community members need to know why they are being asked to participate and what they can expect to get out of it o They need lots of notice o They need to know what their role is

18. H OW D OES R EINTEGRATION H APPEN ? ( CONT.) o Community members can provide important support in other ways o Educators can … o provide information about how people learn best o Design pre and post event surveys that are valid o Help design programs for the children to help them cope with deployment/reintegration issues o Educational Institutions can… o Provide information on their classes o Show how they treat service members o Employers can … o Come to job fairs o Provide resume writing classes o Helping professionals can o Explain their services are for service members o Run community dialogue groups

19. B EFORE AN A CTIVITY … Give multiple notices/invitations in multiple ways Email an invite Mail a brochure Tell the commanders in person Get the notices out early Answer any Whys you anticipate Be sure any presentations are interesting and appropriate for the group Have a professional prepare a needs assessment Service Members Community Members Family Members

20. D URING AN A CTIVITY … Make everyone feel welcome Use name tags that give important information First and last name Role at the event Role in the deployment Be sure any presentations are interesting and interactive Ask for feedback Service Members Community Members Family Members

21. W HY U SE N AME T AGS ? Remember the general… or airman…

22. W HY M AKE P RESENTATIONS I NTERACTIVE ?

23. H OW TO M AKE P RESENTATIONS I NTERACTIVE ? Talk to people by name Ask participants to share a thought with a neighbor Ask participants to write something down to hand in or just to remember Remember that attention drifts after 18 minutes…

24. M ORE W AYS TO E NGAGE THE C OMMUNITY … Engage professionals to run community discussions Deliberative Dialogue (http://www.nifi.org)http://www.nifi.org Everyday Democracy (http://www.everyday-democracy.org)http://www.everyday-democracy.org Support or start a Student Veterans Group Educate community professionals about military culture Therapists and Doctors Police and Parole Officers Mediators and Educators Lawyers and Judges Service Members Community Members Family Members

25. C ULTURAL D IFFERENCES : M ILITARY AND C IVILIAN Why does this matter? Yellow Ribbon is about a three part reintegration Service members Family members Communities Military and civilian cultures are different Battlemind slides have an excellent example of this Talk to your neighbor about how the cultures differ and how that might impact your YR event planning

26. R EACHING OUT TO C IVILIANS – W HO ? Families Spouse Significant Other Children/stepchildren Parents Caretaker for children Community members Employers Educators K-12 Higher Ed Mental Health professionals State Agencies Law Enforcement Military benefit providers

27. R EACHING OUT TO C IVILIANS – H OW ? Include family and community members on your team Speak Civilian Dont order them Dont use militaryese Give lead time Give details Tell why Build personal relationships

28. U SE A PPROPRIATE T EACHING M ETHODS Once Youve Got Them, Dont Bore Them – They May Not Come Back Involve them in the presentations Have them talk with their neighbor about the topic Have them jot down questions at the beginning or the end Give them the opportunity to meet in different types of groups Have civilian and military presenters Brief the presenters on having interactive presentations Use name tags that give appropriate info

29. C OMMUNITY R ELATIONSHIP - BUILDING : N OT J UST A BOUT H AVING THE VA OR ESGR S PEAK If your families do not live near a base, they may not have others who understand military culture to support them or their children or parents Involve the community, dont brief them Promote and get involved in community dialogues Consider community or school Art Shows Engage with state agencies and professionals 10 states have mental health teams for vets 35 states have free mediation services for vets Therapists/lawyers/mediators/doctors organizations are organizing to provide free services Many churches provide services for veterans Universities are developing veterans organizations

30. F EEDBACK P LEASE … Did you learn anything? Did you learn what you expected to? Write what you learned or other comments on your 3 x 5 cards and pass them to the end of your row I am happy to give you feedback or other assistance lynn.malley@mediate.com www.mediate.com/malley