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Emotional Intelligence EI Skills Group www.eiSkills.com
Presentation content developed by: EI Skills Group
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How are you? Mood Meter High 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Energy ___ Mood ___ Energy Low Unpleasant Negative Pleasant Positive Emotion
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Mood Meter Results III IV Energy II I Emotion
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Does it matter how you feel?
High Afraid Surprised Angry Happy Pleased Annoyed Energy Content Sad Calm Bored Tired Low Unpleasant Pleasant Emotion
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Success factors: Must have
Intelligence Motivation Technical Knowledge
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Success factors: Helps to have
Specific skills Certain experiences Emotional Intelligence
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You might have heard of EI / EQ
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The science of EI … Began in 1990 by Salovey & Mayer
Emotional intelligence is "the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one's thinking and action". “Mayer, Salovey, Caruso’s approach sets the gold standard.” - Dr. Catherine Daus & Dr. Neal Ashkanasy
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Emotional intelligence theory
1 IDENTIFY 4 MANAGE 2 USE UNDERSTAND 3
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Emotional Intelligence is:
A hard skill A form of intelligence Where You think about emotions, and Emotions help you think
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Emotional Intelligence relates to:
Greater empathy for others More positive behaviors Less ‘negative’ behaviors Better quality social relationships Enhanced communication Social support Vision, charisma, teamwork …
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Emotions have meaning and importance
1. Occurs due to a change in the environment 2. Occurs automatically and quickly 3. Changes attention and thought 4. Certain physical feelings 5. Motivates behavior Serves an adaptive function
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Emotions drive relationships
The primary function of emotion is to mobilize the organism to deal quickly with important interpersonal events. Events include: threats, attacks, alarms, courtships, social contact, isolation, greetings, appeasement, dominance, submission, and play. Robert Plutchik, psychologist
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Emotions are universal …
Darwin The expression of the emotions in man and animals (1872)
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Emotions have universal meaning
Happiness Gain something of value Sadness Lose something of value Surprise Something is happening Anger Blocked from getting something Fear Possible threat Disgust Rules are violated
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A common emotional language … English Deutsch Français Italiano
Espagnol Afraid Verängstigt Apeuré Impaurito Atemorizado Angry Ärgerlich en colère Arrabbiato Enfadado Happy Glücklich Heureux Felice Feliz Sad Traurig Triste Surprised Überrascht Surpris Sorpreso Sorprendido Disgusted Ekelerfüllt Dégoûté Disgustato Asqueado Calm Ruhig Calme Calmo Calmado Bored Gelangweilt Ennuyé Annoiato Aburrido Interested Interessiert Intéressé Interessato Interesado Excited Erregt Excité Eccitato Excitado
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But, there are individual and group differences
Emotional sensitivity: - Ability to pick up emotional signals - Varies from person to person Specific causes of emotions: - Can vary from person to person and across groups
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Specific causes may differ
Disgust
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Emotional Differences
When we express these emotions: - Differs from culture to culture - These are called display rules
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Emotional display rules
Emotions expressed at work 53% 19% Anger Happiness
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Do you know if you are emotionally intelligent?
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Self-Report EI x MSCEIT Scores
People are poor judges of their own intelligence and very poor judges of their emotional intelligence Self-Report EI x MSCEIT Scores Self-rated IQ versus IQ tests Self-rated EI versus EI Ability test
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Measuring EI: MSCEIT Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test
MSCEIT is an IQ test for emotions
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Objective EI Tests Have “right and wrong” answers Objectively scored
Based on fact that emotions are data
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Identify Emotions Anger Sadness Happiness Disgust Fear Surprise
None Perhaps Present Anger Sadness Happiness Disgust Fear Surprise
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Your score: Anger Sadness Happiness Disgust Fear Surprise Perhaps
None Perhaps Present Anger Sadness Happiness Disgust Fear Surprise
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Use Emotions Which emotion would be most useful to have someone agree to help you with a difficult and time-consuming project? Anger Sadness Happiness
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Your score: Which emotion would be most useful to have someone agree to help you with a difficult and time-consuming project? Anger Sadness Happiness
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? Understand Emotions 1. A client feels frustrated.
2. Repeatedly asks you for information. 3. He is getting annoyed. 4. You ignore the request. 5. The client will feel: Disgust Anger Sadness ?
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Your score: 1. A client feels frustrated.
2. Repeatedly asks you for information. 3. He is getting annoyed. 4. You ignore the request. 5. The client will feel: Disgust Anger Sadness
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Manage Emotions The client keeps asking for more and more information about the same product. How effective would each of these actions be in addressing client concerns? Not At All A Little A Lot Address each of the issues in order of their importance. Find out what is making the client anxious. Demonstrate that the concerns are unfounded.
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Your score: The client keeps asking for more and more information about the same product. How effective would each of these actions be in addressing client concerns? Not At All A Little A Lot Address each of the issues in order of their importance. Find out what is making the client anxious. Demonstrate that the concerns are unfounded.
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Applying Your EI High EI: apply your abilities Low EI: Develop
Compensate
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IDENTIFY
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Identify Emotions Identify emotions in self and others
Express emotions accurately
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Identify Emotions We often don't share feelings information.
We may cover up how we feel in order to protect others. We say that everything is fine when it is not. We claim that we're not worried, when we are. However, such deception is easy to spot. We don't protect our clients or family in this way, but instead, we create an atmosphere of mistrust.
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Relevance Enhances communication Enhances quality of relationships Source of info about your client Sends information to client
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Identify Emotions Questions
Pay attention to emotion cues? Pick up on emotional signals? Read people accurately? Accurately express my emotions?
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Identify Emotions Exercise
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USE
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Use Emotions Use emotions to help you think in different ways
Match the right emotion to the task
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Use Emotions Provide us with a clear focus
What Negative Moods Do For Thinking Provide us with a clear focus Details examined more efficiently Search for errors is enhanced What Positive Moods Do For Thinking Expands our thinking Helps generate new ideas Encourages us to consider possibilities
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Use Emotions: Specific influence of emotions
Impact Anger Fight Disgust Reject Fear Avoid Sadness Give up Surprise Pay attention Happiness Explore
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Communicate, motivate and inspire
Relevance Emotional connection Communicate, motivate and inspire Empathy
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Use Emotions Questions
Consider how client’s moods impact his decision making? Is this the right time for this discussion? Match the mood to the situation?
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Use Emotions Exercise
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UNDERSTAND
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Understand Emotions Understand the causes of emotions
Understand complex emotions
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Insight into others What bothers them? What worries them?
Relevance Insight into others What bothers them? What worries them? What makes them happy?
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Understand Emotions Questions
Do I truly understand the client? Understand myself? Do I engage in emotional what-if planning before important meetings?
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Understand Emotions Exercise
Cause You Other Anger Obstacle Disgust Distasteful Fear Threat Happiness Gain something Sadness Lose something of value Surprise Unexpected event Interest ?
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MANAGE
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Manage Emotions Emotions contain data, so stay open to feelings
Good decisions and actions require emotion.
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Relevance MacLean Damasio
Ironically, the feeling that something is real, true, and right comes not from the reasonable neocortex, but from evolutionary older, emotion centers of the limbic cortex. MacLean Far from interfering with rationality, the absence of emotion and feeling can break down rationality and make wise decision making almost impossible. Damasio
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Manage Emotions Questions
Pay attention to what your feelings are communicating to you? Stay open to unpleasant feelings? Get at the deeper meaning of client communications?
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Manage Emotions Consider a few recent decisions.
Have you ever made a decision where the logical arguments were strong, but you had a bad feeling about the situation? Have you made a good decision where you had a feel for the right thing, even though the numbers did not support the decision?
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A blueprint for emotions…
What emotions are you, and others, experiencing? 1 1 How are these emotions directing and impacting thinking? 2 IDENTIFY 4 MANAGE 2 USE UNDERSTAND How do you manage your emotions and other’s emotions? What caused these emotions? How might these emotions change? 4 3 3
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Manage Emotions Exercise
Emotional Blueprint Case
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A focus on emotion does not make you weak or vulnerable.
Key Points: A focus on emotion does not make you weak or vulnerable. Emotions are data Signals about relationships Use the Blueprint
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An emotionally-intelligent conclusion
Does it matter how we end a meeting? A phone call? A conference? This session? Pleasant Unpleasant High 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Low ?
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Positive, energetic Generate ideas Consider possibilities Pleasant Unpleasant High 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Low
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An emotionally-intelligent conclusion
I feel great. I am full of energy. I am jumping for joy!
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Thank you ...
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