1. Parent Partner Training
Bridging the Gap

2. Welcome! Please put cell phones on vibrate, or turn them off
There will be breaks
Help yourself to a light snack
Please speak openly and honestly, and feel free to ask questions!

3. Parent Partners Qualities of a good Parent Partner Bridging the Gap
Family forms and family systems
Empathy: Putting yourself in their shoes
Communication
Helping families build on their own strengths
How to avoid dependency
Taking care of self

4. Parent Partners …
Set the tone for the relationship with the discharge resource…
Are an integral part of the treatment team…

5. Qualities of good Parent Partners

6. Parent Partners
Why is helping families achieve “healthy interdependence” a more realistic goal than promoting “self-sufficiency”?
What steps can you take to help the biological family restore a sense of self- reliance with their community?

7. Parent Partners
What words come to mind when you think of partnering or mentoring?
How can you partner and mentor with the biological parent?

8. Bridging the Gap

9. Bridging the Gap
Recognize the benefits and challenges of working with foster children
Learn roles and responsibilities of birth parents, resource parents and Foster Care Specialists in relation to Bridging the Gap
Recognize the ways you can work with the child’s family and support ongoing communication between birth and resource families
Learn ways to minimize the challenges of working with the foster child’s family

10. Bridging the Gap
Building and maintaining positive relationships and communication between birth and resource families
Support the goal of family reunification or another permanency plan
Strengthen and maintain family connections through increased cooperation and collaboration between resource and birth families
Increase contact between child, parents and siblings

11. Bridging the Gap Benefits for the child Benefits for the Birth Parents
Benefits for the Resource Parents
Benefits for the other Team Members

12. Bridging the Gap Without Bridging the Gap:
Resource families may not get to continue relationship after reunification
Child’s family may resent unknown resource family
Divided loyalties
Both families compete for child’s affection
Easier for child to pit one against the other
Child’s family may have limited contact with child
Child’s family may become unmotivated and give up

13. Bridging the Gap Strategies to minimize challenges: Work as a team
Develop and maintain a positive and trusting relationship
Set clear boundaries
Establish ground rules
Reassure parent that the goal is reunification
Encourage birth parent to acknowledge progress
Collaborate with FCS

14. Bridging the Gap Teaming and Conferencing
Resource Parents are encouraged to make contact with the biological family the first night the child is in their home to introduce themselves and allow the child to speak to their parent
A facilitated child focused meeting held shortly after a child is placed in foster care to provide an opportunity for birth and resource parents to meet and share information about the needs of the child
This is the beginning of establishing communication in building a relationship between the child’s parents and resource parents

15. Bridging the Gap Teaming and Conferencing Brief (about 30 minutes)
Facilitated by County Caseworker with support of Foster Care Specialist
Child specific information is exchanged
Held within first 7 days of placement
(unless otherwise directed by your FCS)
At this meeting, an ISP date will be scheduled within the child’s first 30 days of placement

16. Opportunity for parents and resource parents to meet
Bridging the Gap
Opportunity for parents and resource parents to meet
Purpose of Teaming and Conferencing

17. Bridging the Gap Purpose of Teaming and Conferencing
Opportunity for parents and resource parents to meet
Begin relationship and communi-cation
Purpose of Teaming and Conferencing

18. Bridging the Gap Purpose of Teaming and Conferencing
Opportunity for parents and resource parents to meet
Begin relationship and communi-cation
Share information and support the child
Purpose of Teaming and Conferencing

19. Bridging the Gap Purpose of Teaming and Conferencing
Opportunity for parents and resource parents to meet
Begin relationship and communi-cation
Share information and support the child
Reduce anxiety
Purpose of Teaming and Conferencing

20. Bridging the Gap Purpose of Teaming and Conferencing
Opportunity for parents and resource parents to meet
Begin relationship and communi-cation
Share information and support the child
Reduce anxiety
Reassure child that all parties are working together
Purpose of Teaming and Conferencing

21. Bridging the Gap
Guidelines
Teaming and conferencing can be held for any placement change
Child’s attendance is at the FCS’s discretion
FCS is responsible for coordinating
Information shared should be child focused

22. Bridging the Gap – Sharing Information
Resource Parents
Birth Parent
Child
FCS
How the child is doing
Assurance (I am not taking your place)
Who lives in the resource home
Where the child sleeps
What they call the resource parents
Basic rules and structure of the resource parents’ home
Daily routine
Experience or goals as a resource parent
Child’s likes and dislikes
Who lived with the child
Basic rules
Daily routines
Medical issues and allergies
Any other information
Ask questions
Express desires regarding important connections and activities
Share important information about themselves
Help create a communication plan that involves all parties
Phone calls
Letters/cards
Attendance at appointments/functions
Short term visitation plan
When/where
Transportation
Who is included?

23. Bridging the Gap
Supporting
Helping
Teaching
Participating

24. Bridging the Gap Supporting the Child’s Family
Social and emotional assistance to encourage and aid family’s progress towards reunification
Helping the Child’s Family
Actively and concretely assisting family in tasks to improve functioning and move closer to reunification
Focus on care and needs of the child
Contact is more neutral
Teaching the Child’s Family
Providing family with knowledge and skills to enhance their abilities
Broadening venues of contact
Be careful to “teach” does not become “preach”
Participating with the Child’s Family
Resource parent is confident and secure enough to invite birth parents to participate in all aspects of the child’s life
Resource parents are encouraged to invite the child’s parents to a family activity once a month

25. Bridging the Gap after teaming and conferencing
Please see page 7 in your manual
Resource Parents
Birth Parents
Other Team Members
The Child

26. Bridging the Gap
Bridging the Gap will help to lessen trauma in a child’s life by building and maintaining relationships between families to support reunification or another permanency plan.

27. EMPATHY: PUTTING YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES

28. Forced Choice
1. Leave the children with your aunt. Hope she doesn’t get sick. Go to work all 5 days. You will have money for food and rent. Medical care will have to wait.
2. Get your 9 year old niece to stay with the children. Tell her to call you at work if anything happens. Your niece will have to skip school to watch the children.
3. Stay home from work and care for the children yourself to prevent your aunt from getting sick. Go to the clinic and let Medicaid pay the bill but lose several days of income in the process. Either food or rent will have to wait.
4. Take your child to the doctor and pay cash. Don’t worry about the rent until next pay. Hope your landlord does not move forward with the eviction process he has already threatened.
Trainer should have large post its throughout the training room with Options 1, 2, 3, and 4 listed. Trainer should read the scenario to applicants and then encourage applicants to review their options and stand by the choice they would make. Once everyone has declared a decision trainer should encourage someone from each group to defend their choice. NO ALTERNATE OPTIONS!
Trainer should point put out value statements while people are defending their decision: “The 9 year old cannot miss school.”

29. Empathy: Putting yourself in their shoes
Guidelines to help you decide what to share

30. COMMUNICATION

31. Nonverbal Communication
There are four general areas of nonverbal communication
Facial expression (including eye contact)
Body posture
Awareness of personal space
Intuition

32. Listening Well Listening well involves four basic skills:
Creating an atmosphere that will encourage the other person to talk
Using “communication helpers”
Avoiding “communication blockers”
Reflecting back what you’ve heard with feedback

33. Listening Well Communication helpers Door openers
“Want to talk about it?”
“You look upset. Is something bothering you?”
Encouragers
“I’d like to hear more about your family’s concerns.”
Open-ended questions
“What do you hope your child will gain from being in our home?”

34. Conversation blockers
Listening Well
Conversation blockers
Blaming
Moralizing
Always and Never
Giving orders or threatening
Name-calling
Directing or avoiding the other’s concern
Labeling
Excessive questioning
Giving unasked-for advice

35. Listening Well Three ways to give feedback
Factual – “You weren’t able to make your doctor’s appointment because your car broke down. And you couldn’t call because your phone got shut off because you couldn’t pay your bill.”
Emotional – “It’s frustrating not have a reliable car, or a phone. That must be really hard.”
Solution-focused – “The woman at the doctor’s office said you could reschedule for next week. Did you say your sister works in town? Do you think she’d give you a ride? Yes? Great!”

36. Conflict resolution Seven steps to resolving conflicts Listen.
Let the other person know you understand their complaint.
Affirm something you honestly admire in the person.
Look for the need behind the problem.
Together, come up with a list of possible solutions.
Together, choose one that meets both of your needs.
Agree on a specific period of time to try out the solution.

37. Conflict resolution
Several rounds of feedback may be necessary to understand a person’s complaint fully
Look for the need behind the problem before jumping to try to solve it. This helps you involve the other person in proposing possible solutions.

38. Handling blame and criticism
Family member: “Jonnie went to crisis this weekend. You told me to keep using that daily check in and it’s all your fault! You’re supposed to be helping us! Who ever let you become a foster parent? I’m calling the Clinical Supervisor!”

39. Handling blame and criticism
Without skillful listening and speaking Parent partner: “Wait a minute! It’s not my fault. Did you do it exactly like I said with the praise sandwich? Is all that trash still lying around in your hallway? There are lots of other families who want my help if you can’t be cooperative. I’ve been at Bair for 3 years and no one has ever treated me so disrespectfully!”

40. Handling blame and criticism
With skillful listening and speaking: Parent partner: “I can see you’re furious and worried about Jonnie. I’ll try to help you, and I’d appreciate it if we can be respectful toward each other. I know getting hospitalization is scary, and I’ll be able to help you best if we’re working together on this. Let me make sure I have the facts right, so I can help you straighten this out as quickly as possible. You were using a daily check in and Jonnie had to be hospitalized? Can you remember what else had happened before the check in time or what exactly escalated Jonnie over the weekend?”

41. HELPING FAMILIES BUILD ON THEIR OWN STRENGTHS

42. Helping families build on their own strengths
Turning weaknesses into strengths
Developing “peripheral vision” or the ability to see a wider view of a family’s strengths despite the reality of their struggles

43. Helping families build on their own strengths
Thelma changes jobs every few weeks. If she doesn’t like her supervisor or gets into an argument with a co-worker, she decides the job isn’t right for her and leaves. Paolo commutes two hours each day to work in a factory. He wants to be a good father but is exhausted when he finally gets home late in the evening. Dottie has been in recovery from drug abuse for three years. Her boyfriend is unemployed and watches her children. James is finishing night school to become a paralegal. Last week, he lost his job as a security guard because he fell asleep while on duty.

44. Helping families build on their own strengths

45. HOW TO AVOID DEPENDENCY

46. How to avoid dependency
Situations to practice setting healthy boundaries with families:
A family asks you to loan them money
A family asks you to watch their children while they run to the store to buy the kids’ birthday presents
A family invites you to attend their family reunion
A family asks you to stop at the store on your way over and pick up a gallon of milk, and they’ll pay you when you arrive
A family asks you to write a letter to the utility company, asking for an extension

47. How to avoid dependency
Setting healthy boundaries and avoiding the ‘enabler’ role in family development relationships

48. TAKING CARE OF SELF

49. Taking Care of Self – Pie of Life

50. What verbal and non-verbal cues indicate you are experiencing stress?
Taking Care of Self
What verbal and non-verbal cues indicate you are experiencing stress?

51. Taking Care of Self
Active Relaxation

52. Taking Care of Self - PLAN!
What could you do today to take better care of yourself?
What could you do this week to start taking better care of yourself?
What could you do this month to take better care of yourself?

53. Taking Care of Self
Support systems

54. Parent Partners…
Hebrews 6:10 God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

55. CRR 30 days until admission with day visits first
Bridge Meetings every 30 days
At least twice a month home visits and will increase as the child moves towards discharge
Phone calls to discharge resource everyday, no matter where the child is
Last 6 weeks at home and can come back for respites
$45/day reimbursement and travel allocation

56. YAP – Respite program Can be every 60 days
Split transportation with the family
Forms must be signed by the family and returned to BAIR immediately
CRR – may transfer to or from the program

57. FAST – expedited reunification
Visits may be 3 – 5 times per week
Transportation and mentoring a key part of the program