1. Grammartastic Lessons
Yay!

2. Avoiding Wordiness
One issue that a lot of you need to work on is...WORDINESS
Your first draft is probably wordy, and you shouldn’t worry about wordiness on your first draft.
This is one of the biggest issues with you...how many of you wait until the deadline to finish/read/revise your paper?
When you edit/revise, you should go back and correct wordiness.

3. Correcting Wordiness
The reason why he came to Douglas College was because it was inexpensive in price.
The words reason, why, and because all express the same idea
Saying something is inexpensive includes the idea of price
He came to Douglas College because it was inexpensive.

4. Correcting Wordiness
Despite the fact that she was feeling ill, she came to the conclusion that she would go to work.
Despite the fact that is really just a long way of saying despite.
Came to the conclusion that is a long way of saying decided
Despite feeling ill, she decided to go to work.

5. Correcting Wordiness
In my opinion, I think the study of Sociology is very fascinating. VS
Sociology is fascinating

6. Correcting Wordiness
In my opinion and I think just repeat the same idea, so we could take one out. However, fascinating is clearly a judgement, so there is no need to include either I think or In my opinion.
Sociology includes the idea of studying it, so the study of is redundant.
Fascinating can be defined as very interesting, so adding very is unnecessary.

7. Correcting Wordiness
Practice using Exercise 1 by omitting unnecessary words, and then we’ll check it together.

8. Cause of Wordiness Redundancy isn’t the only reason for wordiness
Use of vague words that need explanation instead of PRECISE vocabulary
Use of long expressions instead of INDIVIDUAL words
Under-use of listing
Over-use of passive verbs -- we’ve kind of talked about this…
Over-use of prepositional phrases
Over-use of “it” and “there” as meaningless subjects
Over-use of clauses

9. Use of Vague Words She talked to him in a loud angry voice.
She yelled at him.
The crime wave had some bad results that cost people a lot of money.
The crime wave had some costly results.

10. Long Expressions …to come to the conclusion that… ...to decide…
...to put forward the idea that…
...to suggest...

11. Under-Use of Listing IN MODERATION
She went to the store and bought a loaf of bread. She also picked up some milk. She also got a newspaper.
She bought a loaf of bread, some milk, and a newspaper at the store.

12. Over-Use of Passive Verbs
We already talked about passive VS active.
The criminal was caught by the police, and later the criminal was convicted by the courts.
The police caught the criminal and the court convicted him.

13. Over-Use of Prepositional Phrases
In Edmonton in Alberta at 11:00 pm in the evening on the first of June, the northern lights gave a wonderful show to people.
In Edmonton, Alberta at 11:00 pm, June 1, the northern lights gave people a wonderful show.

14. Over-Use of “It” & “There”
It was exciting to go to the New Year celebrations.
The New Year celebrations were exciting.
There were thirty-four people in the room who were waiting for the mayor.
Thirty-four people in the room were waiting for the mayor.

15. Over-Use of Clauses
After she had baked the bread, she cleaned up the kitchen. (clause)
After baking the bread, she cleaned up the kitchen. (phrase)
McKenzie, who was the first person to cross Canada by land, ended his trip in Bella Coola, B.C.
McKenzie, the first person to cross Canada by land, ended his trip in Bella Coola, B.C.
The girl who was talented gave a concert.
The talented girl gave a concert.

16. Practice!
Exercise 2, Exercise 3, Exercise 4, Exercise 5, Exercise 6