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Conducting Weddings 1
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Weddings: Before the Wedding
Know the Base, Post, Installation Chapel SOP Preparation for marriage is a powerful teaching time for service member and spouse. Have some standards in which you will implement as part of your willingness to marry your soldiers, airmen/women, sailors, coasties, and marines. Make sure that they understand the sacred nature of being married in a chapel ceremony. Check with installation chaplain for their SOPs concerning weddings. A marrying Sam is a chaplain who has no standards and is known for performing marriage ceremonies for anyone. What type of standards will you implement? Many use the chapel because it is free. They are not really interested in a sacred ceremony. They think that using the chapel is a nice touch. It is more of a cultural element than a sacred element. 1
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Weddings: Before the Wedding
Have some standards in which you will implement as part of your willingness to marry your soldiers, airmen/women, sailors, coasties, and marines. Examples of standards: Chastity Pre-marital Counseling Guard your family time, especially Saturdays. Plan ahead. 1
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Weddings: Before the Wedding
Pre-marital Counseling-Elements Family History (Geno-gram) Communication Styles Intimacy Expectations Problem Solving (what is your style)/Conflict Resolution Open Ended Questions Wedding (process) How do they view a traditional wedding? Some Installations will have programs for pre-marital counseling Develop your own lesson plans or programs, e.g., Gary Smalley (Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships), John Gottman, Love Lanuages, etc. Some installations/bases have programs that are run every month in which couples can enroll in and receive pre-marital counseling. 1
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Process of a Wedding Irish Priest/ The Princess Bride /Watch Father of the Bride/ Saber Arch Military Wedding Prep videos at the beginning of the class. License to Perform Marriage Ceremony 1
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Weddings: Steps in a Wedding Ceremony
Prelude Music is playing and guests are seated. Normally, special guests are last to be seated, i.e., escorted by the usher. Seated first grandparents, then parents of the groom, and lastly mother of the bride. Prelude time for mediation and thought. (Groom-Left/Bride Right) Processional or Entrance Time for those in the wedding party to enter the sanctuary. Usually the groom and the best man enter with the chaplain. Groomsmen and Bridesmaids enter escorting one another. Maid of honor follows the bridesmaids, followed by the ring bearer and follower girl. 1
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Weddings: Steps in a Wedding Ceremony
Processional or Entrance (Cont’d) After the flower girl there is a change in the music, the bride and her escort enter—All guests stand as the bride and her escort slowly walk down the aisle. The groom is watching the bride and escort come down the aisle. The escort hands off bride to groom and they approach the chaplain. *The Greeting or Welcome from LDS Chaplain At this time I would like to welcome friends, and family members of John Doe and Sally May as we gather here together to celebrate in the sight of God and these witnesses this marriage. For me, it is indeed a privilege to be part of this sacred ceremony (You can have a prayer or not) Note: The chaplain enters the sanctuary and positions himself at the front before the processional or entrance begins. He usually comes in with the Groom. *The asterisk is where the chaplain candidate begin the wedding process in class. 1
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Weddings: Steps in a Wedding Ceremony
The Greeting or Welcome/Flows into Marriage Homily and or statement on marriage (remember this flow can change if there is special music, poems, or readings). Areas the chaplain may review w/couple in giving counsel/Homily: (can be used to prepare homily) Marriage is a sacred covenant Joys of marriage: companionship, joy, trials, and tribulation The purpose of marriage, i.e., this is a permanent relationship Share a scripture—1 Corinthians 13:4-13, Faith, Hope, and Love, but the greatest of these is love. 1
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Weddings: Steps in a Wedding Ceremony
Expound on the scripture, i.e., main point, how is this passage relate to their marriage. Vows: Explain-significance of to include the importance of the ring: it’s color, covenant, circularity and the wearing of the ring. General counsel: As influenced by the Spirit. Before the homily, there may be special music, reading of a scripture, song, poems, etc. Once the chaplain begins his homily, he is in charge of the service to include the recessional (a arched saber ceremony may be added). 1
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Weddings: Vows Church handbook # Please take each other by the right hand. Chaplain repeats the bride groom’s full name and the bride’s full name….You have taken one another by the right hand in token of the covenants you will now enter into in the presence of God and these witnesses. John Doe, do you take Sally Mae as your lawfully wedded wife, and do you of your own free will and choice covenant as her companion and lawfully wedded husband that you will cleave unto her and none else; that you will observe all the laws, covenants, and obligations pertaining to the holy state of matrimony; and that you will love, honor, and cherish her as long as you both shall live? Answer: Yes or I do. Talk about when we stand up to preach we already know what we will say. It may be a manuscript or an outline. We should know the content of the sermon, its form and function and the audience who will hear the wedding homily. 1
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Weddings: Conducting the Ceremony
Church Handbook of Instructions 1 #3.5.4 Sally Mae, do you take John Doe as your lawfully wedded husband, and do you of your own free will and choice covenant as his companion and lawfully wedded wife that you will cleave unto him and none else; that you will observe all the laws, covenants, and obligations pertaining to the holy state of matrimony; and that you will love, honor , and cherish him as long as you both shall live? Answer: Yes or I do. Talk about when we stand up to preach we already know what we will say. It may be a manuscript or an outline. We should know the content of the sermon, its form and function and the audience who will hear the sermon. 1
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Weddings: Conducting the Ceremony
Ring Ceremony After the I Do’s: (not in the church handbook of instructions) The chaplain invites the groom and bride to place the wedding ring on the ring finger of the left hand: Comments that are appropriate. 1
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Weddings: Conducting the Ceremony
Church Handbook of Instruction By virtue of the legal authority vested in me as an elder of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and as a United States Military Chaplain, I pronounce you, John Doe and Sally Mae, husband and wife, legally and lawfully wedded for the period of your mortal lives. (Blessing/Benediction) May God bless your union with joy in your posterity and a long life of happiness together, and may He enable you to keep sacred the covenants you have made. These blessing I invoke upon you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen. You may kiss each other as husband and wife. Will the audience please rise, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. John and Sally Doe. (Recessional) This ends the chaplain candidates part of the ceremony that they will present. 1
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