1. How To Strengthen Personal Narratives
This PowerPoint is based on my knowledge of Jane Schaffer writing and Lucy Calkins’ strategies for writing the narrative. It is a compilation of what has worked in the process of teaching my students to write.
Write Well. Right Now.
How To Strengthen Personal Narratives
*Adapted by Lisa C. Landis for middle school students from Lucy Calkins’ Units of Study

2. Writing A Personal Narrative
Your life is not what happens to you, but your responses to what happens.
For this reason, each one of us is ultimately the author of our own lives. We do not always control what happens to us, but we control our responses to what happens.
Writing the narrative is a response to what has happened to us.

3. Telling Your Story Objectives:
Provide strategies for writing a personal narrative
Provide specific tools for deconstructing the prompt
Strategies for internal story to further your personal narrative and make it come alive.
In this session, I will help you understand some strategies for writing a personal narrative--strategies you can use on your Proficiency Exam that will increase your voice and help you write with ease.

4. Internal Story Connection:
Focusing your stories--keep your eyes on what is important.
Focus, focus, focus in order to show me, instead of just tell me.
One thing I will tell you is about the importance of focusing your stories. But some of you might be worried that if you focus too much, it will be too short! Don’t worry!
Focus, focus, focus in order to show me, instead of just tell me.

5. Attack the Prompt Narrow the prompt and make it manageable.
Put a box around the words (verbs/action words) that tell you to DO something (explain, describe, tell, etc…)
Circle any numbers that follow the actions.
Underline the key words
When you are given a writing prompt--the question that you are to write about-- you must narrow it down and make it manageable.
Put a box around the words (verbs/action words) that tell you to DO something (explain, describe, tell, etc…)
Circle any numbers that follow the actions.
Underline the key words left over that tell you specifically what the question is asking.
Boxing the prompt is called deconstructing it--the writer takes apart the question to make it manageable.

6. Attack the Prompt--Make it Small!
Here is an example:
A person’s life is filled with many good memories and experiences.
Describe a time in your life in which you were happy, and explain why you were happy at this particular time.
Put a box around the words (verbs/action words) that tell you to DO something (explain, describe, tell, etc…)
Circle any numbers that follow the actions.
Underline the key words left over that tell you specifically what the question is asking.

7. "Amusing things happen to everyone
"Amusing things happen to everyone. Sometimes we do things that are funny or something funny happens to us. Many times we see a comical thing happen to someone else. Describe an incident that happened to you or to someone else that you found very humorous."
Put a box around the words (verbs/action words) that tell you to DO something (explain, describe, tell, etc…)
Circle any numbers that follow the actions.
Underline the key words left over that tell you specifically what the question is asking.

8. Attack the Question
"You have been given the opportunity to go back in time to change one thing. What would it be and why?”
"Do you ever daydream about a place you have visited that you would like to see again? Try to imagine the details of the place clearly in your mind and then write a paper in which you describe that perfect place to your reader."
Put a box around the words (verbs/action words) that tell you to DO something (explain, describe, tell, etc…)
Circle any numbers that follow the actions.
Underline the key words left over that tell you specifically what the question is asking.

9. Tell Your Story! Ready to write your story!
First, think of a time with a person, a place, or an idea that could relate to this prompt.
List moments about this person, place, idea.
Think of just one moment--one story that illustrates your point--not a big story.
After you have “attacked” prompt, and broken it into parts, you are ready to write your story!
First, think of a time with a person, a place, or an idea that could relate to this prompt. List moments about this person, place, idea. Think of just one moment--one story that illustrates your point--not a big story.
Thinking of a time with a person, a place, or an idea is a strategy we have practiced in class. Students, after writing in their writer’s notebooks, are very comfortable with this format.

10. Tell Your Story Weekend at Disneyland Think of specific moments
If you tell the story of the whole weekend, you will be telling a “watermelon" story.
Tell me a small seed story instead-- tell me one moment, not the whole weekend.
For instance, if you are asked to write about a time you had fun, and you think of a time at Disneyland, think of specific moments about the weekend, not the entire weekend. If you tell the story of the whole weekend, you will be telling a “watermelon”story, and it will be too much.
You want to tell me a small seed story instead. You need to tell me one moment, not the whole weekend“small seed” story versus “big watermelon” story.

11. Tell Your Story Disneyland Canoe ride with the family
Sister got lost, but we found her
Indiana Jones with my son
Swimming at the Disney hotel
Exploring on Tom Sawyer’s Island
Sister got stuck in rock on Tom Sawyer’s Island
Choose one of these “moments” to write about as a reason why the time you spent in Disneyland was fun. Make this a small seed story--just describe the moment.
Here are some moments that I wrote down to narrow a trip to Disneyland. Some happened recently and some happened a long time ago. All could be turned into small seed stories! Choose one of these “moments” to write about as a reason why the time you spent in Disneyland was fun. Make this a small seed story--just describe the moment.

12. How to Tell Your Story Choose your moment
sketch what happened first, second, next, and last in your moment.
After you have chosen your moment, one strategy is to sketch what happened first, second, and last in your moment. In this way, you will remember what happened in this moment and make sure that you include all the details. Your sketch can be very brief--stick figures are great! The point of sketching is that you picture in your mind what happened first, second, next, and last. You make a movie in your mind.

13. Strategy for Narrative
A person’s life is filled with many good memories and experiences.
Describe a time in your life that was exciting, and explain why this particular experience was more exciting than any other.
Moments:
Going to Oklahoma football game--our seats
Parasailing in St. John
Riding the plunge at Silver Dollar City
Traveling to Orient Beach on St. Martin
Getting lost on the metro in Paris
Skin diving in St. John, U.S.V.I.
Deconstruct the question
List moments
Choose a moment

14. Parasailing on St. John
Small Seed Story--Quick Rough draft telling what happened first, second, and last.
Body Paragraph One:
We boarded the small ship anticipating the parasailing adventure. The guides gave us instructions on how they would hook us up in the equipment, and because the machine was automated, there were some very precise instructions. I just hoped I could remember everything I was suppose to do so that I did not get injured like the guide mentioned. We were the second couple to ride tandem, and so we eagerly watched every move that the other couple made. Finally, it was our turn to fly.
Start at the beginning of your sketch and write. Don’t worry about the introduction or ending because I am going to show you how to write a lead and ending later. Right now, just begin your story with your first sketch.

15. Jump into the narrative…
Notice that the narrative started right
in the action!
Body Paragraph 2
We boarded the small ship anticipating the parasailing adventure. The guides gave us instructions on how they would hook us up in the equipment, and because the machine was automated, there were some very precise instructions. I just hoped I could remember everything I was suppose to do so that I did not get injured like the guide mentioned. We were the second couple to ride tandem, and so we eagerly watched every move that the other couple made. Finally, it was our turn to fly.
I did not begin by restating the prompt. I did begin by starting with the beginning of my sketch.

16. Paragraph Two Body Paragraph Two:
We helped each other get hooked in the harness, sat down on the back of the boat, and suddenly we were lifting into the air. Being in the air, soaring through the sky, was incredibly fun. As I looked down, I saw giant sea turtles swimming through the crisp, bright blue water with a pod of dolphins playing nearby. It was almost soundless except the fluttering noise of the wind blowing past my ears and the parachute above. I wondered, Is this how birds feel as they fly through the air? Flying like a bird, feeling more than human, was a truly incredible moment.
Notice in italics are the feelings I am feeling--this provides internal story, which shows the reader instead of telling the reader.

17. Your finished essay will eventually have four parts:
Para. 1
Lead--your introduction using setting, action, dialogue.
Para. 2
Body Paragraph #1--Part of your small seed story.
Para. 3
Body Paragraph #2--Part of your small seed story.
Para. 4
Ending--your conclusion using setting, action, dialogue.

18. Add Setting, Action, Dialogue
Write the lead (intro) and ending (conclusion) for your essay.
A lead and ending should have: setting, action, and dialogue.
Having setting, action, and dialogue will hook your reader.
Once you have created the body paragraphs, you can write the lead and ending for your essay.
A lead and ending should have setting, action, and dialogue.
If you cannot get these in both your lead and your ending, definitely try to include them in your lead…because that is what will hook your reader.

19. You Try…
A person’s life is filled with many good memories and experiences. Describe a time in your life that was exciting, and explain why this particular experience was more exciting than any other.
Deconstruct--take apart--the prompt and use the strategies for writing the narrative. List moments that could be considered exciting, choose one to write about, sketch what happened first, second, and last. Follow the sketches to write two body paragraphs that follow the movie in your mind.
Let’s look at this prompt together…

20. Next Step
Once you have written what happened first, second, and last, and made a movie in your mind of the action in the narrative, it is time to construct the lead (introduction) and ending (conclusion).
Add your lead and ending to the small seed story that you have written. Then revise it all to create a the perfect personal narrative. Easy, right?

21. The Lead How do you begin the lead of a personal narrative?
Authors often begin by adding setting, action, and dialogue. You can do this in any order, but try and include all of these things in the lead to make it exciting and capture your reader’s attention. Let’s try…

22. What if I deleted this part?
The Lead
What if I deleted this part?
I have had many experiences that I can describe as exciting and fun. On a warm summer day, on the Virgin Island of St. John, when I yelled “Sure let’s go parasailing!” who would have known I was going to experience the most excitement of my life.
In this lead (introduction), I address the question, provide setting, action, and brief dialogue.
What if you took off what was in between the yellow lines? Would the narrative be better or worse? Ask the kids to look at this closely and discuss it with them.

23. The Conclusion
Again, like the lead, include setting, action, dialogue and wrap up my narrative about an exciting time of my life.
Ending:
As I flew through the air, I stated to my husband “Is this just one of the best times in your life?” He agreed happily, as we slowly descended towards the ship, back to reality, with a new appreciation for adventure and excitement.

24. Put It All Together
On a warm summer day, on the Virgin Island of St. John, when I yelled “Sure let’s go parasailing!” who would have known I was going to experience the most excitement of my life.
We boarded the small ship anticipating the parasailing adventure. The guides gave us instructions on how they would hook us up in the equipment, and because the machine was automated, there were some very precise instructions. I just hoped I could remember everything I was suppose to do so that I did not get injured like the guide mentioned. We were the second couple to ride tandem, and so we eagerly watched every move that the other couple made. Finally, it was our turn to fly.
We helped each other get hooked in the harness, sat down on the back of the boat, and suddenly we were lifting into the air. Being in the air, soaring through the sky, was incredibly fun. As I looked down, I saw giant sea turtles swimming through the crisp, bright blue water with a pod of dolphins playing nearby. It was almost soundless except the fluttering noise of the wind blowing past my ears and the parachute above. I wondered, Is this how birds feel as they fly through the air? Flying like a bird, feeling more than human, was a truly incredible moment.
As I flew through the air, I stated to my husband “Is this just one of the best times in your life?” He agreed happily, as we slowly descended towards the ship, back to reality, with a new appreciation for adventure and excitement
Read this to the students, or better yet, have a class set that they can work with a partner and notice the strategies that have been incorporated in this narrative essay.

25. Let’s Practice Deconstruct the prompt.
Think of moments from your life that illustrate what is being asked--make a list of these moments.
Choose one moment and sketch what happened first, second, last.
Then write your story of what happened first, second, and last by making a movie in your mind.
Write your lead (introduction) and ending (conclusion) by including setting, action, and dialogue.
Write your lead and ending AFTER your body paragraphs are completed.

26. Internal Story You have learned: How to deconstruct the prompt
How to write the small seed
How to write the lead and ending using setting, action, dialogue

27. Internal Story
The next strategy is to learn how to write the internal story
Internal story:
develops voice
shows instead of just tells the story
depicts your feelings and develops ideas
It is the commentary in your narrative writing!

28. Internal Story Internal story happens when you say:
I wonder… this reminds me…I thought about… It happens when you include narrative aspects in your writing. In the past, a teacher might have told you to get to the point when you tell your story. Now, we want you to use these ideas and thoughts to develop and tell your story.
You can add internal story to your rough draft as a way of revising it.
A way to tell your story and develop your voice--the personality in your writing-- is to include internal story in your writing. Essentially, this is the commentary portion of the narrative essay. The goal is to push their thinking by extending commentary.

29. Internal Story
In a story, I can run, spin, climb, yell, dig, clamor, but I can also yearn, fantasize, remember, regret, worry, and imagine
When I pause in the middle of a draft to re-read my writing, I sometimes say to myself, “Let me re-read and pay attention to whether I’ve told the internal as well as the external story.” The internal story is how I feel.

30. Internal Story
I have had many experiences that I can describe as exciting and fun. On a warm summer day, on the Virgin Island of St. John, when I yelled “Sure let’s go parasailing!” who would have known I was going to experience the most excitement of my life.
We boarded the small ship anticipating the parasailing adventure. The guides gave us instructions on how they would hook us up in the equipment, and because the machine was automated, there were some very precise instructions. I just hoped I could remember everything I was suppose to do so that I did not get injured like the guide mentioned. We were the second couple to ride tandem, and so we eagerly watched every move that the other couple made. Finally, it was our turn to fly.
We helped each other get hooked in the harness, sat down on the back of the boat, and suddenly we were lifting into the air. Being in the air, soaring through the sky, was incredibly fun. As I looked down, I saw giant sea turtles swimming through the crisp, bright blue water with a pod of dolphins playing nearby. It was almost soundless except the fluttering noise of the wind blowing past my ears and the parachute above. I wondered, Is this how birds feel as they fly through the air? Flying like a bird, feeling more than human, was a truly incredible moment.
As I flew through the air, I stated to my husband “Is this just one of the best times in your life?” He agreed happily, as we slowly descended towards the ship, back to reality, with a new appreciation for adventure and excitement.
How I feel is in italics,

31. Our Lives Are Not Just What Happens To Us…
A great writer named Theodore Roethke said to me (actually, he wrote this but I pretend he said it to me), “Lisa”, he said, “It is an illusion that writers live more significant lives than non-writers. Writers are just more in the habit of finding the significance that is there in their lives.”
So, to that extent, you will write, write, and write in order to become comfortable with writing in my class.

32. Internal Story
These are hugely important words to me because it means that I can write about any moment in my life--a climb to the top of The Eiffel Tower, the day my little sister got into an elevator and it took off without us, or a time when our dog, Itsy, was really bad--and I can make that moment carry the biggest truths of my life. You can do the same!

33. Bringing Forth The Internal Story
Specifically, I want to teach you that if I’m going to write not only what happens but my response to what happens, then much of story will be the internal story, and not just the external one.

34. Internal Story
At the start of the lesson, I suggested that our lives are made up of not only what happens to us but also our responses to what happens to us.
As writers, this means that we pause in our actions and ask “What was I thinking?” We offer our readers clues to reveal our thoughts and feelings. This is especially true in the heart of our stories.

35. Follow-up
Tonight for homework, your job is to re-read your draft and find the heart of your story, Re-read each part of the narrative and ask “What was I thinking/feeling?” Check that you give clues that reveal your thoughts and feelings. If you haven’t included clues that reveal your thoughts and feelings, you will need to add some tonight.

36. Qualities of Good Personal Narratives
Write a little seed story; don’t write all about a giant watermelon story.
Zoom in so you tell the most important parts of the story.
Include true, exact details from the movie you have in your mind.
Stay inside your own point of view. This will help you write with true and exact details.
Make sure stories tell not just what happens, but also the response to what happens.