1. Analyzing Thesis Statements
From our Much Ado essays

2. As a reminder…This is the prompt:
The function of deceit: A central theme in Shakespeare’s Much Ado about Nothing revolves around trickery or deceit, whether for good or evil purposes…
Who hides and what is hidden? How does deceit function in the world of the play, and how does it help the play comment on life in general?

3. What’s good? Bad? Missing?
The most influential example of deceit in the play is Don’ John’s. His and other’s deceit help bring out the theme.
The truth of Hero’s virginity is hidden with the lie of not being a virgin which demonstrates the deceitfulness in Don John’s accusations and ruins Hero’s reputation.
Despite the fictional elements of the play, as Shakespeare’s contrasts the positive and negative functions of deceit, he presents the authentic human nature to gossip and/or embrace denial, both of which often evade the truth in order to pleasure oneself.
What theme? Too vague. What about the “good” side of deceit? What about the comment on life in general?
In addition to being oddly phrased, this is simply a statement of fact, not a thesis statement. It begs the question, “SO WHAT?” Also, where is the comment on life in general?
Aside from obvious grammatical problems and unintentionally humorous phrasing, the author of this thesis is on the right path. He is trying to address the prompt, but has lost his way. He needs to be more specific (funnel) and he really needs to work on syntax.

4. What’s good? Bad? Missing?
4. As proven in the play, trickery and deceit always has a dramatic and irreversible outcome. Whether the intentions are innocent or devious, deceit always has a major impact on the lives of the affected because trust, admiration, love, identity, etc. is torn apart by trickery and the concealing of information revealing how easily one can be mislead with deceit. 5. Through deceit, the true nature and feelings of characters are revealed demonstrating how deceit exist in many forms in the world people live in today. 6. Their friends hide the truth, and trick Benedick and Beatrice into at the end loving each other, the friends had no idea that the play they were doing was going to be an outcome of love.
4. Always avoid using always (and never use never ). This author is on the right path but has some confusing phrasing and incorrect grammar.
5. Way too vague + grammatical error.
6. This is NOT a thesis. It is an (incorrect) summary of plot points. No discernable stance on the topic.

5. What’s good? Bad? Missing?
7. Deceit’s function in the play made everybody’s ideas, about each other, change causing reader’s to understand that deceit harms the people they are doing it to. 8.Benedicks and Beatrices friends’ were able to use trickery in order for love to transpire between them because it started out as a joke and what can seem funny at one point can turn very serious. 9. In the play, the theme of deceit and trickery plays a huge role amongst the characters due to the fact that it deceives them into believing what is not truly there.
7. This author suffers from odd comma usage and lack of specificity. She is too vague – needs to mention the two sides of deceit and specific characters.
8. Obviously the apostrophe abuse must stop. Additionally, this author is essentially summarizing the action and hoping that her reader will infer an implied thesis statement. She needs to be specific and contestable. She also needs to look at both sides of deceit (good/evil). I saw A LOT of this.
9. Way, way, way too vague.

6. And last but not least…
10. Deception plays a crucial role in the play and demonstrates how in life, lying is not beneficial. 11.Many of the characters try to deceit their feelings which it is not being helpfull to them at all. 12. The characters often display some form of trickery or secrecy. Through that theme, Shakespeare shows his readers that secrecy and deceit have two sides: disaster and happiness, which depicts that hiding and lying is a crucial part in life.
Obvious; incomplete
I don’t know what to say – this is not a thesis
The author has some strengths, but “trickery” is not a theme, this lacks specificity, and why is lying a crucial part of life?

7. Let me take a stab at it. I will give myself no more than 2 minutes to draft this:
Shakespeare uses deceit to create both comedy and drama in Much Ado about Nothing. While characters such as Beatrice’s and Benedick’s friends engage in playful trickery intended for harmless fun, Don John deceives to cause pain and chaos. Ultimately, the reader understands that deceit is neither good nor evil: it is the intention behind it that determines its outcome.
Okay: Did I answer the prompt? (How does deceit function in the world of the play and how does it comment on life in general).
Is it contestable? Have I given my reader a guide to my essay? Does my house have a foundation?
Is there a “how” and “why”? Is there a “So What”?

8. When given a limited amount of time…
We are NOT looking for perfection in a timed essay. Neither are the AP readers. We are looking for an identifiable thesis that responds to the prompt and serves as a guide to the argument you’ll make in your paper.
My thesis had to be written quickly, just like yours (actually, you had an entire night to write your thesis, but that’s not the point right now) and as such is far from perfect – but it gives the reader what he/she needs to see where I’m going with my essay.
You must keep working on developing this skill. With practice and reflection you will improve.