1. …the give & take between people
Social Intelligence
…the give & take between people

2. Social Intelligence
the ability to get along well with others, and to get them to cooperate with you
being aware of how what we say and do affects others
“people skills”

3. The messages we send…
A little girl finds her puzzle frustrating. She asks her busy mother for help…
What are two opposite reactions the mother could have?
What message does each reaction send the child?

4. The messages we send…
A little boy is at the park. He notices some other boys playing with toys in the sand. He really wants to join the group.
The boy could jump right in, grab a toy and begin to play OR he could watch for awhile, ask a couple of questions and wait for an invitation.
What message does each approach send the others? Which one is likely to be more successful? Why?

5. Consider this…
One of the biggest human needs is acceptance, a great fear is rejection.
Our emotions are contagious – other people make us feel better or worse OR we make them fell better or worse. This fact has vast implications for our day-to-day lives because it matters biologically for our health. Daniel Goleman

6. The Spectrum
Karl Albrecht classifies behavior toward others as falling somewhere on a spectrum between
"toxic" effect and "nourishing" effect.

7. Toxic Effect
Toxic behavior makes people feel devalued, angry, frustrated, guilty or otherwise inadequate.
A continued pattern of toxic behavior indicates a low level of social intelligence - the inability to connect with people and influence them effectively.

8. Nourishing Effect
Nourishing behavior makes people feel valued, respected, affirmed, encouraged or competent.
A continued pattern of nourishing behavior tends to make a person much more effective in dealing with others; nourishing behaviors are the indicators of high social intelligence.

9. Social Radar
A good social radar allows us to sense what others are feeling through their tone of voice, facial expression or other non-verbal ways like posture.
Attempting to put ourselves “in the other person’s shoes” is known as empathy. We can then respond to their concerns or feelings.

10. Understanding Others People with this competence
Are attentive to emotional cues and listen well
Show sensitivity and understand others’ perspectives
Help out based on understanding other people’s needs and feelings

11. Developing Others People with this competence
Acknowledge and reward people’s strengths and accomplishments
Offer useful feedback

12. The messages we send…

13. The messages we send…
A good friend is explaining to you that they are concerned their parents are headed for divorce. In the middle of the conversation, your cell phone notifies you of a text message…
Your response to the text sends a clear message to your friend. Put yourself in their shoes…

14. The messages we send… How is your friend feeling?
Why did they tell you what was going on?
If you ignore the text, what message are you sending?
If you read the text, how does that make your friend feel?

15. The official training manual…
The Bible is the "social skills training manual."
Think of how "socially skilled" a person would be if they were as the Bible teaches--kind, forgiving, generous, gracious, thoughtful of others, hospitable, cheerful, humble, loving, honest, hard-working, and trustworthy!