1. The fifth commandment - Honour your Father and Mother
If I had a commandment, a law - for example, You can not eat durian.
What are some of the questions you may have with this command/law?
Who is giving the command?
Who is it for?
This command was given in my dad’s house when we were growing up.
He hates durian and the smell of durian.
So we were never allowed to buy it and bring it into the house.
There are airlines that do not allow you to bring durians on board.
As well as hotels.
Who is giving the law?
And who is the law given to as well as the context is very important.
Because in understanding the context will help us in application.
My dad’s laws are just for his children, hence you don’t apply it to every other house.
The airlines are just for when flying, so you don’t apply it for other situations.
So we have this commandment here from God.
Honour your father and mother.
Who is giving the commandment? And who is it given to?
God is giving the commandment and it’s given to his people the Israelites roughly about 3500 years ago.
God had chosen them as his very own people and had just rescued them from being slaves in Egypt.
And they are travelling in the wilderness and they are now at mount Sinai.
And God has promised to give them a rich land to live in.
And these commandments are given so that after they enter the promise land, they would live his way.
Different to the nations around them.
It’s in this context that we get the 10 commandments.
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2. Hiếu Kính cha mẹ 1. Honour 2. Obey or not obey 3. Live long
And hence I have 3 points
1. Honour
2. Obey or not obey
3. Live long

3. Honour
Luke 3:23-38
Jesus, when he began his ministry, was about thirty years of age, being the son ... of Joseph, the son of Heli, 24 the son of Matthat, the son of Levi, the son of Melchi, the son of ...Enos, the son of Seth, the son of Adam, the son of God.
1. Honour
Please look with me at -
Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
(Ex. 20:12 ESVi)
In the original Hebrew language, the word for honour has the meaning of being ‘weighty, important, precious, lifted up’.
The same word is also used in the bible (proverbs 3:9) when it talks about honouring God.
Hence to honour your father and mother is to value them, see them as weighty, important, precious, lifted up.
We are to honour or Father and mother in a sense, like God, but not to worship them as gods because there is only one God.
And I think God has instituted this, Father and mother, to teach us about him and how to relate to him
Because God is our ultimate Father.
He is the first Father.
And he created man in his image, like him.
Adam and Eve.
He was their Father.
We read this in the genealogy of Jesus from Luke.
Luke 3:23-38
Jesus, when he began his ministry, was about thirty years of age, being the son ... of Joseph, the son of Heli, 24 the son of Matthat, the son of Levi, the son of Melchi, the son of ...Enos, the son of Seth, the son of Adam, the son of God.
Adam is the son God.
And Jesus when he teaches the disciples how to pray, commonly known as the Lord’s Prayer - also tells his disciples to refer to God as Father.
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4. Honour
Ex 21:15
Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death.
Mat 6:9-10
Pray then like this:
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven...
Mat 6:9-10
Pray then like this:
“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.10
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
God is the first and ultimate Father.
We can call God God other father.
I think God instituted father and motherhood for us to learn, to know him and to relate to him.
And hence his command is for us to honour our fathers and mothers so that we can know him and honour him.
In Asian cultures in general, especially in Vietnam, you put your parents very high.
And I think it’s biblical to put them that high, that weighty, important.
You get passage like this in the old testament.
Ex 21:15
“Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death.
Do you think this happens?
It does.
Hopefully not alot
There are video clips where children do beat their parents.
Strike their parents, especial with old parents.
Ok, so maybe we don’t strike our parents.
But Ex 21:17
“Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.
Do we do that, curse our parents?
Very strong words, major consequence
Shall be put to death.
We are to honour our parents, hold them up very high.
Very important.
And I don’t think this just applies when our parents you still young, fit and healthy.
They will get old, 60, 70, 80, 90.
My dads just turned 85
He’s not as strong as he used to be.
He doesn’t get things the way he used to.
It’s can be easy to get frustrated with him and fall into dishonouring him.
We are to honour our parents all the time.
I think ‘honouring’ is an attitude.
It comes from the heart.
Or mind.
We have an honouring attitude.
Because outwardly, you may do things that can be interpreted as honouring, but in your mind, your attitude, it’s not honouring at all.
Like in Vietnam, and many asian cultures, they hold their pastors very high.
They are to honour their pastors.
And they can do that outwardly, call you pastor, muc siiir, bow, respect etc.
But inwardly think differently.
Honouring is an attitude.
And if you always have an honouring attitude to your parents, then the outward workings of that will naturally come.
Hold them important, significant the way we would honour God all the time.
But we should have two checks in place.
The first is, they are not gods, they are fallible, not perfect.
They and everyone of us, have been affected by the fall, sin.
We are all sinful people.
Hence you can have bad fathers and mothers.
And they can be wrong.
And hence it can be hard sometimes to honour our parents if we disagree with them or think they are wrong.
I will talk about this more in the next point, obey or not obey.
The second check is, even though we are to hold them high, important, honour them, we do not put them above God, our ultimate Father.
This relates to my next point.
Obey or not obey.
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Ex 21:17
Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death.

5. Obey or not obey?
Col. 3:20
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Eph 6:1-2
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise)...
Point 2
Obey or not obey
Do we have to obey our parents in everything, like every circumstance and everything they tell us to do or not do?
Is it therefore dishonouring and therefore not obeying God’s commandment if we don’t always obey our parents?
There are these verse in the bible.
Eph 6:1-2
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
(Col. 3:20 ESVi)
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Have to obey God.
Now the word children can be interpreted as little children.
If this is the case, then it’s only little children that are to obey their parents in everything.
But it can be interpreted as children in general, that is everyone is a child of their parents, hence everyone is to obey their parents.
Now I don’t really think it’s that important whether it’s talking about little children or grown ups.
I think the context tells us how we are to apply the obeying our parents.
So if you have your bibles, just skim quickly with me Ephesians 5 and 6.
Ephesians 5, from verses 22 onwards talks about husbands and wives.
Then over to Ephesians 6, Paul talks about children, fathers, bondservants in a house with their masters.
And it’s similar in Colossians 3 from verses 18 onwards.
About husbands and wives, children and being servants in a house.
Hence, with regards to obeying or not obeying your parents, if you are living in your parents house, you have to live by their rules.
Nothing wrong with negotiating certain things as you get older, but you are to obey them in everything under their roof.
So if you move out of home, then you don’t have to obey them in everything.
Especially if you start your own family.
Gen 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Before a man takes his own wife, he is still part of his fathers and mothers family.
But after he marries, he and she, are to leave their fathers and mothers and hence start up their own families.
And at this stage, it’s a new household, you don’t live with your old family anymore but your new one.
Hence you don’t have to obey your parents in everything under their rood anymore.
But you still have to honour them.
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Gen 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

6. Vâng lời cha mẹ? Matthew 10:37 Luke. 14:26
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Luke. 14:26
If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.
But in terms of obeying our parents, we also need to take into account some of the things Jesus says.
Luke. 14:26
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.
And similar in
Matthew 10:37
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
I don’t think Jesus is literally telling people to hate their parents, because that would be contradicting the commandment about honouring your parents.
What Jesus wants to communicate is, God is above all.
God is Father above all.
And hence to love father or mother, or even children more than God is not worthy of God.
As Christians, God is the one we worship and honour above all things.
Hence hence, obedience to God is also above all things.
God’s commands, our ultimate Father’s commands are above the commands of our parents.
So if our parents tells us to do something, we need to ask whether it contradicts or is opposed to something that God would want us to do.
We are to obey God over our parents.
In the Chinese/Vietnamese culture that I grew up in.
Obedience to my parents was part of the culture.
Rolled in with honour, respect and obedience.
What ever your parents tells you do to, you were to obey.
They were right no matter what.
But that’s not biblical.
God is the one that is always right.
Not my parents.
Obey God more than my parents.
My parents are not Christian.
They forbade me from going to church.
I went anyway because God above parents.
They forbade me to go to bible college.
I went anyway because that’s what I thought God wanted me to do.
In the churches in Vietnam, and many places around the world, even here in Sydney, there are generally more women then men in the churches.
In Vietnam, when a woman gets beyond 25 years old, they have this term which conveys the meaning that she is past her used by date.
Yes, it’s horrible.
There’s a lot of pressure upon women in Vietnam to get married.
There is pressure from their families and unfortunately, pressure from the churches too.
The parents will often take a hand in finding the girl a husband.
And often times, they are not Christian.
So do the girls obey their parents or obey God.
We see this from 1 Corinthians 7
1 Cor 7:39-40
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
In the apostle Paul’s day, they didn’t have dating.
The parents would arrange for their kids who they were to marry.
That was their responsibility.
After that, they don’t have anymore responsibilities in this area.
So in this passage, after the husband dies, the woman is free to marry, but notice what God’s word says, whoever she chooses but only in the Lord.
That is only to marry believers.
Christians are only to marry believers.
I would also say Christians should only date believers if they intend to find a husband or wife.
Why have the intention of dating an unbeliever if you don’t intend to marry them?
We are to put God or heavenly, ultimate Father before our earthly fathers and mothers.
Obey him above our earthly parents.
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1 Cor 7:39
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

7. Live long Last point How long do you want to live?
Here’s a picture of the oldest person alive today.
Kane Tanaka. 115 years old

8. Sống lâu
Eph 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
Look back at Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
Remember the context?
Israel is at mount Sinai
God is giving them the commandments on how to live when they enter the promised land
So the commands here are for Israel as they enter the promised land
And the commandment here when it talks about the land is directly referring to the land that God is going to give them.
It’s not talking about living a long life.
The Israelites, because they didn’t obey God’s commands, were later conquered and taken into exile.
They didn’t live long in the land.
So it’s not talking about us having long lives if we honour our parents.
This passage is also quoted in Eph 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
And I still think here it’s referring to the land of Israel and not about us having long lives
Because I know of a number of people who do honour their parents, but didn’t live to old age.
Ok.
Summarise
Honouring your parents is an attitude that we are to have all the time.
But honouring is not the same as obeying
And we are to honour God and obey him above our parents.