1. Everyone Wins Problem Solving
Unlocking the Future of Friendship Force Joint Regional Conference
Covington, Ky
April 20-21, 2018

2. Effective Communication
Communication is a complex process. There are many levels to each message we send and many ways of sending them.
Good communication skills have been found to be a major contributor to success in most areas of endeavor.
Higher productivity
Higher satisfaction
Higher self-esteem
Greater cooperation
Danial Goleman, Emotional Intelligence

3. Communication Things to consider Eye contact Body language Attention
Intention
Environment
Observation skills
Use open-ended questions (“Tell me more”, ”How did you feel?” ) and
pay attention to feelings expressed.

4. L I S T E N ! Communication Don’t spend the time thinking of what you
will say next ! Pay attention to the total message that is being conveyed to you.

5. Communication
Don’t be afraid of silence.

6. Confrontation
When there is a problem and the setting is appropriate—Confront
the problem—don’t just hope it will go away.
Success is not absence of conflict. Conflict is inevitable among people who think and feel.
Success is using a process to come to a place of satisfaction and problem resolution for all parties involved

7. How to confront and avoid anger
An effective confrontation statement contains three parts (in any order). Statement of the problem from your point of view Your feelings about the problem. The negative effect the problem has on you.

8. Examples of confrontation
Chuck, when you leave dirty dishes I feel angry because I also do not like cleaning up—especially other people’s messes.
Sally, when you don’t help clean up after our meetings, it makes more work for me and everyone else and I feel really annoyed.

9. Practice The problem Your feelings about the problem
The effect of the problem on you.
From Thomas Gordon

10. Conflict
Conflict happens when needs are not met. Since we all have different needs, conflict is inevitable.
The absence of conflict is not “success”.
Success is when conflict is resolved to the satisfaction of all parties directly concerned.

11. Conflict Resolution
Conflict resolution begins with intentions (what you make happen) as opposed to wishes (what you would like to happen). It requires a plan.
Conflict resolution also requires uninterrupted time.
Everyone Wins Problem Solving requires good listening skills.

12. The Plan Steps in resolving conflict
Agree on a time and place to meet.
Meet in a quiet, private area. Bring paper and pens.
Be open to surprises.
Check your intentions.

13. Steps
1. Set up a comfortable space with needed supplies (water, paper, etc)
2. Use a three part confrontation statement.
3. Write down what you and the other person needs.
4. Write down all the possible solutions you both have which might meet both needs.
5. Either party can cross out any proposed solution which does not meet their need.
From Thomas Gordon

14. Steps cont’
Of the remaining steps, choose the one which seem most likely to solve the problem for both parties.
Try the chosen solution and set a not-too-distant time to meet and evaluate the outcome.
Celebrate….or if it didn’t work go back to Step 3 and repeat the steps.
Check in periodically to make sure everyone is still satisfied.
If not, tweek the solution by using the previous steps.
From Thomas Gordon

15. Conflict resolution
This process can be used with small groups, large groups or classes, and families.
People who learn this process tend to teach it to others by example.

16. P R A C T I C E the process—it will become more natural and easy to use.

17. Thank You Presented by Sandra H Small, Ed.D, Psychologist