1. Seek First to Understand then be Understood
HABIT #5
Seek First to Understand then be Understood

2. The deepest need of the
human is to be
understood.

3. Habit #5 LISTEN then SPEAK!!!
Seeing things from another’s point of view before showing your own.
Everyone wants to be respected
LISTEN then SPEAK!!!

4. Are you feeling me?? 7%
40%
53%
Genuine listening is about getting inside another person’s mind and heart.

5. Poor Listening vs. Good Listening
Spacing out
Pretending (yah yah, uh huh)
Selective – only hear what you want to hear.
Word – pick a word you hear and go with another story.
Self Centered
1st listen to what they are not saying
Stand in their shoes
Practice mirroring – paraphrasing (repeat what the other person is saying back to them in your own words)

6. ACTIVITY Find a partner
For one minute, just practice listening to your partner describe:
- where they were born
- what they’re proud of
- greatest fear in life
Change roles
REMEMBER

7. Share Aha’s! and Challenges

8. Please Listen When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.
and you begin to tell why
I shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
and you feel you have to do
something to solve my problem,
you have failed me,
strange as that may seem.
Listen! All that I ask is that you
listen.
Don’t talk or do – just hear me.
And if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn –
and I will listen to you.

9. CR#2: Please Listen
What’s the main message of please listen? Give 2 details to support your answer.

10. PRACTICE
See how long you can keep eye contact with someone while they are talking to you.
Next time you’re at the mall, observe the way people communicate with each other. Observe what their body language is saying.
Sometime this week, ask your mom or dad how they’re doing - - open your heart and practice genuine listening.