1. Teen Dating Violence Presented By: Det. Mark Deaton & Det. Sandie Esters, Longmont Police Department and Courtney McAlister, Safe Shelter of St. Vrain Valley LEVI Quarterly Training February 9, 2011 Messages in the Media

2. Agenda Discuss how relationship abuse is different for teenagers. Examine what the media teaches teenagers about relationships. Discuss what you can do and how to encourage teens to become critical consumers of media.

3. Teenage Development Middle Adolescence Ages 14 to 16 Late Adolescence Ages 17 to 19 Development of sense of identity Growth of capacity to think abstractly Risk-taking behavior Enormous influence of peers/school environment Peer groups gradually give way to one-on-one friendships and romances Sense of identity established Capacity for abstract thought in place Capacity for realistic risk assessment Family influence more in balance with peer influence Serious intimate relationships begin to develop

4. Death Rape and Domestic Violence Unwanted Sexual Touch Unwanted Physical Touch Invasions of Space Objectification/Dehumanization Attitudes and Beliefs Pyramid of Violence

5. Electronic media are among the most profound influences on children in this country. …this intersects with many other issues that are critically important to child health, including violence, obesity, tobacco/alcohol use, and risky sexual behaviors. Christakis & Zimmerman, University of Washington, Seattle

6. Eminem and Rihanna I love the way you lie (Opening song at 2010 VMAs)

7. Lyrics Who's that dude? I don't even know his name I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again I guess I don't know my own strength

8. Lyrics Now you're getting fucking sick of looking at 'em You swore you'd never hit 'em, Never do nothing to hurt 'em Now you're in each other's face Spewing venom in your words when you spit them You push pull each other's hair, scratch claw hit 'em Throw 'em down pin 'em

9. Discussion What is the intended message? What is the actual message? Cycle of Violence

10. Boston Public Health Top 10 Songs Portraying Unhealthy Relationships

11. The Twilight Saga Movie Clip

12. Obsession Possessiveness Jealousy Threats Pressure Stalking Mood swings Lies Isolation Changing who you are Orders and commands Dangerous The Twilight Saga What is Love?

13. In Contrast, Love … Is basically calm, rather than frantic. Is a friendship and a physical attraction. Accepts the need for space and freedom Allows for differences of opinion. Doesn t force anybody to make a commitment before they re ready to. Allows time for people to get to know each other. Won t destroy them if they break up. Allows equal sharing of power and control. Doesn t make unrealistic demands.

14. Reality TV Jersey Shore Teen Mom

16. Discussion Does the media promote healthy relationships?

17. Technology

18. Cell Phones Technology is almost always involved in TDV. Cell phones are lifelines for teens Incidents will often start through means of technology (texting, Facebook posts) Incident will then escalate from phones/internet to face to face encounters, etc.

19. Cell Phones, cont. Many applications available Stalking, automated calling, spoofing Cell phone technology allows for anonymous calls and text Teens dont delete items from their phone Teens tech IQ is very high, but their emotional IQ is much lower

20. Images in Print Media

23. Who is the intended audience? What is the intended message? What is the actual message? What beliefs and attitudes is the message reinforcing or encouraging? Use music, movies, books, etc. as a way to engage in conversation about relationships Ask…

24. Contact Information Det. Mark Deaton, Longmont Police Department Mark.Deaton@ci.longmont.co.us 303.651.8517 Det. Sandie Esters, Longmont Police Department Sandra.Esters@ci.longmont.co.us 303.774.4720 Courtney McAlister, Safe Shelter of St. Vrain Valley courtney@safeshelterofstvrain.org 303. 772.0432