1. The Minister’s Personal Life
Min. Yolanda Chambers

2. Agenda Overview The Minister’s Personal Life Conclusion Questions
In Relation to Self
In Relation to Family
In Relation to Finances
In Relation to Sex
Conclusion
Questions

3. Overview
In this Chapter we will see how the minister’s personal life impacts his/her ministry
We will explore four areas of vulnerability for the Christian, especially for the minister

4. The Minister’s Personal Life
Both the nation and the corporate world need the assurance that their leaders act with integrity
Christians and churches need to be assured that their ministers have integrity
A minister’s ministry is built on the trust that people have in his or her spiritual and ethical wholeness

5. The Minister’s Personal Life
When integrity is missing, the ministry is in danger
Integrity appears in a minister’s personal life and conduct

6. The Minister’s Personal Life
Integrity in a minister’s personal life is intentional
It does not just happen because of an individuals commitment to ministry
The minister must work at being a person of integrity in his or her personal life

7. In Relation to Self Self-Esteem
Minister’s are people before they are ministers
A positive self-concept and appropriate self- esteem are essential for a healthy, effective ministry.

8. In Relation to Self Self-Esteem
Persons called to clergy live always in tension between two realities
Their Humanity
Who they are and what they are
Their best and their worst
Their gifts and their limits
The Special demands of their calling
Walter Weist and Elwyn Smith

9. In Relation to Self Self-Esteem Ego Underassertiveness
An inflated ego is a problem for ministers
Because they command attention from others
They have authority over others
Underassertiveness
Their ego is so small that humility becomes a vice
People have difficulty leading a congregation
People have difficulty confronting others

10. In Relation to Self Self-Esteem Role Identity
Plagues those who cannot find personal identity outside their ministry
They define their lives entirely in terms of their ministerial vocation

11. In Relation to Self Health Lifestyle
Minister’s must also pay attention to physical health
Nutrition, rest, exercise and recreation combine to enrich one’s health
Lifestyle
The lifestyle of a minister is another important element in his/her total witness.
The lifestyle of the minister should confirm, rather than contradict the gospel you proclaim.
Doulos – “servant” or “slave”

12. In Relation to Self Spiritual Growth
The minister is a ministering person as well as a pilgrim of faith
Continual spiritual growth is as important for a minister as it is a parishioner (1 Cor. 9:24-27)
Education does not end with seminary.
Learning is a lifelong activity.
Common spiritual disciplines the ministers recommend to others must become their practice if their lives are to ring true.
The secret of an effective ministry is continual growth of the minister.

13. In Relation to Family
The family is a very important ingredient in a minister’s life.
Ministerial Qualifications
(1 Tim. 3:1-11; Titus 1:6-9)
Divorce
Avoid at all costs
Quality of marriage
Must be healthy
Children
The ministers high visibility can impact their children

14. In Relation to Family
Time spent together is the key ingredient for a happy home
Protect the time you have with your family
A factor to a successful family life is commitment

15. In Relation to Family The Single Minister
Their should really be no difference seen between the single minister and a married minister in regards to serving the church
A single minister should exercise great care when dating a church member
The relationship
Can cause rumors and innuendoes within the church
Impact the families, friends and the individuals involved
Impact the church
Should be done with discretion
As always the same ethical principles and personal integrity apply to the life of the minister

16. In Relation to Finances
Managing Money
Essential skills for Christian ministers
The discipline to plan a budget
The ability to live within a budget
The art of balancing a checkbook
The ability to handle finances responsibly can be seen as a spiritual discipline

17. In Relation to Finances
Christian stewardship
A minister should practice the basic principles of Christian money management, beginning with Christian stewardship
The tithe is the biblical standard and a minimum starting point for Christian Stewardship. (Mal. 3:10)
A minister should also practice responsible handling of debt. (Romans 13:8)

18. In Relation to Finances
Practicing what you preach
As a basic practice, the minister should consistently practice also what they preach about stewardship
God has called you to be a leader, even in your giving
Your faith in God is directly tied to your integrity in ministry
Stewardship is more than just money, it involves the self. It is the total response of an individual to the grace of God.

19. In Relation to Sex
Clergy sexual abuse has become such a major problem in ministerial ethics
In 1984 a survey was given where, among four major denominational groups, 37.15% of the respondents acknowledged that they had engaged in “inappropriate sexual behavior for a minister”.
12% admitted to having had sexual intercourse with a member of their congregation

20. In Relation to Sex Causes of sexual misconduct
Sexual predators who prey on others
Sex addicts
Overly compassionate, people-oriented people
Ministers who have a longing to be loved, to be idolized, or to be god-like
Emotionally insecure persons
Transference
The process in which people project their own needs onto an idealized figure
Countertransference
The minister projects his or her unmet needs on to someone else.

21. In Relation to Sex
Tim LaHaye’s three “forces that can lead to sexual sin”:
The Power of sexual attraction
The Power of seductive women/men
The Power of emotional bonding
LaHaye’s attitudes that can lead to a moral fall:
Pride
Resistance to accountability
Anger
The press for success
The drive to fulfill goals
Work, work, work

22. In Relation to Sex
In most cases, ministers who are vulnerable to sexual misconduct act out this behavior with those closest to them-church staff or members of the congregation.

23. In Relation to Sex Consequences of Sexual Misconduct
Loss of
Self-esteem
Position
Respect in the community
His/her children
Financial security
His/her partner
In view of these consequences, it is at great personal risk that a minister yields to sexual temptation
The losses detailed above do not include the damage to lives, the church, ministry at large and the larger work of Christ

24. In Relation to Sex Prevention of Sexual Misconduct
Setting professional boundaries within relationships
Code of ethics to be established to regulate ministry relationships
Avoiding compromising situations

25. In Relation to Sex Abstain from all appearance of evil
(1 Thess. 5:22)
Use G. Lloyd Rediger’s “PREVENT” acronym for preventing clergy sexual misconduct:
Preparation
Regularity
Evaluation
Value
Excellence
Network
Terror

26. In Relation to Sex
Recognizing a minister’s sexual vulnerability is vital to prevention
Two of the best ways to ensure responsible sexual behavior are for a minister to:
Build a strong marriage
Have a healthy attitude toward sexuality
Ministerial Restoration
Set up specific procedures for the discipline and restoration of erring ministers

27. Conclusion
Ministers with a healthy self-esteem recognize they have worth, value and dignity apart from the ministry to which God has called them.
Health, Lifestyle and Spiritual Growth are key factors in the life of a healthy minister or servant.
The ministers must place his family in high level of priority and commitment

28. Conclusion
The single minister must operate with ethical behavior and integrity, especially when dealing with other singles.
Stewardship and managing money is an indicator of the minister’s relationship, faith and integrity with the Lord and their ministry.
Understanding sexual behavior is important to the life of the minister.
Sexual misconduct of the minister can not only impact their lives, but the life of the church and the body of Jesus Christ.

29. Questions