1. How to take control back by being “the Calm”
The Early Years
Newsletter
How to take control back by being “the Calm”
Family-Friendly
mindfulness
“I DON’T WANT PANCAKES!” your child screams after a 5 minute battle about breakfast. In an attempt to get control of the situation, you yell back, “STOP YELLING NOW!”.
It's a challenge to keep cool in the heat of the moment, but Dr. Katharine C. Kersey, the author of "The 101s: A Guide to Positive Discipline," says that parents need to model the types of behavior they want their children to emulate." We should not do anything in front of [our children] that we don't want them to do," she advises.
Your approach to discipline demonstrates conflict resolution, and it teaches your children how to get their needs met for the rest of their lives. By practicing how to remain as calm as possible when they’re having a moment – you become your child’s calm center. This helps them to regulate quicker, while also modeling how to approach situations in the future. If we can work on this, our strategies for limits, consequences, and boundaries will ultimately be MUCH more effective. Some quick options to stray away from the emotional storm:
Count to ten
Take some deep breaths
Walk away for a second
However, we all know this can be really difficult! One of the best ways to become better at these skills is to practice being mindful of our emotions, even when we’re not dealing with conflict.
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to something on purpose, without judgment. Self-control stems from being mindful about how our thoughts and emotions affect our behavior. The next sections share some ideas to practice mindfulness. These exercises can help us be more aware of how we’re feeling, but can also act as calm-down strategies during stressful moments. Practice with your little ones to start promoting these skills for the whole family!
Mindfulness Walk –Go on a walk and silently listen to all of the sounds going on around you; the leaves crunching, the cars going by, the dogs barking.
Body Scan – Have each family member focus on each section of their body- from the top of the head, to the shoulders, arms, belly, and feet. Have everyone talk about how each part of them is feeling. “My tummy feels hungry”.
Yoga/Deep Breathing/Meditation –- There are hundreds of resources online for kid-friendly yoga and deep breathing strategies. Example: Search “Cookie Breathing” by Liana Lowenstein.
Recommended Resource
“Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline” by Becky A. Bailey
Resources:
“Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline” by Becky A. Bailey, Ph.D
Thank You, Miss Scharn