1. Love, Intimacy, and Sexual Communication
Chapter Four
Love, Intimacy, and Sexual Communication

2. Historical Perspectives
Arrange Marriages
Dowries
Bundling
Marriage for Love and Intimacy

3. Establishing Early Intimacy
Field of Eligibles
Physical Attractiveness
The “Beautiful is Better” Bias
The Effect of Media
The Matching Hypothesis
Proximity
Proximity Effect
Mere Exposure Effect
Similarity
Flirting
Reciprocity of Attraction
Encourage students to complete the Self-Discovery Your Field of Eligibles activity on page 99.

4. John Lee’s Styles of Love
The Six Styles
Eros Love
Ludus Love
Storge Love
Mania Love
Pragma Love
Agape Love
Combining Love Styles
Encourage students to complete the Self-Discovery Styles of Love Scale activity on page 107.
Encourage students to view Table 4.1: Compatibility of Love Styles in Relationships..

5. John Lee’s Styles of Love (cont.)
Encourage students to view Table 4.1: Compatibility of Love Styles in Relationships..

6. Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
The Three Components
Intimacy
Passion
Commitment

7. Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
Possible Combinations of the Three Components
Liking (I)
Infatuation (P)
Empty Love (C)
Romantic Love (I & P)
Fatuous Love (P &C)
Companionate Love (I &C)
Consummate Love (I, P & C)
Applying the Triangular Theory
Encourage students to complete the Self-Discovery The Triangle of Your Love activity on page 113.

8. Communication In Love Relationships
Self-Disclosure: How Much Should You Reveal About Yourself?
Behavioral Attributions: Why Did You Do That?
Relationship-enhancing Attributions
Distress-maintaining Attributions
Patterns of Effective Communication
Validating Communication
Volatile Communication
Conflict-avoiding Communication

9. Communication In Love Relationships (cont.)
Communication Warning Signs
Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Improving Communication
Understanding Intimate Communication: Six “Simple Truths”
Enhancing Intimate Communication: Five “Rules”
Encourage students to complete the Self-Discovery Guidelines for Sexual Communication activity on page 127.

10. Sexual Communication Sexual Self-disclosure Barriers
Lack of Information
Embarrassment
Insecurity About Using the Right Words
Sexual Taboos
Fear of Judgment
Fear of Rejection
Strategies for Improving Sexual Communication

11. Losing Love: Ten Reasons Why Relationships Fail
Lack of Self-knowledge
Acceptance of Sexual Myths and Stereotypes
Ineffective Communication
Imbalances of Decision-making Power
Low Self-esteem, Insecurity and Lack of Self-confidence
Isolation
Failing to Keep Promises, Lying, or Cheating
Excessive Jealousy (Normal vs. Delusional)
Control Issues
Violence

12. Abusive and Violent Relationships
Types of Relationship Abuse
Physical
Verbal
Emotional
In Touch with Your Sexual Health: Signs of Relationship Abuse
Signs That You May Have an Abusive Partner
Signs That You May Be an Abusive Partner
Encourage students to complete the In Touch with Your Sexual Health: Signs of Relationship Abuse activity on page 134.
Direct students to Table 4.2: Warning Signs of a Potential Abuser.

13. Abusive and Violent Relationships (cont.)
Direct students to Table 4.2: Warning Signs of a Potential Abuser.

14. The Cycle of Violence and Abuse
The Honeymoon Phase and/or the Beginning of the Relationship
The Tension-building Phase
Explosion
Return to the Honeymoon Phase

15. Getting Out and Moving On
Leaving a Violent Relationship
The Temptation to Go Back
Self-Discovery Your Criteria for a Healthy, Nonabusive Relationship
What Qualities Do You Require?
What Characteristics Are Unacceptable?
Loving Again
Encourage students to complete the Self-Discovery Your Criteria for a Healthy, Nonabusive Relationship activity on page 137.