1. SURVIVING THE TEENAGE YEARS!
Amy Bonnington
Pastoral Lead/ Head of Year 10
Oaklands Catholic School

2. Key issues facing teenagers…
Social Media
Peer relationships
Managing strong emotions
Feeling like an adult but not actually being one
Pleasing everyone
Exams and expectations

3. Communication Positive Relationships
Pick your moment
Communicate on their level
Open questions
Descriptive praise
Opt in and out of family activities
5 minutes is quality time
Just be there

4. Realistic Expectations & Mixed Messages
‘They ought to know better’
‘They’re doing it deliberately, just to annoy me’
‘You’re a teenager now – start acting like it’
‘Take some responsibility’
‘You’re still a child – do as I say’
‘You would never have got away with that when I was younger’

5. Responsibility Key task for parents Developing independence
Allow them to make decisions and learn through experience
Balance the responsibility – not too much!
Objective – allowing your child to manage independently and learn crucial life skills
Build a relationship of trust

6. NEGOTIATE – NEGOTIATE - NEGOTIATE

7. Clear And Calm Requests
Get the timimg right
Get close and gain your teenagers attention
Describe what you want to do – specific!
Allow time for co-operation
Praise co-operation
Consequences for non co-operation

8. Social Media You can’t avoid it; you have to learn to deal with it
Best practice
Have a cut off time
Monitor but build trust
Talk about it
Be their friend on social media
Build in boundaries

9. Working with us… Pastoral support an absolute priority at Oaklands
If we don’t know about it we can’t act on it
Communication is key
Building a working relationship

10. The Oaklands Way What we are doing to help…
A clear culture and ethos
High expectations on teaching and learning
Pastoral Support
Half term focus
Proactive more than reactive
Working with outside agancies

11. GETTING IT RIGHT
Research says that parents only have to get it ‘right’ 80% of the time
Accept we make mistakes – don’t be hard on yourself
Take time to do the things you enjoy – you are allowed!