1. Leading and Influencing through Authentic Conversation Session 1 Tom Costello – The 2gether Partnership

2. Objectives
Session 1:
Understand a model and language for describing the dynamics of influencing behavior
Become more self-aware about your personal presence and impact in group meetings
Identify your natural strengths and development areas when influencing others
Session 2:
Experiment with different influencing behaviours
Learn and apply a simple 5 step planning process to prepare for influencing situations ‘on the go’
Prepare for a real influencing situation of your own (from work or outside work)

3. Session 1: Thursday Oct 18th
Plan for both sessions
Session 1: Thursday Oct 18th
(13.00 – 16.30)
Session 2: Friday Oct 19th
(10.30 – 14.30)
Welcome and positioning
Your influencing reputation
Influencing definition & factors affecting your ability to influence
Group activity + personal feedback
~~~~~~~~Coffee ( )~~~~~~~
The Authentic Conversation Model
Intention v Impact
Personal strengths and development areas
Welcome to session 2
Six influencing behaviour’s
Experimenting with the six behaviour’s
~~~~~~~~Lunch (12.00 – 13.00)~~~~~~
The 5-step planning process
Case studies - practice, coaching and feedback
Planning and preparing for a real situation
Closing messages and close

4. Principles for how we work together
Respect
Openness
Participation
Experiment
Safety

5. Your Influencing Reputation
My name is…and I work…+ what’s most on my mind at the moment is…?
My influencing reputation is…
At my best I usually...?
At my worst I know I can be…?
What I’d like to learn/achieve from both of these sessions is…?...+ anything to add on ’how we need to work together’ over our two sessions?

6. A definition of effective influencing
Behaviour which brings about a change in someone or a situation whilst maintaining or strengthening the relationship between you.

7. Factors affecting your ability to influence others
The situation
Power dynamics
Mindset
Behavioural flexibility

8. Group activity (handout)
Work in pairs to rank order the six behaviour’s
One person from your pair joins the first 10 mins of your group meeting
Get feedback on your impact in the meeting
Swap over and run second 10 mins of the meeting

9. Group activity – personal feedback
What you did well/you had a positive impact when you?
What you could have done differently?
Note: Use the six behaviour’s as a guide to offering your feedback – what behaviour’s did you notice they used, overused, underused

10. The Authentic Conversation Model™
Int

11. The Authentic Conversation Model™

12. Six Dynamic Behaviours for Effective Conversations
1. Offering Positive Suggestions
2. Giving Feedback
3. Stating wants and needs
Directing
PUSH
From me to you
My agenda
Encouraging
PULL
From you to me
Your agenda
1 Listening and Understanding
2. Exploring through questions
3. Openness.
Fear
Put myself down, quiet voice, say very little
X Avoiding
X Discouraging
Put others down, loud voice, say a lot

13. Intention versus Impact

14. Elements that contribute to your impact
words
Voice
Body

15. Professor Albert Mehrabian

16. Intention versus Impact
words 7%
38%
55%

17. Your signature presence
Write down three positive words that describe how you would like to be seen by others (your intention)
Stand up – walk across the room and ask someone to give you feedback. What 3 words would they use to describe you?
Once they do this…share the three words you wrote down and discuss…consider how your words/voice/body contribute to your impact
Swap over and repeat process

18. Learning goals/actions: I want to…
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
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Explore

19. Leading and Influencing through Authentic Conversation Session 2 Tom Costello – The 2gether Partnership

20. Objectives
Session 1:
Understand a model and language for describing the dynamics of influencing behavior
Become more self-aware about your personal presence and impact in group meetings
Identify your natural strengths and development areas when influencing others
Session 2:
Experiment with different influencing behaviours
Learn and apply a simple 5 step planning process to prepare for influencing situations ‘on the go’
Prepare for a real influencing situation of your own (from work or outside work)

21. Session 1: Thursday Oct 18th
Plan for both sessions
Session 1: Thursday Oct 18th
(13.00 – 16.30)
Session 2: Friday Oct 19th
(10.30 – 14.30)
Welcome and positioning
Your influencing reputation
Influencing definition & factors affecting your ability to influence
Group activity + personal feedback
~~~~~~~~Coffee ( )~~~~~~~
The Authentic Conversation Model
Intention v Impact
Personal strengths and development areas
Welcome to session 2
Six influencing behaviour’s
Experimenting with the six behaviour’s
~~~~~~~~Lunch (12.00 – 13.00)~~~~~~
The 5-step planning process
Case studies - practice, coaching and feedback
Planning and preparing for a real situation
Closing messages and close

22. Principles for how we work together
Respect
Openness
Participation
Experiment
Safety

23. Being centered – some approaches
Grounding
yourself
Breathing
Being centered
Notice tension in your body…tighten…and release/relax

24. Directing behaviours Directing behaviours Word stems
1. Offering positive suggestions
1. Get attention: I have an idea/suggestion
2. Make suggestion: I suggest…
3. Back up with reasons (max 3): My reasons are…
4. Get a reaction: What do you think…?
2. Giving feedback
I like it when you…I don’t like it when you…
When you…I feel…or I feel…when you…
Are you aware that when you…it comes across as….
(Describe the specific behaviour + the impact this behaviour has on you)
3. Stating wants and needs
Could you…I’d appreciate if you would…I’d like you to…
I want you to…I need you to…I expect you to…I insist that you…

25. Encouraging behaviours
Word stems
1. Listening and understanding
So what you’re saying is…let me check I’ve heard you, you’re saying…is that right?
You look…you sound…
So overall, the key thing you’re saying is…
2. Exploring questions
What…who…how…where…when…why…
e.g. What happened…who else was involved…how often has this happened…what would you like from me…when do you need to complete it…who else could support you right now…
3. Openness
I’ve had a similar experience when…I’m feeling…I am concerned about…I could do with some help on…I’m sorry, I made a mistake when I… …what’s challenging me most at the moment is…I feel stuck and don’t know what to do…were you aware that…

26. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
Practice in pairs

27. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
1. Listening and Understanding

28. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
2. Giving Feedback

29. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
3. Offering Positive Suggestions

30. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
4. Your own choice of behavior?

31. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
Listening and Understanding
Giving Feedback
Offering Positive Suggestions
Your own choice of behavior
Feedback:
1. How well did they deliver the behaviors…WORDS/VOICE/BODY?
a)What you did well…?
b) What you could do differently…?
2. Why did you choose…?...as your final behavior?
3. What can we learn about the choice and timing of when to use certain behaviors?

32. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
1. Openness

33. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
2. Stating Wants and Needs

34. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
3. Exploring through Questions

35. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
4. Your own choice of behavior

36. Experimenting with Influencing behaviors
Openness
Stating Wants and Needs
Exploring through Questions
Your own choice of behavior
Feedback:
1. How well did they deliver the behaviors…WORDS/VOICE/BODY?
a)What you did well…?
b) What you could do differently…?
2. Why did you choose…?...as your final behavior?
3. What can we learn about the choice and timing of when to use certain behaviors?

37. Five Step Planning Process for tactical/short term influence conversations
Brief description of the situation
What would be a great outcome from this meeting/ situation
What behavior’s will you use? (At the start – middle – end?)
What key words or phrases will you use? (To start the conversation – middle – end?)
Who can you test the above with and practice. When will you have the conversation?

38. Learning goals/actions: I want to…
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

39. Closing messages
When will you meet/get in touch with your partner/buddy after today?
Look for opportunities to practice and take it one step at a time. (Choose one thing to do differently and notice what happens)
Be alert and notice your own and others’ behavior…the clues for how to influence them are often in how THEY behave. (Choose a meeting you are about to attend and make some notes after it is finished about your own and others behavior in the meeting)
Enjoy learning about your own and other’s influencing behavior

40. Thank you!