1. How is this different from hearing?
Listening
A process of selecting, attending to, constructing meaning from, remembering, and responding to verbal and nonverbal messages.
How is this different from hearing?

2. Listening Styles
People- Oriented: skilled and comfortable at listening to people’s feelings.
Action- Oriented: prefers information that is well- organized, precise, and concise (low context). Also, known as a time-oriented listener.
Content- Oriented: comfortable listening to complex, detailed information. Facts, details etc. A debater!
Watson, Barker, and Weaver et al.

3. Listening Barriers Being self-absorbed: Physiological- “I’m hungry
Psychologically- “I’m stressed”
Conversational Narcissism- Focused on your own needs as opposed to those of the speaker.
What are examples of some of your listening barriers?

4. Unchecked Emotions
Emotional Noise: A form of communication interference caused by emotional arousal.
Anger, grief, fear, etc.

5. Threat---Vulnerability---Fear----Anger
Izard and Ackerman 2000
What is the root cause of your anger?
Think about the last time you were angry.
Was there a fear behind the anger?
(Sadness, loss and depression may also be causes)

6. The Zone of effectiveness Aristotle wrote about the Golden Mean
Work in the Mid-range:
The Zone of effectiveness
Aristotle wrote about the Golden Mean
There is no universal middle that would apply to every situation. Aristotle said, "It's easy to be angry, but to be angry at the right time, for the right reason, at the right person and in the right intensity must truly be brilliant."
Buddha preached the Middle Way
This fourth noble truths avoid extremes and embraces moderation to find happiness.

7. Potential for Productiveness
Regulated
Unexpressed Unrestrained
Conflict (Emotional) Intensity
Wilmot and Hocker 2011
High
Potential for Productiveness
Low

8. How to be an empathic listener
Social Decentering: A cognitive process of thinking about the other person’s thoughts, values, background and perspectives.
Empathizing: An emotional reaction similar to the emotion experienced by another person.

9. Five steps to responding with empathy. (Adler and Towne)
1. Listen without interrupting
2. Ask questions to probe for more relevant information
What else did he say?
3. Paraphrase the content
So you’re telling me…
4. Provide a de-centering response
What do you think your next step is?
5. Provide an empathic response
Emotionally you must be feeling….