1. Peer Review Reflection
Think back to your experience in your peer group. What worked? What didn't?
What new insights did you gain about your writing?
What could we do to have more effective peer review time for the next essay?
If you were not here for Peer Review yesterday, discuss your experience writing your rough draft and how you plan to get feedback/help with it before you turn in the final draft on Thursday.

2. Grammar:
Fragment Review: “to” Fragments, “-ing” Fragments,

3. Fragments that are Missing Subjects
A sentence that lacks a subject is a fragment.
See p
Ex: The teacher collected the homework. And cancelled class.
Two ways to fix missing-subject fragments.
Add a subject to the fragment (often a pronoun)
Ex: The teacher collected the homework. She also cancelled class.
Make the fragment part of the sentence before it, giving the sentence a compound verb.
Ex: The teacher collected the homework and cancelled class.

4. Fixing “to” Fragments (p. 103)
Remember, a verb that has the word "to" right before it CANNOT be the verb of a sentence.
Ex: She studied for a long time. To pass the test.
Add a subject and a verb.
She wanted to pass the test.
Connect the fragment to a nearby sentence.
To pass the test, she studied for a long time.
She studied for a long time to pass the test.
Do a combination of the two.
She studied for a long time because she wanted to pass the test.

5. Fixing “-ing” Fragments p. 102
Many fragments start with –ing verbs.
Ex: Coming to class late every day.
You can add a subject and change the form of the verb.
They come to class late every day.
You can add a subject and appropriate helping verbs.
They have been coming to class late every day.
You can connect the fragment to a sentence nearby.
Coming to class late every day, they were not the teachers’ favorite students.
You can make the –ing verb the subject of its own sentence by adding a sentence verb.
Coming to class late every day does not make a good impression.

6. Do Exercise 4-6 on page 104 Do sentences 1 – 10.
For More Grammar Review:
If you need extra help or review with Grammar, of if you are still struggling with English as a language, I recommend reading and doing the exercises in your textbook:
“Reviewing the Basics” - Section A
pages

7. Essay Development
Often, students struggle with essays that wind up too short, and they struggle to make word count without repeating themselves to death.
Students think they have to repeat themselves a lot in order to make minimum length—or else start talking about something completely off topic

8. The real problem is that these essays lack depth - they are not “developed”
Rather than patiently developing each thought to its maximum potential before going on to the next logical thought, you’ve rushed the process, cheating yourself of the possibility of reaching the page length requirement and cheating the reader of being entertained by a meaningful essay.

9. A Ten Step Method to Well-Developed Paragraphs

10. Step One
Make sure that you have a focus for that paragraph—a main point that this paragraph will focus on.
This should also connect back to your thesis in some way.
As support, example, etc.

11. Step Two
make a smooth transition into a paragraph that lays out your main focus for the paragraph as a controlling sentence (also called a topic sentence).

12. Step Three in the same paragraph, state why the point is important
(this actually might be a linked sentence that is linked by “because,” if there is a cause and effect relationship).

13. Step Four Illustrate your point with an example:
From your own life/experience
Evidence from an outside source: Quote or Paraphrase from another text
Other types of examples/evidence

14. Step Five
State clearly why you used that illustration/example.

15. Step Six
Make sure you have been as specific as possible and have completely explained words, statements, or ideas that might be vague or unclear to your reader.

16. Step Seven
Decide what your next point is, thinking about what ideas might follow logically from this first body paragraph.
Use a transition that links the two ideas to each other, and repeat steps 2 – 6.

17. Step Eight
Continue in this fashion until you are ready for your conclusion.

18. Step Nine
Make sure your conclusion reviews the basic points/main ideas you want your reader to remember and think about after they are done reading.

19. Step Ten
REVISE to take out all empty “filler” words and to make sure each paragraph only contains sentences that relate specifically to that paragraph.
Check to make sure the order of the paragraphs follows some sort of logical organization—that each paragraph connects to the next and back to your thesis.

20. Break Time!

21. The Revision Process

22. Revision Guidelines
Revising your work is an important part of the writing process.
Every paper has the potential to be a fine piece of writing, but only after being polished and perfected.
After you have written a first draft and gotten feedback from your peers, it is time to revise.
What exactly is revision? What am I expecting you to do when you revise? These guidelines will hopefully give you direction as you revise your work.

23. Part 1: What a Revision Is Not:
A revision is NOT turning in an unmarked copy of your rough draft.
A revision is NOT only correcting one or two grammar mistakes.
A revision is NOT adding one or two sentences onto the end of your draft. If you turn in a revision to me that only does these things, it is not a true revision, and you will get points taken away from the "writing process" section of your assignment grade.

24. Part 2: What a Revision Does!
A revision DOES make changes that require you to delete, change, and add phrases and sentences throughout the assignment.
In fact, sometimes a revision requires you to completely rewrite large sections of your assignment.
A revision DOES try to fix problems with details and confusing sentences that your peers and your instructor pointed out.
A revision DOES correct grammar and spelling mistakes you found in your draft.

25. Taking Responsibility for Your Revisions
You as the writer of the essay are responsible for your revisions.
Your peer group can give you suggestions, your instructor can give you feedback, but it is your responsibility to make the most of the revision process.

26. You are Responsible for Your Essay
You are in charge of choosing how (and if) to put your group’s feedback and your instructor’s advice to work.
You are in charge of rewriting places in your essay that you have decided need improvement even if no one commented on them.
You are in charge of proofreading your essay for grammar, spelling, and punctuation. It was not your group’s job or your instructor’s job to find all of your errors.

27. “Big” Changes vs. “Little” Changes
“Big changes” have to do with structure, order, and issues that affect your entire essay.
"Little changes" have to do with mechanics, word choice, and individual sentences.
Do the big changes first, then work on the little changes.
It doesn’t make sense to spend hours on a paragraph that shouldn’t even be in your essay because it doesn’t belong.

28. You Need “Big” Changes if your Peers Said:
“I’m not sure you have enough examples to make your point yet.”
"I don't really know why this event was important to you."
"It was hard for me to figure out the main point of your essay.”
"I don't understand what you were trying to say."
"This paragraph doesn't have anything to do with the essay."
"Your paragraphs are good, but I don't see how they're connected."
"Maybe you should move your paragraphs around and structure your essay around an idea on page three.”

29. You Need “Little” Changes if your Peers or Professor Said…
"You need more detail in this sentence."
"This sentence is confusing."
"I think you need a comma here."
Every essay could always use some little changes. Go through your draft looking for places where your essay could be enhanced by specific detail rather then generalities, confusing phrases, etc.

30. Add Narrative Detail to your Draft
Think of the balance between narrative and reflection in your essay as a camera that zooms IN and OUT.
ZOOM IN when you include narrative. Tell the story of your personal experiences. Use description and detail.
ZOOM OUT when you are analyzing the significance of the narrative you have described already and how it connects to your outside sources and the “big picture” ideas you are discussing.
Zoom in to describe, Zoom out to analyze.

31. Detail/Description, Continued
Write about things you SEE:
Don’t ignore your senses. Engage your reading by describing things.
Write about things you HEAR:
Detail and description. Make the reader feel like they are in the moment with you.
Write about the things you FEEL:
Emotional reactions can reveal a lot about our identities and the society we live in.
Write about WHAT HAPPENED:
Even small events can have great significance if analyzed in detail. Think about how small events impacted you in the long term and how similar events impact people like you in our society.

32. Some General Tips:
Always capitalize the main words in titles. This includes your own!
Put “quotes” around the titles of articles, essays, and small works. Italicize the titles of whole books, tv shows, and movies.
Read your essay out loud to yourself.
You may feel silly—but seriously, DO IT. Your ears will catch things your eyes won’t, especially when you have been staring a screen all night.

33. Think about your Essay:
Ask yourself questions: For example:
“Do I have a main point?”
“Are there paragraphs or sections that could be rearranged to make your essay more effective?”
“Do I write enough about each point that I make?”
“Are my examples specific?”
Make a quick checklist of the main things you need to do to improve your essay.

34. For Tomorrow:
Wednesday, 8/3 In Class: Discuss Consistent Verb Tense and Active Voice.  Revising Confusing or Inconsistent Sentences. Due: ·         Pathways p.264, ·         Pathways  p.231, ,