1. Conflict and Conflict Resolution
Presented by
Mr P J A John
Barrouallie Central Leeward Secondary School

2. Complete these statements truthfully…
Most people fight or argue when they:
Most people fight or argue over:
One good thing people get from arguing or fighting is:
One bad thing about arguing and fighting is:
People generally respond to conflicts by

3. Complete these statements truthfully…
I fight or argue when:
I get upset or angry when other students:
I make others angry when I:
When I'm talking to someone else who is really angry or upset, the most important thing to do is:

4. When I'm really angry or upset with someone, the most important thing for me to do is:
When I'm upset at, mad at, or bothered by another student I can (list three):
When I have a disagreement or conflict with someone, we can agree to:

5. This lesson explores how conflicts can be resolved by looking at things fairly, and how a mediator can help to make this happen.

6. What is conflict?
“A struggle to resist or overcome; contest of opposing forces or powers; strife; battle. A state or condition of opposition; antagonism; discord. A painful tension set up by a clash between opposed and contradictory impulses."
The dictionary defines "conflict" as "a struggle to resist or overcome; contest of opposing forces or powers; strife; battle. A state or condition of opposition; antagonism; discord. A painful tension set up by a clash between opposed and contradictory impulses." No matter how hard we try to avoid it, conflict periodically enters our lives.

7. Causes of conflict
There is a perceived breach of faith and trust between individual
There is unresolved disagreement that has escalated to an emotional level
There is miscommunication leading to unclear expectations
Give handouts.

8. Causes of conflict There are personality clashes
There are differences in acquired values
There is underlying stress and tension
There are ego problems
There are combinations of the above

9. Is conflict good? A certain degree of conflict is a healthy sign
Too much conflict; communication problems
No conflict; disinterest amongst the members of the group and lack of input
Arises from unclear aims and objectives
Don’t make disagreements personal
Conflict can help improve the level of quality
Conflict – can conflict increase productivity?
A certain degree of conflict is useful and is a sign that the group is functioning healthily.
Too much conflict suggests communication problems which must be resolved.
No conflict suggests apathy or lack of input from the whole group.
Conflict usually arises from unclear aims and objectives. To avoid this, set down the aims and objectives of the group for the whole project at all levels as early as possible.
Disagreements should never be personal.
Conflict raises the level of discussion, critical thinking and reasoning skills.

10. RESOLVING CONFLICT

11. The 7 Steps to Conflict Resolution

12. To Resolve a Conflict
What to say or do?
Why?
1. Calm yourself
Take a deep breath, say "relax"
Clears thinking, models control
2. Restore order 
Take a "Time Out"
Stops the fight, contains the damage
3. Hear their stories 
"Help me understand your concern."
Gathers information, defuses tension

13. To Resolve a Conflict
What to say or do?
Why?
4. Listen carefully
Eye contact, don't interrupt
Honors the need to be heard
5. Generate solutions 
"How could we resolve this?"
Moves from accusations to solutions
6. Agree on a solution
"Would this work for you?"
Moves to resolution, brings closure

14. To Resolve a Conflict
What to say or do?
Why?
7. Test for satisfaction 
"Are you sure this will work for you?"
Assures clear communication

15. When we get into arguments with people, the problem won’t be sorted until both parties feel that they have been treated fairly.
Grrrrr…..
Grrrrr…..

16. In order to make things fair, all parties have to:
Understand
Avoid making things worse
Work together
Find a solution

17. First we have to try to understand – by putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes.

18. Each person must be allowed to say how
they feel – without being interrupted.
In order for it to work:
Each person must listen carefully to what
the other has to say.

19. NO: fighting, kicking, pushing! screaming or shouting put downs
Everyone must make sure they don’t make
the situation worse … so
NO:
put downs
revealing of secrets
screaming or shouting
fighting, kicking, pushing!

20. Each person must be determined to work
together with the others.
This means:
Taking turns
Speaking quietly, but firmly
Active listening
Talking about how you feel, without
blaming anyone.

21. Think of as many ideas as possible!
Now find a solution by brainstorming together.
Think of as many ideas as possible!

22. All parties must take responsibility for their part of the agreement.
And stick to what has been decided.

23. …. And be prepared to talk again if things aren’t improving.
How’s about another chat?
O.K. That’s cool!

24. The short tale of a lemon

25. Once there were two women who both wanted a lemon.
However, as luck would have, it there was only one left in the shop.

26. Without discussion they both agreed to take half.

27. One woman took her half lemon home and squeezed it to make a drink.
The juice barely covered the bottom of the glass!

28. The other grated the rind to make an lemon flavoured cake (although it wasn’t as flavoursome as she had hoped).
The juice went
everywhere!

29. Think about it !

30. Had they taken the time to talk and negotiate with each other, they both could have had what they wanted- the juice or the rind of a whole lemon!

31. Key points to remember Be a model of calm and control
Don't give in to emotional outbursts
Don't assume people are being difficult intentionally
Find a quiet place in to resolve conflicts....privately
Key Principles in Resolving Conflict
Take shared responsibility for the conflict
Recognize and appreciate differences among people
Preserve individual dignity
Listen carefully and with empathy, listen to understand, communicate, don't debate
Be calm...don't give in to emotional outbursts or reactions
Vulnerability is a key to successful resolution, therefore open up and share your feelings
Don't assume people are being difficult intentionally
Choose a safe place or person with whom you can vent and clarify the issues for yourself
Generate solutions...find agreement
Follow-up to assure resolution and modify as necessary 

32. Key points to remember Set some ground rules for the discussion:
No raising of voices
This is not a debate
Speak only for yourself..."I" phrases
Confront the issues, not the people
Maintain or enhance self-esteem

33. Talking can often lead to solutions which benefit every one!

34. Glossary Communicate – to talk things out
Negotiate - to discuss something
Mediate – to act as a go between
Arbitrate – to act to solve the problem
Litigate – to go to court
Legislate – to pass laws or set up rules
Resolve – to make your mind up