1. Dialogue!

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In real life, people talk! This may seem obvious but you’d be surprised how often writers forget this.
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Sometimes when you read a story, it is all narration. That is, the author simply tells you what is happening without telling you what the characters said.
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4. Here’s an example from a story about two adventurous kids:
Johnny and Flora reached the top of the mountain. They looked down into the abyss and saw an incredible site. The view was amazing. They could see the entire town below. Of course, they couldn’t stand there gazing for very long. Soon the bear had climbed to the top of the mountain as well. They knew they had to slide down the snow trail to get away. Johnny decided to go first. He jumped onto the trail. Flora then followed. The bear watched them go…
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It’s a pretty good scene in a story, but Johnny and Flora are mute --- they never say a word. In real life, they would speak! Here’s the same story, but with talking included.
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Johnny and Flora reached the top of the mountain. “We made it!” Johnny said. They looked down into the abyss and saw an incredible site. The view was incredible. “Wow, look at that,” Flora gasped. “Yeah, we are as high as an airplane!” Johnny replied. They could see the entire town below. “Look there’s our house,” Flora said. Of course, they couldn’t stand there gazing for very long. Soon the bear had climbed to the top of the mountain as well. Johnny screamed, “Oh Gosh, here comes Grizzlie!” “We got to go, Johnny,” Flora said. They knew they had to slide down the snow trail to get away. Johnny decided to go first. He jumped onto the trail. “Ahhhhhhh!” he screamed. Flora then followed. “Ohhhhhhhh!” Grizzlie the bear watched them go. “Ooga Booga,” said the bear.
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Do you see how the dialogue gives the story more personality? We feel like we know Johnny, Flora and even the bear better in the version with the dialogue.
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Today we are going to practice using dialogue in our stories in an exercise in our writing books.
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When you use dialogue you will also have to use the word said. Johnny said… Flora said… The bear said…
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10. However, try not to use the same word “SAID” every time.
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It gets boring for your reader if every sentence is “he said,” “she said,” and so on.
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12. There are many other words for “said.”
Gasped is like a shocked “said”
Cried is like an emotional “said”
Shouted is like a mad or excited “said”
Whispered is like a quiet “said”
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Try mixing it up. It’s always good to use different words instead of using the same word over and over.
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One more word of advice. Dialogue is the easiest way to add humor to your story. Try making your characters say funny things sometimes.
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For instance, in the story above, I thought it would be funny to have the bear say “Ooga Booga” because bears don’t really talk.
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In our practice session today, see if you can use funny dialogue --- not in every sentence but in a few.
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Your teacher will now pass out a sample scene from a story. We will then rewrite it but adding at least 8 sentences of dialogue into the scene. Good luck!
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