3. Conflict: A Definition
Any situation in which one person or group perceives that another person or group is interfering with his or her goal attainment
Increases naturally as professionals begin working together
Meeting some persons’ needs will often result in others’ needs going unmet
Inherently neither good nor bad!
Knowing one’s own style of managing conflict is important

4. Why Conflict Arises
Type “A” Personality
Vs.
Type “B Personality

5. Type ”A” Personality Highly Competitive Strong Personality
Restless when inactive
Seeks Promotion Punctual
Thrives on deadlines
Maybe jobs at once

6. Type “B” Personality Works methodically Rarely competitive
Enjoys leisure time
Does not anger easily
Does job well but doesn’t need recognition
Easy-going

7. Aggressive People Body language Verbal language Stiff and straight
Points, bangs tables to emphasize points
Folds arms across body
Verbal language
“I want you to…”
“You must…”
“Do what I tell you!”
“You’re stupid!”
Aggressive people
are basically
insecure….. Try to
avoid them.

8. Submissive people Body Language Verbal Language Submissive people
Avoids eye contact
Stooped posture
Speaks quietly
Fidgets
Verbal Language
“I’m sorry”
“It’s all my fault”
“Oh dear”
Submissive people
have a great sense
of inferiority

9. Assertive People Body language Verbal language Stands straight
Appears composed
Smiles
Maintains eye contact
Verbal language
“Let’s”
“How shall we do this?”
“I think… What do you think?”
“I would like…”

10. Types of Conflict Within an individual Between two individuals
Within a team of individuals
Between two or more teams within an organization

11. Causes of conflict Conflict of aims- different goals
Conflict of ideas- different interpretations
Conflict of attitudes - different opinions
Conflict of behavior- different behaviors are unacceptable

12. Aids to Communication Listen Actively Relax Observe body language
Develop interest in others interests
Ask for clarification
Plan what you are going to say
Tailor words to person
Determine the best timing
Determine the best place
Why is the conversation necessary

13. Personalities who cause conflict
Aggressor
Passive
Absentee
Error prone
Negative attitude
Chatterbox
Do nothing

14. Personalities who cause conflict
Unreliable
Time waster
Resentful person

15. Conflict Management Styles
Competitive Style
Avoidant Style
Accommodating Style
Compromising Style
Collaborative Style
Vary along dimensions of cooperativeness and assertiveness

16. Conflict Management Styles
Competing
Collaborating
(high)
Assertiveness
Compromising
(low)
Avoiding
Accommodating
(low)
(high)
Cooperativeness

17. Conflict Management Styles
Competitive: try to overpower others with whom you have contact and “win” the disagreement
Relationships are low in importance
Avoidant: try to ignore discrepancy between your own goals and those of others
Own goals are unimportant

18. Compromising: give up some ideas and demand that others do the same
Accommodating: set aside your own goals (“give in”) to ensure that others’ needs are met
Relationships are more important than goals
Compromising: give up some ideas and demand that others do the same
Look for “common ground”
Collaborative: requires commitment to relationships and goals
Conflicts are seen as opportunities

19. AVOIDANCE STYLE I don’t have enough time I don’t have enough facts
Perhaps the best way is to proceed as you think best
Criticism: The conflict is not solved
Example situations where avoidance style is appropriate
Minor issues
Inadequate facts and power
Others can more effectively resolve the conflict

20. SMOOTHING STYLE If it makes others happy, I wont challenge their views
I don’t want to hurt the feelings of others
We should not risk our friendship, so let’s not worry too much about the problem, things will work out
Criticism: It encourages individuals to cover-up or gloss over their feelings
Example situations where smoothing style is appropriate
Emotional conflicts
Talented employees

21. FORCING STYLE If you don’t like the way things are run get out
If you cant learn to cooperate, I am sure others who will, can be hired
Criticism: The subordinates’ interests are ignored. The conflict is not analysed
Example situations where forcing style is suitable
Inadequate time
Stopping people from taking advantage of him/her

22. COMPROMISE STYLE
I let other people win something, if they let me win something
I try to find out a position between theirs and mine
Criticism: people may encourage compromise on stated issues rather than on real issues
Example situations where compromise style is acceptable
It is not possible to achieve a win-win agreement
When conflicts block important agreements

23. COLLABORATIVE STYLE
I try to get all view points & issues out in the open
Best alternatives must be arrived through analysing
Criticism: It is not suitable when win-win situation is not possible
Example situations where this style is appropriate
The parties disagree over the best means to achieve the common goals
When there is a need for high-quality decisions

24. The Costs of Unresolved Conflict
Lost work time and productivity
Lost employees / high turnover
Damage to organization reputation
Sabotage, theft, damage
Lowered job motivation
Health costs due to stress
Legal costs due to litigation

25. Is Conflict always a bad thing?
Can be opportunity for growth or learning
Inspires creativity
Can bring up alternative ways of thinking and behaving we had not considered before
Can challenge us to value differences
Sometimes people need to seek job fulfillment elsewhere
Can improve communication
“Two heads are better than one only if they contain different opinions”

26. Emotions During Conflict
Anger
Fear
Hopelessness
Frustration
Disappointment
Paranoia / suspicion
Jealousy
Shame

27. Human Needs Affecting Conflict
Power
Approval
Inclusion
Justice
Identity

28. Watch Your Language, Young Lady!
Conflict as War
Conflict as Opportunity
“We shot down that idea.”
“What would you like to see happen instead?”
“Your position is indefensible.”
“This issue presents us with a real challenge.”
“He dropped a bomb on me.”
“Your feedback helped me see some ways I could improve.”

29. The Iceberg of Conflict

30. Attitude

31. What comes to your mind?

32. First & Most Likely Responses…!!
Donkey…..!!!!!
Good for Nothing
Useless
Least Glamorous
Taken for Granted animal
….seldom we get response that the donkey is
one of the “hard working” animals and loyal

33. How is our Attitude…?
We treat people and situation in the same
manner as we do with the donkey.
We discount the good in them …!
We only look at the Negative side & start
reacting….. Isn’t it?

34. ACT
STOP
THINK

35. REACT
First we take ACTION
then we STOP
then we THINK.. and feel guilty about our
behaviour
That is why others say.. “Attitude Problem”

36. The Rule
10% is what happens
90% is how to react/respond to what happens
and that’s your attitude

37. THE ICEBERG
HOW MUCH DO YOU SEE OF AN ICEBERG?

38. THE ICEBERG
ONLY 10 OF ANY ICEBERG IS VISIBLE. THE REMAINING 90% IS BELOW SEA LEVEL.

39. 10 % 90 % THE ICEBERG VISIBLE ABOVE SEA LEVEL INVISIBLE
BELOW SEA LEVEL
90 %

40. THE ICEBERG
The Iceberg phenomena is also applicable on human beings …

41. ATTITUDE THE ICEBERG KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS KNOWN TO OTHERS UNKNOWN
SEA LEVEL
UNKNOWN
TO OTHERS
ATTITUDE

42. THE ICEBERG
In other words,

43. VALUES – STANDARDS – JUDGMENTS MOTIVES – ETHICS - BELIEFS
THE ICEBERG
BEHAVIOR
KNOWN
TO OTHERS
SEA LEVEL
UNKNOWN
TO OTHERS
IMPACT
VALUES – STANDARDS – JUDGMENTS
ATTITUDE
MOTIVES – ETHICS - BELIEFS

45. PERSPECTIVE

46. Positive Thinking is a Life Style Change That Effects Your Entire World!

48. Communication is…
body
language
55%
words 7%
style
38%

49. Effective Communication…
Is scarcer than quality water
Is measured by results or actions
Does not need to be very complex
Is aimed at informing others
Is complete and clear

50. STORY OF A DOCTOR MARRYING A NURSE.
A child was born out of the legal wedlock, but the doctor denied the fatherhood for the child and nurse denied the motherhood of the child; but both agreeing that it is their child.
Is it possible?
Are they saying truth?

51. Yes,
this situation is not impossible. As the Nurse is a male nurse and the doctor is a woman Doctor.

52. It is an ability and game What is a meaning of phrase
of interpretation
What is a meaning of phrase
“Maintenance free battery”?

53. It may mean that a battery may not require maintenance at all.Or
it may mean that the supplier may provide the maintenance free of charge

54. It is an art of thinking beyond familiar or ordinary situation.
A story, which is true or false, please decide yourself.
A young lawyer went to senior lawyer offering his services and seeking the proposal for his beautiful girl.
Lawyer father said- “Boy you have to prove your mettle. Here is a brief (legal case)- Go to the court and prove your wits.”
Boy fought valiantly and came back with success in the legal matter on the very first date of hearing.
Lawyer father : “You over-enthusiastic fool, I have created a huge wealth and fame only because I saw to it that the matters are not decided on a first day or in a day. “How you will provide luxuries to my daughter?”

55. It is a war of wits
A simpleton farmer named Gopal purchased a well from the neighbouring farmer named Banke Bihari at the price of Rs.100/-.
When Gopal wanted to draw the water from the newly purchased well, Banke Bihari objected and Said- “I have sold only well and not its water”.

56. Matter went to the court of a very intelligent Kazi-
Kazi agreed with the Banke Bihari and said- “Yes, by selling a well it does not mean that the water in it is also sold. Therefore, water is property of the Banke Bihari”.
Gopal virtually sank to hear this. He was in tears.

57. Then came the final verdict and Kazi said -
“since Banke Bihari being the owner of the water, he has kept his water in another person’s well, therefore, he shall pay a heavy price i.e. Rs. 500/- as a rent and he should immediately remove all water from it failing which he shall continue to pay the rent”.
Now Gopal has tears of joy in his eyes.

58. Mind your language.
(MIND YOUR TONGUE + MIND)

59. RESOLVING CONFLICT

60. When we get into arguments with people, the problem won’t be sorted until both parties feel that they have been treated fairly.
Grrrrr…..
Grrrrr…..

61. In order to make things fair, all parties have to:
Understand
Avoid making things worse
Work together
Find a solution

62. First we have to try to understand – by putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes.

63. Each person must be allowed to say how
they feel – without being interrupted.
In order for it to work:
Each person must listen carefully to what
the other has to say.

64. NO: fighting, kicking, pushing! screaming or shouting
Everyone must make sure they don’t make
the situation worse … so
NO:
put downs
revealing of secrets
screaming or shouting
fighting, kicking, pushing!

65. Each person must be determined to work
together with the others.
This means:
Taking turns
Speaking quietly, but firmly
Active listening
Talking about how you feel, without
blaming anyone.

66. Think of as many ideas as possible!
Now find a solution by brainstorming together.
Think of as many ideas as possible!

67. And stick to what has been decided.
All parties must take responsibility for their part of the agreement.
And stick to what has been decided.

68. …. And be prepared to talk again if things aren’t improving.
How’s about another chat?
O.K. That’s cool!

70. The short tale of a lemon

71. Once there were two women who both wanted a lemon.
However, as luck would have, it there was only one left in the shop.

72. Without discussion they both agreed to take half.

73. One woman took her half lemon home and squeezed it to make a drink.
The juice barely covered the bottom of the glass!

74. The other grated the rind to make an lemon flavoured cake (although it wasn’t as flavoursome as she had hoped).
The juice went
everywhere!

75. Think about it !

76. Had they taken the time to talk and negotiate with each other, they both could have had what they wanted- the juice or the rind of a whole lemon!

77. Talking can often lead to solutions which benefit every one!