1. Thinking about Writing
Wednesday, 28 November 2018
JWP JLS 2015, after Didau

2. Strunk and White: Elements of Style
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he should avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.
JWP JLS 2015, after Didau

3. Consider The first point I wish to make… I, as a reader,…
I personally…
This can be evidenced by the quotation…
JWP JLS 2015, after Didau

4. Examples ( from David Didau, http://www.learningspy.co.uk/)
JWP JLS 2015, after Didau

5. Remove the unnecessary baggage
JWP JLS 2015, after Didau

6. Finally redraft from this point.
A clear and simple active verb to introduce the key idea of this paragraph
Context swiftly drawn into the writing. No waste
A straightforward statement after the quotation to show understanding.
A second quotation to develop the argument and explain the real intention of Mark Antony.
JWP JLS 2015, after Didau

7. A bit too simple?
For an examination, I would want my students to zoom in a bit more here.
Choose key words to explore and develop
Take another look:
JWP JLS 2015, after Didau

8. You now have a framework in which to work
The turning point of the play comes when Brutus lets Antony speak to the people of Rome. In Act 2, before Antony’s speech in Act 3.2, Cassius persuades Brutus to join the conspiracy to kill Caesar. Brutus lets Antony speak because he trusts him : “I know that we shall have him well to friend”. Here Brutus’ certainty of mind will once again be a step towards his downfall. Brutus is wrong to trust Antony. Antony’s words “cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war” with its invocation of the age old war cry suggesting total destruction of an enemy, shows he wants revenge and turns the people to his side.
JWP JLS 2015, after Didau

9. Longer
I have added detail which is relevant and not indulged in subjective comment
The verbs remain active and carry a direct message
I have tried to engage in analysis of Shakespeare’s choices without any unnecessary extension of the paragraph.
JWP JLS 2015, after Didau