1. Techniques to strengthen relationships during short-term separation
Unit Standards & 10023

2. When a child has a short-term separation it is important to decide if they are ready
Learning Outcome
Unit Standard 10022
Outcome 2
Describe techniques for strengthening relationships between adults and a child during short-term separation.
2.1 Description includes an outline of the measures used to assess the sort of short-term separation individual children appear ready to tolerate in accordance with current ECE practice.
Range: tolerance measures include – the child’s age, stage of development, personality, family characteristics, history.
Teaching Notes:
Short-term separation is defined as a situation where the child is separated for a short period of time from the whānau/family or caregiver. The child is placed in the care of an adult other than the primary caregiver and the care arrangement may be for an hour or a day.
Caregiver refers to the person primarily responsible for the child in home-based care.
The child’s age
It is important to consider the age of the child when assessing if they are experiencing short-term separation and to consider their stage of development.
Stage of development
According to the theorist Bowlby attachment develops in four phases
Phase One:
Birth to 6 weeks – in this phase infants recognise their own mother’s voice and smell but they are not attached to her so they don’t mind being left with an adult that they are not familiar with.
Phase Two:
6 weeks to 6-8 months – in this phase attachment to a familiar adult is developing but is not yet established. Infants will begin to respond to differently to a known caregiver than to a stranger. They may not protest when separated from their primary caregiver.
Phase Three:
6/8 months – 18months/2 years
Children are attached to their primary caregiver and will become upset when they are separated from them. This anxiety is called separation anxiety and can continue until the child is about 15 months old. Children will cry and older infants and toddlers will try to keep their caregiver in their presence. They may also display secure attachment by exploring an environment and then coming back for reassurance and emotional support.
Phase Four:
18 months – 2 years and beyond
By the time a child is two they are able to understand that primary caregiver will leave and then return. Children can use their developing language to talk about someone leaving and to make requests eg asking for a story to be read before they are separated. This extra time may help the child to tolerate a separation. They will have an increased understanding of the separation.
(Berk, 2001)
Personality
It is important to understand the individual needs of a child. They may have comfort objects which they like to play with or to sleep with eg a blanket (Beaver, Brewster, Green, Neaum, Sheppard, Tallack, Walker, 2008). Some researchers believe that if infants are prone to distress when they are with their primary caregiver then they will display this behaviour when separated even if they have a secure attachment (Berk, 2001)
Family characteristics
It is important to consider the family context when assessing a child. If the family is under stress the child may display distress when being separated. Research has shown that in families with high levels of stress the rates of insecure attachment can be high(Berk, 2001). Cultural factors may be considered as well - the culture the family is from may encourage children to stay with their parents or another culture may encourage independence
History
It is important to consider the history of the child when assessing if they are able to tolerate short-term separation. Do they have a history of having lots of changes in their life or are they used to be with their primary caregiver or whānau/family all the time (Beaver, Brewster, Green, Neaum, Sheppard, Tallack, Walker, 2008)

3. Sessions 7 & 8
DISCUSS
What are some of the possible short-term separation situations in which young children may require settling?
Teacher’s Notes;
Brainstorm possible short- term situations where young children may require settling on the board.
Situations in which young children could require settling include;
Starting childcare or kindergarten
Being left with a babysitter or caregiver
Starting school
Starting in a new group e.g. play group, dance class, sports team
Going to bed
When the child is injured
When visitors (familiar or unfamiliar) come to the home
When the child is unwell
When the child is excited (e.g. before celebrations)
When the child is frightened
Attachment & Settling in Early Childhood - Incorporating Units & 10023

4. How do you think you could assist; a. the parent & b. the child
Sessions 7 & 8
How do you think you could assist;
a. the parent &
b. the child
through each of these separations?
Teacher’s Notes:
Settling techniques may include;
Discussing the separation with the parents before it actually occurs. Find out how their child prefers to be comforted and what the parents’ expectations of the caregiver are
Become familiar with the child’s language before the separation e.g. if they do not speak the same language, learn some common terms.
Ask the parents what terms the child uses to describe everyday occurances e.g. toilet, hungry, sleep time
Spend some time with the child before the separation to get to know each other
Learn to interpret the child’s needs (particularly important for children who are not yet communicating verbally)
hugging the child (comforting)
reading a story to the child
reassuring the parents verbally
distracting the child by looking at their favourite toys (redirecting)
waving to the parents out the window as they leave
singing and talking to the child
playing games together
reflective listening e.g. “You are feeling sad because mum and dad have gone out, but they will be back later.”
For young infants or toddlers;
offer the child their dummy or bottle until they settle
if the child has a cuddle or security item such as a blanket, offer this to the child
Discuss the infants’ routines with the parents before the separation e.g. feeding patterns, bottles, sleeps, how and where the baby sleeps, how the baby likes to be comforted
Attachment & Settling in Early Childhood - Incorporating Units & 10023

5. Sessions 7 & 8
Discuss…
Why is it important to assist parents and children through short-term separation as positively as possible?
Teacher’s Notes;
It is important to support parents and children through short-term separation as positively as possible because:
It is important to support attachment relationships for young children. Children are able to make more than one attachment relationship in more than one setting. Parents are more likely to feel confident and positive about leaving their child if they can see that their child is well cared for and that they have developed a secure attachment relationship with their caregiver.
Children who experience loving empathetic care giving are more likely to settle quickly and feel emotionally secure in the new situation.
It is important that children are able to develop trust that their needs will be met and that the adults who care for them will respond with love, warmth, affection and attention consistently.
These early experiences of short term separation can have long term affects on a child’s ability to develop and maintain relationships.
Emotional security is important for a child’s learning and development. Without emotional security, a child is unlikely to engage in play or to explore their environment.
Attachment & Settling in Early Childhood - Incorporating Units & 10023

6. Sessions 7 & 8
As a caregiver of a child…
What are the possible health and safety considerations you would need to make when settling children?
Teacher’s Notes;
Health and Safety considerations when settling children include;
road safety – if children are separating from their parents near cars or the road
prolonged crying or refusal to drink – caregivers will need to ensure the child does not become dehydrated
use of tissues to wipe a runny nose
close supervision of the child if they move away from the caregiver particularly when upset
For the caregiver – self protection from an angry or physically upset child e.g. biting, hitting or kicking during separation
Attachment & Settling in Early Childhood - Incorporating Units & 10023

7. Sessions 7 & 8
In small groups…
Explore how the child, the parent, and you (the caregiver) could be feeling in this situation and why.
What attachment and separation behaviours could you expect from both the child and the adults in this situation?
What could you do to assist the parent and child through this short-term separation?
What will you need to do to ensure the child is kept safe and healthy during the separation?
Teacher’s Notes;
Options;
In small groups, choose one of the situations identified in the brainstorm (What are some of the possible short-term separation situations in which young children may require settling?)
Each group will need to discuss the short term separation situation and answer the 4 questions in relation to this situation.
Groups could;
Develop a role play demonstrating the separation and how they would assist the child and parents through this.
Make a poster, or presentation about their assigned situation answering the 4 questions and present this to the class.
At the end of each presentation or role play, encourage students to evaluate the appropriateness of the chosen settling technique to the situation.
Evaluation questions could include;
Were the settling techniques used appropriate to the child and the situation?
How do you think the settling techniques used would make the child, parents and caregiver feel?
Did the settling techniques used, demonstrate empathy for the child and their family?
How did the settling techniques used, consider the health and safety of both the child and the caregiver?
Attachment & Settling in Early Childhood - Incorporating Units & 10023

8. Sample from settling policy
Sessions 7 & 8
Sample from settling policy
Visit as often as possible before your child is expected to attend. At these visits get to know your child's teachers and key caregiver.
If possible, stay during the first stages of transition until your child is settled into an activity or happy with a teacher or peer.
Continued next slide
Attachment & Settling in Early Childhood - Incorporating Units & 10023

9. Sample from settling policy
Sessions 7 & 8
Sample from settling policy
Children are welcome to bring any special toys or cuddlies that might help them to settle.
Parents are encouraged to say good-bye once and then leave, as frequent coming and going is unsettling for children.
Attachment & Settling in Early Childhood - Incorporating Units & 10023