1. Resiliency Stress management through greater self-awareness
By Amy Weitzel 1 1

2. Resiliency
The ability to recover quickly from difficulties ... and come back even stronger.
Know who you are
Know how to have difficult conversations
Stress management
DEFINED

3. Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Self-Awareness Social styles
Self-Regulation Social styles
ABCs of CBT
Stress management
Empathy Social styles
Crucial Conversations
Stress management
Social Skills Social styles
Crucial Conversations

4. Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Motivation

5. RESILIENCY
My story
Low EQ
Relationships
My personality profile

7. RESILIENCY Some more naturally resilient Resiliency can be learned
Resiliency needs to be practiced

8. SOCIAL STYLES Four areas There is one category which is dominant
Driver
Expressive
Amiable
Analytical
SOCIAL STYLES

9. SOCIAL STYLES Driver Works independently Confident, competitive
Decisive, quick decisions
Likes to take charge
Often interrupts
Likes a challenge
Likes to be busy
Business-like appearance
SOCIAL STYLES

10. SOCIAL STYLES Expressive Animated and energetic
Spontaneous, fun-loving, risk-takers
Relies on intuition
Initiates action
Expressive, outgoing
Appearance is stylish
Motivated by excellence, goals, causes
Interrupts, can appear loud
SOCIAL STYLES

11. SOCIAL STYLES Amiable Priority on close relationships
Harmonizers, friendly, patient, listens, calms
Genuinely concerned about others
Casual in appearance
Sensitive to others‘ feelings
SOCIAL STYLES

12. SOCIAL STYLES Analyzer Likes facts, data, details
Organized and systematic
Perfectionistic, precise, thorough
Formal in appearance
Prefers logic, reason
Doesn‘t like change
Needs to be right
Prefers structure
SOCIAL STYLES

13. SOCIAL STYLES
Driver
Expressive
Amiable
Analyzer

15. COMMUNICATION Putting it to practice
Choose a partner of a different social style
Tell each other your social style
Pick one person to go first
After you‘re give the scenario, the first peson will give directions using the social style of the other person

16. COMMUNICATION Driver Rapid pace, limited emotion Focus on results
Be brief, respect time
Expect Drivers to be blunt
Don‘t offer assurances you can‘t deliver
Don‘t challenge them
COMMUNICATION

17. COMMUNICATION Expressive Rapid pace, friendly, upbeat
Talkative, strays off topic
Make them the center of attention
Don‘t be too businesslike
Don‘t talk down to them
Don‘t give them the details
COMMUNICATION

18. COMMUNICATION Amiable Slow pace, warm, caring Break the ice first
Slow, methodical, calm
Give them time to think
Listen attentively
Don‘t force a quick response
Don‘t interrupt
COMMUNICATION

19. COMMUNICATION Analytical Moderate pace, formal, businesslike
Expect them to want a lot of information
Respond logically, not emotionally
Avoid being too personal or informal
Don‘t get too close/touch
COMMUNICATION

20. Communication and resiliency
There has never been a better time for people in business to reconnect through meaningful communication to what matters most to them and to each other for the greater good.
-- Miti Ampoma

21. Crucial Conversation Creating OUR VALUES Dialogue MOTIVE TAKE ACTION
SMART ART
MOTIVE
TAKE ACTION
CREATE SAFETY
Creating
Dialogue
OUR VALUES
LISTENING
TAKE CHARGE OF EMOTIONS
STATE

22. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
High stakes, opinions vary, emotions run strong *
GOAL: Create dialogue
Stay focused on what you really want - motive
Winning
Being right
Avoiding
Caving in
Create safety
Silence or violence

23. SILENCE Any act to purposefully withhold information from dialogue.
Masking: understating or selectively showing our true opinions.
Sarcasm
Sugarcoating
Couching
Avoiding: completely steering away from sensitive subjects.
Withdrawing: pulling out of a conversation altogether.

24. VIOLENCE
Any verbal strategy that attempts to convince, control or compel others to your point of view.
Controlling: coercing others to your way of thinking.
Cutting others off
Overstating your facts
Speaking in absolutes
Changing the subject
Using directive questions to control
Labeling: putting a label on people or ideas so we can dismiss them.
Attacking: moving from winning the conversation to making someone suffer.

25. CREATING SAFETY
Mutual purpose: You care about their best interest and goals.
Mutual respect: You care about them as a person.

26. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
High stakes, opinions vary, emotions run strong
GOAL: Create dialogue
3. Take charge of emotions – The ABCs of CBT
A = Activating event – what happens
B = Belief – what we think
C = Consequence – how do we feel/what do we do
A = Notice event – what are your „triggers“
B = Change your negative thoughts
C = Learn skills such as meditation or deep breathing; identify patterns

27. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
High stakes, opinions vary, emotions run strong
GOAL: Create dialogue
4. Enter dialogue with STATE
Share your facts
Return to the facts
Example: Missed deadlines
You have missed four deadlines in the past 2 months.
One missed deadline cost the department several hundred dollars.

28. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
High stakes, opinions vary, emotions run strong
GOAL: Create dialogue
4. Enter dialogue with STATE
Tell your story
Others in the department count on you to hit your deadlines so they can work on theirs. When you miss your deadline it causes added stress in the department.

29. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
High stakes, opinions vary, emotions run strong
GOAL: Create dialogue
4. Enter dialogue with STATE
Ask for others‘ stories
- Ask for their story and listen!

30. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
High stakes, opinions vary, emotions run strong
GOAL: Create dialogue
4. Enter dialogue with STATE
Talk tentatively
Confident but with humility
Goal is to be in dialogue (not shove it down their throats)
Be willing to change your opinion

31. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
High stakes, opinions vary, emotions run strong
GOAL: Create dialogue
4. Enter dialogue with STATE
Encourage testing
- Making it safe for others to express their views
Maybe I‘m seeing things wrong.
Could we talk about this?

32. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
High stakes, opinions vary, emotions run strong
GOAL: Create dialogue
4. Enter dialogue with STATE
State the facts
Tell your story
Ask for others‘ stories
Talk tenatively
Encourage testing

33. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
High stakes, opinions vary, emotions run strong
GOAL: Create dialogue
5. Explore others‘ paths
Listen
Be sincere
Be curious
Be patient

34. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
High stakes, opinions vary, emotions run strong
GOAL: Create dialogue
6. Take action
Who?
Does what?
By when?
Follow up?

35. Crucial Conversation Creating OUR VALUES Dialogue MOTIVE TAKE ACTION
SMART ART
MOTIVE
TAKE ACTION
CREATE SAFETY
Creating
Dialogue
OUR VALUES
LISTENING
TAKE CHARGE OF EMOTIONS
STATE

36. RESILIENCY Creating resiliency in relationships through:
Playing to your strengths
Understanding your challenges
Knowing others‘ social styles
Communicating so others understand
Having a formula for a crucial conversation

37. REFERENCES
American Psychological Association
Instead of Work-Life Balance, Try to Achieve Work-Life Integration,
ABC model of Cognitive Behavior, therapy.html
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan R., & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial Conversations. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Tracom,

38. Questions

39. REFERENCES
American Psychological Association
Instead of Work-Life Balance, Try to Achieve Work-Life Integration,
ABC model of Cognitive Behavior, therapy.html
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan R., & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial Conversations. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Tracom,