1. Adding Description and Complexity to Sentences.
Building Sentences
Adding Description and Complexity to Sentences.

2. Using Appositives?
Appositve literally means to put one thing beside another.
In writing, an appositive is a word or group of words which explains the original in more detail.
Appositive words and phrases can be used to expand your description of a noun, an adjective, an action, and even an entire phrase.

3. Some Examples
After the funeral, after the flowers and eulogies, we returned to our lives.
I wanted to return to that place, the tiny fishing village in Mexico.
You were the one who took risks, who swam naked in the river, who laughed when the cops came.
The angels are beautiful, luminous and full of longing.
The seagulls follow the boat, hover over the white wake.

4. Why Use Appositives?
They help you add more information and complexity to your sentences without sounding awkward.
They can help you to vary the structure of your sentences and create a sense or rhythm in your writing.
They can allow you to add rhetorically effective repetitions into the structure of your sentences.

5. How Do I Add an Appositive?
First, decide which part of the sentence you want to make more specific.
Remember, you can also use more than one appositive in a sentence.
My mother stood in the kitchen, a room full of light and air.
My mother, a strict and exacting woman, stood in the kitchen.
My mother, a strict and exacting woman, stood in the kitchen, a room full of light and air.

6. You can either put the appositive phrase right after the part of the sentence it describes or at the end of the sentence.
My mother, a strict and exacting woman, stood in the kitchen.
My mother stood in the kitchen, a strict and exacting woman.

7. Finally, be sure to use commas to set off the appositive phrase.
If it is in the middle of the sentence, you will need a comma before and after the phrase.
If it is at the end of the sentence, you will only need a comma before the phrase.

8. Verbals Another type of phrase similar to an appositive is a verbal.
A verbal is a phrase that uses the “ing” form of a verb to describe how someone is doing an action.
My mother sings in the kitchen, swaying back and forth, humming the parts she’s forgotten, belting out the words she still remembers.
The implied subject of these “ing” verbs is “my mother”

9. Combining to Show Connections
Once you’ve stripped down your sentences to their most concise and straightforward form, you may find that you have a lot of short sentences.
Problem: too many short sentences in a row may make your writing seem choppy and unconnected.
Try combining sentences in a way that shows their relationship to each other.

10. Example of a Choppy Paragraph
I chose to write about “What You Pawn I Will Redeem.” It demonstrates how difficult it is for different cultural groups to communicate with each other. The story is difficult to read. This complexity conveys the narrator’s difficulty in communicating with his audience. Alexie’s narrator, Jackson Jackson, continually demonstrates that he cannot trust his audience because they are white. This paragraph has some good ideas in it, but some of the ideas seem disconnected because the sentences are all short and lack transitions.

11. Combining Sentences
I chose to write about “What You Pawn I Will Redeem.” It demonstrates how difficult it is for different cultural groups to communicate with each other.
I chose to write about “What You Pawn I Will Redeem” because it demonstrates how difficult it is for different cultural groups to communicate with each other.

12. What are Subordinate Clauses?
A combination of words that does not form a complete sentence and makes the reader want more information.
Here are some examples of words that start a subordinate clause: after, although, as, because, before, even if, even though, if, in order to, once, provided that, rather than, since, so that, though, unless, until, when, whenever, where, whereas, wherever, whether, while
Notice that a lot of these words are also transition words.

13. Revision Using a Subordinate Clause
The story is difficult to read. This complexity conveys the narrator’s difficulty in communicating with his audience.
Although the story is difficult to read, this complexity conveys the narrator’s difficulty in communicating with his audience.

14. Punctuating Subordinate Clauses
When you use a subordinate clause before your main sentence, use a comma.
Although the story is difficult to read, this complexity conveys the narrator’s difficulty in communicating with his audience.
When you use a subordinate clause after your main sentence, no comma is required.
I chose to write about “What You Pawn I Will Redeem” because it demonstrates how difficult it is for different cultural groups to communicate with each other.

15. Revised Paragraph
I chose to write about “What You Pawn I Will Redeem” because it demonstrates how difficult it is for different cultural groups to communicate with each other. Although the story is difficult to read, this complexity conveys the narrator’s difficulty in communicating with his audience. Alexie’s narrator, Jackson Jackson, continually demonstrates that he cannot trust his audience because they are white. With only a few changes, this paragraph runs more smoothly and shows relationships more clearly.

16. Resources Consulted
“The Subordinate Clause” se.htm
Addonizio, Kim and Dorianne Laux. The Poet’s Companion: A Guide to the Pleasure of Writing Poetry. New York: Norton, 1997.