1. Understanding and Working with the Feelings Underlying
Protective Urges:
Understanding and Working
with the Feelings Underlying
Parent-Caregiver Relations
Betty Blaize
Developed by Betty Blaize. © 2016, WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care.
This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

2. Arrive Early for
Mingle with your
classmates and learn
more about
each other!

3. DVD Clip
Protective Urges Working with the Feelings of Parents and Caregivers DVD
Clip: Introduction and Key Concepts
Clip: Working with Parents’ Feelings
The Parent’s Need for Understanding
The Parent’s Concern for
Competence

4. DVD Clip
Talking Points for Protective Urges Video Clips for Group Discussion DVD
• Clip #1: Why Parents Sometimes Treat Their Children Badly and The Effect This Behavior Can Have on Caregivers

5. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.
What Parents Want
from Caregivers
Research has shown that parents feel
reassured when caregivers exhibit three
critical qualities:
Understanding
Competency
Honesty
Source: National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010, WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care.
This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

6. DVD Clip
Protective Urges Working with the Feelings of Parents and Caregivers
• Clip: Working with Caregivers’ Feelings

7. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.
Step 1
Explore
Your
Feelings
Uncover your own deep feelings, rather than focus on the behavior of others.
Be accepting of your feelings.
Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010, WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care.
This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

8. DVD Clip
Talking Points for Protective Urges Video Clips for Group Discussion
• Clip #6: Caregiver Discusses Her Reaction to Issues of Neglect

9. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.
Step 2
Check Out
Your
Feelings with
Others
Talk about your feelings with colleagues or your program manager to get more clarity about them.
Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010, WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care.
This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

10. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.
Step 3
Seek the
Parent's
Point of View
Create a relaxed setting to listen and learn about the parent’s perspective. At this time, don’t try to resolve any issues
Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010, WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care.
This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

11. Active Listening Reading Body Language Using Door Openers
Listening to Family Members
Active Listening
Reading Body Language
Using Door Openers
Restating What You Hear
Respecting Confidentiality
Door Openers
I’d be interested in hearing your opinion. Will you share with me?
Let me make sure I understand
I’ve notice that
Be Careful Not To Say
Let me help you...
This is the problem...
Let me tell you what you need to do
The Active Listener
Refrains from evaluating speakers words
Places herself in speaker’s position
Suspends own thought and feelings
Gives full attention to speaker
Does not interrupt
Tries to get a deeper understanding of the other person
Is perceptive to what is not being said
Sources: PITC A Guide to Creating Partnerships with Families (2nd Edition) pg.56 and The Art of Managing People, Phillip L. Hunsaker & Anthony J. Alessandra. Simon & Schuster, Inc. 1986
Adapted by Carol Aghayan and Betty Blaize. © WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care.
This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

12. This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.
Step 4
Develop an Action Plan
Whether your action plan involves just yourself or you need to do more, plan the steps you’ll take toward a resolution:
Addressing your own issues
Interacting with the parent
Finding outside help
Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010, WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care.
This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.

13. Step 4 Addressing Your Own Issues Get Support Handle Your Stress
Develop an Action Plan Cont.
Addressing Your Own Issues
Get Support
Handle Your Stress
Set Boundaries
Interacting with the Parent
Reflect on the Relationship
Decide on the Content
Plan the Interaction
Finding Outside Help
Contact a resource and referral agency
Seek programmatic help
Identify specific services
Developed by Betty Blaize, Deborah Greenwald, and Alicia Tuesta. © 2010, WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care.
This document may be reproduced for educational purposes.