1. Resilience Lite: Strategies for Staying Emotionally Healthy

2. EMILY JAMES Floor Layer, Master of Patience, Graduate Student
Office of Research & Graduate Studies

3. VALUES EXERCISE

4. PART I: Asking

5. PART I: Asking – How do I spend my time?
Think and write down the ways that you spend your time. Be specific and as as exhaustive as possible.
Once you’ve made this list, re-order based on how much time you allocate to each task/person.
Consider how these could be grouped into broader categories:
Work, Career Development, Spiritual Development, Personal Development, Relationships, Community, Creativity, Health, etc.
Have to do, Want to do
Place a plus or minus next to each task based on whether or not you like it.
Think and write down all the ways that you spend your time. Be as specific and extensive as possible.
- Instead of just writing down the general areas in which you spend your time, break out the specific tasks you contribute to each area

6. PART I: Asking – How do I spend my time?
List of how I spend my time
Self care A.
Sangha B.
Meditation C.
Exercise D.
Outdoor Time E.
Cooking and eating good meals F.
Sleeping G.
Morning poem 1.
Project Management and Communication 2.
Graduate School 3.
Relationships and Community 4.
Self care 5.
Basic Necessities
Think and write down all the ways that you spend your time. Be as specific and extensive as possible.
- Instead of just writing down the general areas in which you spend your time, break out the specific tasks you contribute to each area

7. PART I: Asking – How do I spend my time?
List ordered by the amount of time and resources given to each task or relationship:
Here’s a few examples:
Add two types of ”tags” to each item: 1.
A general categorization of what each task or relationship accomplishes A.
Graduate School [Educational, CHOOSE TO, +]
Write Braided Essay [Educational, HAVE TO, (+)]
Don’t get enough sleep [Educational, CHOOSE TO, (-)]
Professional development
Personal development
Educational
Spiritual/Religious
Service
Support yourself
Creative outlet B.
Basic needs [HAVE TO, +]
Cooking and meal planning [Supports myself, HAVE TO, (+)]
Re-order based on the amount of time and resources given to each task or relationship.
As you do this, add two ”tags” to each item:
1. A general categorization of what this task accomplishes [Professional Development, Personal Development, Educational, Service, Support Yourself, Creative Outlet]
2. Designate if it’s something that you HAVE to do or that you CHOOSE to do, putting a plus or minus next to if you like it or not
- There are things that we have to do that we like and things that we choose to do that we don’t like. 2.
Designate if each task is something you HAVE to do or that you CHOOSE to do
Place a plus or minus next to each item based on if you like it or not

8. PART II: Contemplating

9. PART II: Contemplating – How does that make me feel?
Drawing from the areas in which you spend your time, ask the following three questions.
Question 1: What am I doing/How am I spending my time that makes me happy, brings me joy, feels easy or true to self?
What am I doing/How am I spending my time that leaves me frustrated, sad, tired, or feeling inauthentic?
Time constraints, obligations, and life stressors aside, what would my ideal life look like?
As you think about these experiences, think about WHY you feel the way you do. Does this feeling come from an internal or external influence?

10. PART II: Contemplating – How does that make me feel?
What am I doing ...
How am I spending my time ...
Who am I spending my time with ...
That brings a feeling of happiness, joy, ease and/or authenticity?
What am I doing ...
How am I spending my time ...
Who am I spending my time with ...
That brings feelings of frustration, angst, tiredness and/or inauthenticity?
Obligations aside ...
Time constraints aside ...
Resource limitations aside ...
What does the ideal life look like?
Drawing from this list of areas that you spend your time, ask yourself three questions:
1. What am I doing / How am I spending my time / Who am I spending my time with that makes me HAPPY?
2. What am I doing / How am I spending my time / Who am I spending my time with that makes me SAD?
3. Obligations, time constraints, resource limitations aside, what does the IDEAL life look like?

11. PART II: Contemplating – How does that make me feel?
Milking cows a few times a month up at Rockhill.
I’m consistently stressed out by yard work.
One of my bucket list jobs is to work at Thomas Moser’s, a Shaker furniture company in Maine.
Allows me to engage in a simple, tangible, physical work; keeps me connected to people and a place that is nourishing to me; asks me to slow down.
As you write out these scenarios, consider WHY you are happy, sad or this is your ideal. Ask if something INTERNAL or EXTERNAL is influencing this feeling.
Continued growth and change feels like a metaphor for life; it’s actually something I enjoy and I feel discouraged that I don’t have time for it; I’m afraid my neighbors judge me.
Creative; slow and mindful work; company sets time aside for employees to work on their own projects; mastery and craft

12. PART III: Identifying

13. PART III: Identifying– What do I value?
Pick values on the list that resonate with you.
Don’t over think it. Your instincts are spot on.
Feel free to add words that are not on the list if they better fit what you value.

14. PART III: Identifying – What do I value?
Accountability
Accuracy
Ambition
Authenticity
Authority
Autonomy
Balance
Belonging
Boundaries
Carefulness
Challenge
Clear mindedness
Community
Compassion
Competitiveness
Consistency
Cooperation
Creativity
Curiosity
Decisiveness
Diligence
Discipline
Diversity
Economy
Effectiveness
Efficiency
Empathy
Enjoyment
Enthusiasm
Environmental Stewardship
Excellence
Excitement
Fairness
Faith
Family
Fitness
Friendship
Fun
Generosity
Growth
Happiness
Health
Humility
Improvement
Insightfulness
Intelligence
Joy
Leadership
Love
Loyalty
Mastery
Merit
Obedience
Openness
Optimism
Order
Patience
Peace
Perfection
Positivity
Poise
Preparedness
Quality
Recognition
Respect
Restrain
Rigor
Security
Self-control
Sensitivity
Service
Simplicity
Soundness
Speed
Spirituality
Strategic
Strength
Support
Thankfulness
Thoroughness
Thoughtfulness
Timeliness
Understanding
Uniqueness
Unity
Vision
Wisdom
Wholeness
Using how you spend your time, what makes you happy and sad and the reasons WHY, select 25ish values from the provided list. Feel free to add your own, if these words don’t capture what you value.

15. PART III: Identifying – What do I value?
Accountability
Accuracy
Ambition
Authenticity
Authority
Autonomy
Balance
Belonging
Boundaries
Carefulness
Challenge
Clear mindedness
Community
Compassion
Competitiveness
Consistency
Cooperation
Creativity
Curiosity
Decisiveness
Diligence
Discipline
Diversity
Economy
Effectiveness
Efficiency
Empathy
Enjoyment
Enthusiasm
Environmental Stewardship
Excellence
Excitement
Fairness
Faith
Family
Fitness
Friendship
Fun
Generosity
Growth
Happiness
Health
Humility
Improvement
Insightfulness
Intelligence
Joy
Leadership
Love
Loyalty
Mastery
Merit
Obedience
Openness
Optimism
Order
Patience
Peace
Perfection
Positivity
Poise
Preparedness
Quality
Recognition
Respect
Restrain
Rigor
Security
Self-control
Sensitivity
Service
Simplicity
Soundness
Speed
Spirituality
Strategic
Strength
Support
Thankfulness
Thoroughness
Thoughtfulness
Timeliness
Understanding
Uniqueness
Unity
Vision
Wisdom
Wholeness

16. PART IV: Defining

17. PART IV: Defining– How do my values look?
From this list, group like values together.
Once your values are grouped, try to identify a single broad word that encompasses these values. Be picky about the denotative and connotative meanings of the word. These are likely your core values.
Taking a step back, write definitions for how you’d like these values to manifest in your life. Your definitions may end up incorporating many of the original values that you listed.

18. PART III: Defining – How do my values look?
HEALTH
COMPASSION/CARE
Balance
Boundaries
Authenticity
Health
Spirituality
Community
Joy
Wholeness
Environmental Stewardship
Compassion
Humility
Friendship
Empathy
Sensitivity
Poise
Peace
Authenticity
Patience
Balance
Peace
Boundaries
Poise
Carefulness
Quality
Community
Recognition
Compassion
Sensitivity
Creativity
Simplicity
Empathy
Spirituality
Excellence
Thoughtfulness
Friendship
Wholeness
Gratitude
Wisdom
Health
Environmental stewardship
Humility
Joy
Mastery
AWARENESS
CRAFT
Take the list of values that you selected and group them into categories.
Once you have that values grouped, think about a word or phrase that captures this group of values.
Consider both the denotative and connotative meanings of the words. The words you select should feel like you.
Recognition
Thoughtfulness
Wisdom
Carefulness
Creativity
Excellence
Quality
Simplicity
Patience
Mastery

19. PART IV: Defining – How do my values look?
HEALTH
COMPASSION/CARE
HEALTH
COMPASSION/CARE
Balance
Boundaries
Authenticity
Health
Spirituality
Community
Joy
Wholeness
Environmental Stewardship
Compassion
Humility
Friendship
Empathy
Sensitivity
Poise
Peace
Health at its root derives from wholeness. To be maintained as a value asks for a a balance of physical, emotional and spiritual wellness. It is a communal endeavor that accepts individual’s authenticity and acknowledges boundaries and limits.
Compassion and care are qualities that advocate for the welfare of fellow creatures and places, acknowledging our common suffering. By responding to others with sensitivity, empathy and humility, friendship, peace and health are fostered.
AWARENESS
CRAFT
AWARENESS
CRAFT
Recognition
Thoughtfulness
Wisdom
Carefulness
1. Once you have your core values labeled, create your own definitions of these values.
2. As you do this, try to articulate how these values are enacted in your life.
3. The values that you grouped together will likely manifest in the definitions of your core values.
Creativity
Excellence
Quality
Simplicity
Patience
Mastery
Awareness is a learned way of being that allows for the understanding of the causes and conditions surrounding an experience. This creates the ability to recognize people’s efforts and stories and supports thoughtful, careful action that leads to wisdom.
Craft asks for a skillfulness and attention to what is created. By its nature, craft leads to quality and simplicity. The commitment to mastery is supported by patience.

20. PART V: Reflecting

21. PART V: Reflecting– How well do my values align with my time?
Look back at Parts I & II, where you wrote down how you spend your time.
How well are your values reflected in how you spend your time?
What changes can you make in what you do or how you do it to better reflect your personal values?