Verbal Defense & Influence Basic Manual

Verbal Defense & Influence Basic Manual
Complete Program Welcome to the Verbal Defense and Influence basic course. My name is _________ I will be your primary instructor for the day. Joining us today will be _________. Prior to starting the course, let’s take care of some housekeeping. Please turn off all electronic devices Restrooms are located_______________ Breaks will be provided throughout the session, please use this time to make phone calls and answer s and texts. We want this to be a positive learning experience with limited interruptions. To successfully complete this course you must attend at least 90% of the class lecture and complete all required video assignments.

Goals of the Course Improve Communication Enhance Professionalism
Recognize tools to promote personal safety Decrease Complaints Decrease Vicarious Liability Increase Morale Read slide The Vistelar Group 2

Dr. George Thompson, the English professor-turned-street-cop who ultimately taught one million professionals the art of verbally redirecting negative behavior, passed away June 7 at his home in Auburn, New York. He was 69. Dr. Thompson, known as “Doc” to the legions of professionals trained in his methodology of Verbal Judo, developed his tactics by witnessing seasoned law enforcement professionals — whom he affectionately called “salty old dogs” — talk down violence and generate voluntary cooperation in real-time crisis situations. Through his Verbal Judo Institute and, recently, under its new brand of Verbal Defense & Influence, Dr. Thompson led a legion of global trainers who taught these tactics to law enforcement within police forces large and small. The Verbal Judo Institute was founded by Dr. George Thompson. Dr. Thompson’s philosophy and learning format will be used to enhance this course. In Memorial

© Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group
Introduction Verbal Defense & Influence is a way for you to learn and use of Tactical Communication skills. Situations have a potential for getting out of hand in all environments. Knowing how to “redirect a person’s behavior with words” is staff’s most important weapon for keeping everyone safe. Verbal judo is a way for your to learn and use tactical communication skills. What does tactical mean? Tactical can simply be defined as having a planned response. Being prepared is the key to effectively handling difficult situations as well as every day encounters. Situations have a potential for getting out of hand in all environments….. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

How the Class will be Taught
Explanation Demonstration Repetition Simulation This class is taught by lecture, class demonstration, repeating important information, and practicing using video technology so that you may see yourself as others see you. Any questions so far? © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

To leave people feeling better… than they were feeling at their worst
Goal To leave people feeling better… than they were feeling at their worst The goal of verbal defense and influence is to leave the other person feeling better after their encounter with you. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Why We Train There is a reason for “Fire Drills” and not “Fire Talks”
© Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

According to Dr. George Thompson of the Verbal Judo
5 Universal Truths According to Dr. George Thompson of the Verbal Judo Institute, instead of focusing on how people are different, we should focus on how people are the same. Read slide- exhibit proficiency in remembering these. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

5 Universal Truths Let’s repeat these together- 1……
Think about the last time you were irritated during a conversation- were the 5 universal truths used during that encounter? I would venture to say “no”. It is easy to see how these 5 universal truths can be used in everyday communication- at the bank, grocery store, speaking with your significant other.

© Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc
Five Maxims/UTs © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

Motivation! “We treat people like ladies and gentlemen, not necessarily because they are, but because we are.” North Dakota Highway Patrol Here is an example of how other disciplines define standards of behavior. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Habit of Mind “mushin” Mushin means no mind or non biased. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

“mu / shin” NO MIND Dis / interest = Non Bias You are not disinterested in the person or situation but you are moved into a professional state of mind in which this is about the situation and not you or the other party as a person. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Mushin Definition-Professional Detachment
Game face- detach yourself from the situation. Remain professional despite the personal feelings you have towards the individual or their actions. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Showtime is a term used to mentally prepare
staff (tactical mind set) for the task at hand. It reminds staff to use only their professional face and, to use words that will generate voluntary compliance. To set the tone- take a deep breath and state “Show Time”. Put on your professional face and use the tactics you have been provided to guide you towards compliance. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

GVC 3.0 The Goal for Professional Intervention is to obtain
Generate voluntary Compliance, Cooperation, and Collaboration Our goal to this planned tactical communication is to generate compliance, cooperation, and ultimately collaboration. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistlear Group

Universal Greeting Appropriate greeting (with name, if known) Identify yourself / affiliation (if appropriate) Explain reason for contact Ask relevant question (beyond active listening) Persuasion sequence Closure (review/report) Purpose of “Universal Greeting” create a reasonable doubt that you are not a jerk Let’s take a two minutes to write down your universal greeting then we will practice to a partner. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Encounter © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

Communication Under Pressure
Five Maxims (Showtime mindset) Universal greeting (be alert & decisive respond, don’t react) Ask questions (beyond active listening) Assist/Answer questions (persuasion) (conflict---redirect/deflect/escalate) Closure (report, debrief, document) © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

Initial Encounter © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

Universal Greeting Good Morning, I am … (Title/Name) from the … (List your department or job). You looked lost may I help you find something? (beyond active listening) Assist/Answer (persuasion sequence) Closure (Thank you, apologize, report) Universal greetings are used to provide a consistent method of introducing yourself to those whom you are communicating. This sets the stage for tactical communication. Demonstrate a universal greeting- using this scripting. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Let’s Practice Split into teams Video tape your greeting

The Opposite of Talking
Communication The Opposite of Talking Should Be Listening, But for Most People It Is Waiting… Waiting To Interrupt!. How true is this? Listening is essential to becoming a good communicator and one of the most important tactical tools you can develop and use. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Listening Components Words Tone of Voice Facial Expressions Body Language Context of the Situation Distance / Positioning Listening isn’t just about THE WORDS, but it is about the tone and presentation in which it is being delivered. What is the situation surrounding the conversation- is it celebration, aggravation, or just chit chat? Distance or positioning is also important- be mindful of personal space. Everyone has a defined parameter that is unique to them. Different cultures have different “personal space” limits and we should be mindful when communicating to respect this as well. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Beyond Active Listening L.E.A.P.S.
Empathize Ask Paraphrase Summarize The acronym will help guide you through this concept. How many are familiar with this? Lets say them together. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistlear Group

L.E.A.P.S. Listen Open & Unbiased Hear Literally Interpret Accurately Act Appropriately Read the slide- Remember listening is NOT waiting to interrupt……WE must show interest in order for the individual to feel important. Some times people just want to be heard. After they have expressed their feelings of concern or aggravation the situation at hand has been solved. Listening can not be stressed enough in importance with all communication. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group 26

L.E.A.P.S. Empathize To See Through The Others Eyes Construct A Verbal Means To Relate To The Subject You Do Not Have To Agree… Simply Understand The Others Perspective. Try to understand and see things how that person sees their situation. This doesn’t mean that you agree with them but in fact that you empathize with their situation. Using statements such as “really?”, “wow, I can not believe that” are useful with providing empathy during this concept phase. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group 27

Empathize-Stages of Grief
Realize the stages of grief effect all parties involved Realize the different stages elicit different response in individuals Everyone grieves differently and over different things in life………. ***May find a better copy to link to this slide Video 2 minutes

What stage are we encountering?

L.E.A.P. Ask (Five Types of Questions) Fact Finding General Direct Leading Opinion Seeking Asking is a great way to show the person they are important. An example might be “in your opinion what would you have expected done differently”. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group 30

“Let Me Be Sure That I Understand
L.E.A.P.S. Paraphrase “Let Me Be Sure That I Understand What You Just Said.” Paraphrasing is the art of restating what YOU HEARD to ensure that you are both on the same page. HIS Meaning Dressed In Your Words, So That You Can BOTH Understand It. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group 31

Clear Communication © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

L.E.A.P.S. Summarize Creates Decisiveness & Authority Reconnects Communication When Temporarily Interrupted. Checks on Understanding Improves Memory Retention Read the slide © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group 33

LEAPS Example © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

You Must Be Skillful With All Three.
Three Kinds of People You Must Be Skillful With All Three. There are three types of people that you may encounter- nice, difficult, and the sneaky. The nice person complies with the initial request. The difficult person will comply some where around the 3rd or 4th time asked. The sneaky person looks like a nice person but the key to compliance is cloudy. NICE DIFFICULT SNEAKY 35

Difficult People A Difficult Person will always tell you no,
the first time you ask them to do something, but somewhere around the second, third, or fourth time, when handled properly, 9 out of 10 will comply Read the slide © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Key Points Explain that this a rule/policy
Explain what the rule/policy says and why it exists Ask if they understand the rule/policy?

Non-escalation vs. De-escalation Tactics
If we spent more time on non-escalation tactics, we won’t need to spend so much time on de-escalation tactics. If things never escalate then de-escalation will not be needed. Our goal is to recognize potential problems and address them in a planned tactical manner to avoid escalation and potential violence. Using the 5 UTs and treating people with dignity and respect is often all that is needed to avoid problems. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Communication MEANING WORDS HELP FEAR VIOLATED MY STUFF TIME Read the slide RESPOND To The Meaning, Never REACT To The Words. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group 39

Natural Language is Disastrous
“When you speak the words that rise readily to your lips, you create the greatest speech you’ll ever live to regret.” Dr. George Thompson, Ph.D. Our natural response can end up disastrous. This is why we need to learn and use tactical communication. We need to learn to listen to what the other person is really saying (what is the meaning) and not focus on the words coming out of their mouth. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Types of Verbal Assaults
Authority- “you are nothing to me” Profanity- “you a fat b…..” Personal Threats- “I will come back and you will be sorry!” Family Safety- “I will burn your house down” Physical Features- “why would I listen to a bald man” Age- “you are so old I bet you carry the first rib of creation” Sex / Sexuality- “Why would I listen to a hair brain woman” Skill / Competence- “what is this your first day on the job” Education- “you are dumber than a box of rocks, bet you didn’t graduate kindergarten” Economic Status- “you are so poor you can’t pay attention” Verbal assaults often occur- the key in effective communication is how we respond. Maintaining professional demeanor is sometimes difficult but is essential to be effective and gain compliance. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

How To Handle Verbal Abuse
Natural Reaction = Confrontation Vs. Studied Response = Deflection & Redirection “I appreciate that, however . . .” “I understand that, however . . .” “I hear that, however . . .” “I got that, however . . .” “I’m sorry you feel that way, however . . .”. Note: Combination Phrases Work Best Natural reaction can be seen as habit…..studied response is learned response. Using these phrases may assist in deflection of the abuse. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Anatomy of a Conversation
Content (words) = % Voice (T, P, P) = 33-40% O.N.V. (Other Non-Verbals) = 50-60% 93% = Delivery Style Everything must Harmonize When we communicate- the receiver pays attention to the delivery style 7-10% of what is being said, 33-40% is the tone of voice, and 50-60% is other non verbals such as distance, or your stance, open versus closed posture. This makes up the 93% of delivery STYLE. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Voice % How you Say It Tone = Attitude Pace = Interest Pitch = Passion Words & Voice must Harmonize © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

It’s Not What You Say, It’s HOW You Say It!
I Never Said He Stole The Money Do a couple examples of how you could say this using tone and body language. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Harmonize © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

Other Non - Verbals 50 - 60% Body Language
Proxemics: Spatial Relations Words, Voice & ONV must Harmonize Your non verbals need to match the message. You can’t invite someone in for a hug if your arms are crossed…..same perception with communication. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Proxemics Be Alert & Decisive Control of Distance (lead from behind) Personal Danger Zone (behind you) Relative Positioning (Safe exit) Multiple Subjects (Mobilize bystanders) Divide & Control (leader of the pack) Reasonable Arc Concepts (in front/sides) Remaining Alert -to safety issues Control of Distance- where is the escape? Personal Danger Zone-how close are you to being within arm distance? Relative Positioning- are they right handed or left handed? Multiple Subjects- don’t be surrounded Divide & Control- ask one to step away Reasonable Arc Concepts-be aware of arc of weakness- those areas in which you may be approached and not completely alert to Proxemics is not just about enhanced communication but also about personal safety. You must be alert to your surrounding at all times. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Proxemics—Guiding Hands

Communication Under Pressure Five Maxims
Ask Set Context-explain policy or rule Give Options Confirm Noncompliance (second chance) “Is there anything I can say…to get you to …I would like to think so.” Act – Disengage and/or Escalate The Persuation step is used when non compliance is chosen as the individual’s option. It is during this concept step that you determine whether the importance of the non-compliance deserves further action if compliance not obtained. Do not ignore policies- if compliance is necessary per policy must take action. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Top List of Don’t Use Anti Peace Phrases
Calm Down What’s your problem You people Come over here I’m not going to tell you again Because those are the rules What not to say!!!! © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

Top List of Peace Phrases
Excuse me sir may I talk with you? What can I do to help? For your safety and mine Could I ask you? Would you assist me? Can you work with me? You look like a reasonable person Scripting that indicates you are willing to work with them. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

Anti-Peace Phrases © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

fellow staff members keepers
Thinking Right Sometimes staff find themselves in the same Square Box that other people find themselves in. They are “under the influence” and out of control. They need our help, it is up to us to help our fellow staff to think right. We are our fellow staff members keepers as they are ours. Sometimes no matter how much judo is used, the situation arises in which a “tap out” exchange is needed. If you see a fellow co-worker struggling in a conversation- simply tap them out and start with the initial contact. This is not a sign of failure but rather a tactic in communication that often works. In many situations, it is almost as if the first encounter has wore the person down to near compliance, but the switch out seals the deal and helps the client save face. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Know Your Weaknesses Mr. “Wanna Bet” Name It: He Who . . . Define It:
Hot Buttons or Triggers Challenges My Authority Know what pushes you over to the unprofessional side….recognize them and have a tactical plan to deal with them. This may be the “tap out” tactic. Leave before natural disaster happens - you can not take back words once they have been said. Ask for examples of triggers or hot buttons- share stories. Own It!. The Path To Strength Is Built On Recognized Weaknesses. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Know Your Weakness © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

REspect vs Respect REspect = given simply because of title/uniform Respect = earned through time, history, professionalism, etc. Goal is to obtain respect © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc

Verbal Defense & Influence
It’s Not Enough To BE Good, You Have To LOOK Good & SOUND Good, or It’s NO Good! Never Step On One’s Personal Face! The Goal Is To Be RESPECTED! People Are Like Steel - When They Lose Their Temper They Are Useless! © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Treat everyone with Dignity & Respect

P.A.C.E. Concept Problem – your perspective / their perspective Audience – relationship / experience / your role Constraints – obstacles: ignore/step around/use Ethical Presence – professional presence projected When possible –PACE before encounter. Know the problem- both perspectives, what’s the relationship and your role, what obstacles are there to compliance, what excuses may you encounter, and are there ethical issues involved? Gather as much information prior to the encounter as possible. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Crisis Intervention Concept
Crisis Intervention Format 1 . Attempt to get person’s attention. 2 . Check on their perception of reality. 3 . Attempt to establish a rapport. 4 . Explain your perception of reality. 5 . Move towards resolution. Read the slide © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

5 Types of Deflectors Funny Word Blocks Serious Word Blocks Polite Threat Word Blocks Mobilizing the Audience Word Blocks Sudden Assault (Time Out) Word Blocks Deflectors are used to guide the conversation into a different direction often times away from assaultive wording . © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Reasons To Use Deflection Techniques
It allows you to feel and sound good Changes the focus (I understand that BUT…) It disempowers the subject It works! © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Funny Word Block Rules Quick Appropriate Not a Counter Punch Note: Must be delivered with the right face, tone, and body language with an non aggressive use of distance Be careful in using humor it may be viewed as disrespectful or disinterest. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Principles Of VDI Say What You Want, DO What I SAY unless safety is threaten. I Have The Last ACT, I GIVE You The Last Word! REspect Vs. Respect. Remember the ultimate goal is to have collaboration. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Verbal Karate vs. Verbal Judo
Unprofessional Express Personal Feelings Self-Referential Language - “I - me” Not in Contact Off-target Reactions Verbal Judo Professional Use of Words to Achieve Professional Objectives In Contact with Audience Skillful Communication That is On-Target. Judo accepts the situation and uses verbal judo skills to change the outcome. Karate is single minded with self at the center which tends to cause increase in conflict versus decrease. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

3 Things to Remember We need to stop REACTING to threats and start RESPONDING to the ongoing situation Our Response will no longer be viewed as a photograph. It is now viewed as a full length feature film. Our professional response must harmonize through verbal and non verbal communication techniques By responding in a professional manner we are avoiding the pitfalls of critics who are waiting to capture our poorly performed full length feature film. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

You are the Representative
Isn’t it true that at the point of impact, a single employee “represents” the whole organization for better or worse? What kind of representative do you want to be? Think about your everyday encounters…..can you think of one encounter in which the person you were received by changed your thoughts about the entire organization or business? If you were treated disrespecful by the hostess of a high class eating establishment -would you enjoy the meal as much? © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Traits of a Professional
High Visible Desire for Knowledge & Education to improve communication Embrace Change Demonstrate & Support the Behavior Standards of PCRMC We are all professionals regardless of job title. This is about looking professional and performing professionally.

Proper Response Requires…
That staff members: Remain Alert Be Decisive Have a preplanned, practiced response in mind (tactical communication---verbal defense) Read slide © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

There are no longer any innocent professional bystanders
Once you are a witness or exposed to a situation, you must: • Assist your fellow staff members • Fix something if it’s going wrong • Stop something that could go wrong • But no matter what, you need to write a report (Quantros) that explains what you observed. As professionals we can not just let things happen. If we remain quiet or ignore inappropriate situations then you are condoning the action and the outcome. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

I.G.Y.B. Types Protection from a sudden assault Protection from poor tactics: staff safety violations Protection from policy violation Protection from Out-Of-Control Behavior I got your back © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Persuasion Sequences Ethical Appeal- convince that it is the “right” thing to do Rationale Appeal- convince of the logic behind the request Personal Appeal- What’s in it for them? Practical Appeal- off beaten action- sometimes it’s the call of security Persuasion © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Types of Practical Appeals
Closing distance and/or use of a “show of force” by positioning additional staff members Use of “off-based” strategies to get the person’s attention in an attempt to GVC 3.0 Example of a practical approach would be calling a “code green” © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Tactical Empathy Tactical Empathy refers to
the active intelligence gathering to discover what a person is thinking in an attempt to generate voluntary compliance, cooperation, and collaboration. Tactical empathy means placing yourself in another’s position and viewing the situation through their perspective. This allows you to discover techniques that are unique to this specific situation. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Rattle Snake & Cobra Analogy
Collaboration comes with persuasion versus attack. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Types of Debriefing Immediate Team Debriefing Formal Debriefing Process Immediate debriefing is a quick 2 minute discussion with those involved in the situation. Focusing on what went well and areas of improvement. Formal debriefing may be used when after an incident occurs which produces an unpredicted outcome or interventions. Formal debriefing will be guided by CQM © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Team Debriefing Sequence
Are you OK? Wellness Check How do you think you did? What happened? Positive comment, if possible What would you do different next time? Learn from your experiences and others-share your experience Always start with checking the wellness of the team. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Putting it all together Practice
5 Universal Truths…ALWAYS Showtime Initial Encounter If there is a safety issue (proper response) Persuasion sequence When conflict is resolved…complete the initial encounter steps Closure (report, debrief, document) Always use the 5 UTs put on your professional game face, begin your practiced encounter using all your senses and skills to remain safe. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Communication Under Pressure Showtime
Universal Greeting with Name & department Ask for Identification if Unknown / Required 2. Explain Reason For The Contact (Beyond active listening L.E.A.P.S) (Conflict) (Persuasion Sequence) (Redirection Deflection Escalation) 3. Decision Stage (compliance/non-compliance) 4. Closure(debrief, report,document) Initial Contact is the act of putting it all together-the universal greeting. Initial Contact- is the universal greeting, reason for contact, asking clarification questions, giving the person time to reply and a choice if applicable, closing the encounter by thanking them or offering further assistance if needed. © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Leave people better than they were feeling at their worst
Closure Principle Leave people better than they were feeling at their worst Read the slide © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Make your own movie Take 20 minutes
Real life situation (scenarios provided) Go make your movie

We must Practice to Look Good, Sound Good and to be Good

Thank You Complete your assessment of learning quiz Complete your course evaluation Go out and “practice” your response Share your stories with us © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Keep working…only the strong survive!

References Verbal Judo: Words as a Force Option - Thompson Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion - Thompson Verbal Judo: Redirecting Behavior with Words - Thompson The Verbal Judo Way of Leadership – Thompson Art of War – Sun Tzu Blink - Gladwell Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement – Gilmartin On Killing / On Combat - Grossman Values for a New Millennium - Humphrey Zen in the Martial Arts - Hyams © Verbal Defense & Influence with the Vistelar Group

Verbal Defense & Influence Basic Manual

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