1. Dealing with Challenging People
Featuring:
Dr. Mimi Hull,
Speaker/Trainer & Workplace Psychologist
#DrMimiSpeaks
LinkedIn: Dr. Mimi Hull
Facebook: /HullAndAssociates

2. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM
Objectives
To discover the difference between best and worst Customers. To start to understand and learn how to respond to the most common challenging people ….The Volcanos, The Brick Walls, The Snipers, The Cranky Pants, The Complainers, and The Chatterboxes. To learn 5 Don’ts when working with challenging people. To have fun!
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

3. Customer
Best/Worst Customer
What are the attributes, characteristics and behaviors of a Best/Worst Customer?
How do people feel working with that Customer?
What are the results or consequences that occur?

4. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM
Remember:
You can’t change the people who are around you But You can change the people you choose to be around!
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

5. Resist the urge to “change” your Challenging Person
Our goal is to help you understand how to deal with them, not how to change them.
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

6. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM
The Volcano
Carries around a lot of anger just under the surface.
Sooner or later the volcano is going to blow, spewing hot lava all over you.
Their rage is out of proportion to what’s happening to them.
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

7. What’s Behind Their Angry Behavior?
Frustration, blame, and suspicion
Feel let down and threatened
Have built up hostility that may be unrelated to their blow-up.
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

8. Dealing With an Angry Person: (Volcano)
Listen, Listen, Listen!
Make empathizing statements
“What I hear you saying is..”
“I understand how you might feel that way.”
Ask how you can help them
Work together for a common goal
©HULL & ASSOCIATES
Hull & Associates

9. Never, Ever Say… “If you will just calm down!”
“If you will just let me talk.”
“You’re being unreasonable.”
“Exactly what is your problem?”
©HULL & ASSOCIATES
Hull & Associates

10. The Brick Wall/The Traditionalist
Unchanging, unwilling to bend
“We’ve always done it this way”
Not receptive to new ideas that challenge the current way of thinking
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

11. What’s Behind Their Behavior?
Scared of change
“If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it”
Stubborn
Like things the way they are
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

12. How to deal with Brick Walls:
Skillfully prepare your case
Explain the plan fully and professionally
Emphasize similarities
Think benefits
Start small
Publicize success
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

13. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM
Snipers
These people are experts in pot shots and sneak attacks, such as:
Humorous put downs
Sarcasm
Disapproving looks
Innuendos
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

14. How to Deal with Snipers
Respond to the sniper with a question.
“What are you trying to tell me?”
A sniper will usually respond with denial or volley the responsibility to you.
“I’m only joking.”
“Can’t you take a joke?”
Speaking up lessens the chance of similar attacks in the future.
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

15. Cranky Pants (Also known as Negative Nellie or Debbie Downer!)
Dampen enthusiasm.
Say “NO!” first.
Shoot down any new ideas.
Bring down morale.
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

16. What’s Behind Their Cranky Behavior?
They feel stuck.
Unhappiness may be unrelated to work.
Think they are “realists.”
Use it to get their way!
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

17. How to deal with Cranky Pants:
Keep your conversations related to the current situation.
Agree with facts but don’t fuel the flame.
Limit the time you spend around them.
Speak about positive things when with them.
“What’s going well?”
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

18. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM
The Complainer
Constantly complains.
May point out real problems.
Blames everyone else for what’s going wrong.
Doesn’t hold themselves accountable for their own choices and actions.
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

19. What’s Behind a Complainer’s Behavior?
They are not looking for solutions!
Have a strong sense of how others ought to behave.
They feel “perfect.”
Self validating!!!
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

20. How to deal with Complainers:
Listen attentively, acknowledge what they are saying.
Don’t agree or apologize.
Ask them for solutions.
Be optimistic.
“Look at all that is going well.”
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

21. ©HULL & ASSOCIATES WWW.HULLONLINE.COM
The Chatterbox
Don’t know how to be succinct.
Love to hear themselves talk.
Don’t let you get a word in the conversation.
Think very highly of themselves.
Interrupt often!
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

22. What’s Behind Their Behavior?
They generally mean well.
They think their ideas are valuable to others.
Enjoy being the center of attention.
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

23. How to deal with a Chatterbox:
Bring them back to the subject.
Stand up when you talk with them.
If you enjoy their company, set aside time to chat with them.
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

24. Don’t #1 Don’t take the challenging person’s behavior personally.
They behave that way with most people.
It’s not about you!
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

25. Don’t #2 Don’t rationalize their behavior.
Other people have similar experiences and are not challenging.
You lose control when you make excuses for challenging people.
They are what they are!
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

26. Don’t #3 Don’t fight fire with fire.
Don’t try to beat them at their own game.
They have been practicing for a long time.
You’re a novice by comparison.
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

27. Don’t #4 Don’t try to change them. You can’t change them.
You can only change your response to their behavior.
By changing your responses, they may change…or they may not.
However, you will feel better.
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

28. Don’t #5 Don’t let challenging people reserve a space in your head…
Raise their rate and kick them out!
©HULL & ASSOCIATES

29. Thanks…and Keep in Touch!
Dr. Mimi Hull
HULL & ASSOCIATES
LinkedIn: Dr. Mimi Hull
Facebook: /HullAndAssociates
©HULL & ASSOCIATES