1. Active Listening
Dr. Miriam Guttman

2. Active Listening
“The average person remembers only about 25% of what he or she hears, and some people remember as little as 10 %. The problem is that while hearing is incredibly easy, listening takes a real effort” (Amberg, Jay . The Study Skills Handbook: Learning to Listen. P 59).

3. What is Active Listening
It is the foundation of effective communication

4. Where do we begin? Be an active listener
People speak at words per minute
People can listen intelligently to wpm
Our minds drift off
We think about other things

5. Listen with a Purpose Gain information Obtain directions
Understand others
Solve problems
Share interest
See how another person feels
Show support

6. S.O.L.E.R. Squarely Open Lean Eye Relax Face the person Your posture
Towards the sender
Eye
Contact maintained
Relax
While attending

7. Nonverbal Communication
Use facial expressions
Smiles
Gestures
Eye contact
Posture

8. Ask Yourself What is the speaker’s thinking message
What is the person’s basic feeling message

9. Purpose of Clarifying Untangle vague or wrong listener interpretation
Get more information

10. Purpose of Clarifying Help the speaker see other points of view
Identify what was said
i.e. I’m confused, let me try to state what I think you were trying to say
You have said so much, let me se if I’ve got it all

11. Perception Checking Give and receive feedback
Check out your assumptions

12. Exercise
Draw a short vertical line to represent a mama bull, a papa bull, and a baby bull.
What are the correct solutions?

13. Discussion Is a mama bull possible?
If you drew 3 lines, why is the papa the longest etc.?

14. Summarizing
Give a sense of movement and accomplishment in the exchange
Establish a basis for further discussion
Pull together major ideas, factors, and feelings

15. Primary Empathy Reflection of content and feelings
Show that you're understanding the speaker’s experience

16. Primary Empathy
Allow the speaker to evaluate his/her feelings after hearing them expressed by someone else
You feel … because…

17. Advanced Empathy Reflection of content and feeling at a deeper level
Try and get an understanding of what may be deeper feelings
I get the sense that you are really angry about what was said, but I am wondering if you also feel a little hurt by it.
You said that you feel more confident about contacting employers, but I wonder if you also still feel a little scared

18. Avoid Repeating phrases like “you feel that…” or “You’re saying that…”
Under-reaching
Repeatedly missing the feelings that the other person conveys or saying comments that understate those feelings
Long-windedness
Giving long or complex reasons

19. Avoid Pretending to understand Overreaching
If you get lost, say “I’m sorry but I missed what you said. Could you repeat it?”
Overreaching
Going far beyond what the other person expressed
i.e. stating interpretations that the other considers to be exaggerated or otherwise inaccurate

20. Avoid
Distractions
Seat yourself appropriately close to the speaker
Windows, talkative neighbor, noise
Allowing your prejudices and or opinions to get in the way of what the speaker has to say