1. PBSES Positive Behavior Social Emotional Support
Concrete Strategies for Building Student Relationships
PBSES Positive Behavior Social Emotional Support

2. Mari Stevens – Issaquah Middle School
Introductions
Mari Stevens – Issaquah Middle School
Share:
Position
Why you’re here
What you hope to gain

3. Proximity + Communication
TRUST
Proximity + Communication

4. IMPORTANT
INCLUDED

5. Frontload for Success
Build in strategies to establish, maintain, and restore relationships with students into classroom practices and routines
Know your “go to” strategies
Proximity + Communication = Trust
Build classroom community
The payoff will come!

6. Phases of Relationships
ESTABILISH
MAINTAIN
RESTORE

7. Establish Goal for student to feel connected, safe, and respected
Engage in intentional practices to build connection

8. Establish Strategies Purposeful greetings at the door
Teach every expectation and procedure
Student Profile (student and parent filled out)
How to organize – make it user friendly!
Intentionally spend time with students individually
“Kid Questions”
Proximity + communication
Reference individual information
Teachers take time to implement one or more of the following practices with the intention of having individual time with each student

9. Maintain You know, trust, and respect each other
Intentionally maintain relationship
Learn and use maintenance practices

10. Strategies to Maintain
Class meetings
Greetings at the door
Teacher mailbox or relationship journals
5:1 ratio of other positive interactions to corrections
Relationship check-ins
student is encouraged to share about their lives or personal thoughts, to support the student’s sense of respect and connectedness
eetings

11. Restore A conflict/correction has occurred that feels yucky
Re-establish the positive relationship through restorative communication techniques
Once a month (put it on your calendar!) quickly reflect on your relationship with students – EMR Form

12. Strategies to Restore Taking ownership Apologizing
“As your teacher I realize I could have handled the situation better, it’s actually my fault.”
Apologizing
“I’m sorry we both had a rough day yesterday and for not being able to support you better class”
Conflict, reprimands, or other negative interactions are nearly impossible to avoid. However, teachers follow up each negative interaction with efforts to restore the relationship through specific communication techniques

13. Strategies to Restore Asking for a do-over Conveying care
“I know things got a little rough between us, but here’s what I say. Let’s have a do-over and just try again today”
Conveying care
“I just wanted to let you know that although your behavior was a bit difficult to deal with, I care deeply about having you in my class and think you are a pretty special student”

14. Listen – Allow the student to share their perspective. Just listen.
Six Step Communication Process Connect with the downstairs (emotional)  brain before redirecting to the upstairs (logical, problem solving) brain
Listen – Allow the student to share their perspective.  Just listen.
Reassure the person that his/her perspective is important.  Examples:
“It sounds like you got really frustrated when you didn’t know what to write.” 
“I can tell that your feelings were hurt when Penny didn’t listen to you when you were working on the project.”
Validate his/her emotional state
Steps 2 and 3 are easy to skip over, but are quick and essential.  When students feel heard and understood, they are much more inclined to engage in a problem solving conversation.
This is part of a six-step communication process that is helpful in times of stress, emotion, or crisis. 
Source: Fostering Resilient Learners

15. “How do we keep this from happening again?”
Six Step Communication Process Redirect to the problem solving brain once the student is calm
Respond - Explain your perspective of the behavior through your lens
Repair – Give a heartfelt apology for whatever role you may have played in the miscommunication or strife. Even if you don’t believe you were in the wrong, an earnest apology can go a long way in building trust. 
Resolve – Find alternative ways of acting to prevent future disruptions of the same type. 
“How do we keep this from happening again?”
Important: Do steps 4-6 once you and the student are calm.  It may mean that you wait until later in the day or even the following day.
Source: Fostering Resilient Learners

16. Fostering Student/Student Relationships
Games to help students know names of classmates
Model/coach manners
Class Meetings

17. Practices and routines for the year
Time to Plan
First two weeks
Practices and routines for the year
Important Work