1. Sentence Level Revisions
Oh, and 2.2 Workshop 1/2

2. Essay Check  Thesis  Organizational Sentence (if you need one)
 Topic Sentence 1
 Topic Sentence 2
Topic Sentence 3
Counterargument
integrated into paragraphs,
placed at the end, or
placed at the beginning

3. ✔ Thesis
Does the thesis clearly identify the position of the argument?
Is the thesis arguable?
Would anyone argue against you?
Is the thesis focused on a narrow topic?

4. ✔ Organizational Sentence/Introduction
 A statement telling the reader what major points you are going to cover
Do your topic sentences CLEARLY relate to your organizational statement and/or the thesis?
Are they built off of it?
Do you set a clear structure for your paper?
Do you set a clear scope (focus) for your paper?
Do you follow the order of the topics you set up?

5. ✔ Topic Sentences 1-3 Each topic is a mini thesis
Each paragraph is a mini essay
Contains
Opening
Main idea
Support
Closing
ASK: does each sentence in the paragraph directly support this topic sentence? The thesis?

6. Body Sentences…
All of the information in each sentence needs to be relevant
Cut fluff
Check that all your sentences answer the question “so what?”

7. Body Sentences…
Find your pronouns: “it,” “they, “these,” “them”; can you fill that space with a better word or phrase?
Make stronger sentences by removing “to be” verbs
Still stuck? Try removing as many articles (a, an, the) as possible (and reasonable)

8. Sentence Level Revision
5 R’s {
Restructure sentences or p.graph
Reword concepts
Reorder sentences or comp’s
Remove sentences and fluff
Readdress thesis/topic

9. Try this! You have 10-15 minutes Make sure you have a thesis that is
Arguable
Strong
Clear
Focused
Take a paragraph, at least 6-8 sentences, and revise it using 3-5 of the 5 R’s
You have minutes

10. Now Trade! 5-10 minutes Evaluate their thesis:
Is the thesis arguable? (would anyone disagree or argue against them?)
Is the thesis strong?
Is the thesis clear?
Is the thesis focused?
Look at their revision compared to their original:
What R’s did they use?
Is the revision stronger?
Why? Why not?
Would you change anything?
Give their revision a grade:
A: no change required
B: some change required
C: much change required
5-10 minutes

11. BA8
Revise a substantial body paragraph from 2.1 (at least 6-8 sentences)
Write a short summary and evaluation of your revisions.
Explain the revisions you have made and their impact on the
audience,
purpose, and
meaning of your draft as a whole.
No length requirement, but make sure you have at least 6-8 sentences to revise

12. BA8 Deliverables DUE TuesDAY Apr 19TH = Before Wednesday
Statement of thesis
Original paragraph
Revised paragraph
Summary of Revisions
DUE TuesDAY Apr 19TH
= Before Wednesday

13. Helpful Readings
Chapter 42 in the E-handbook