1. Helping Clients Move Beyond Grief
Amanda Lambros
BHSc, PGDipEthics, DipProfCouns., MAForensicSexol.
Executive Director &
Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®
Grief Recovery Method Pty Ltd.

2. Overview The origin of Grief Recovery Method Types of Loss
Incorrect Information (the myths)
Grief…by different names
STERBs – Short Term Feeling Relief Behaviours
Nothing wrong with you – acknowledge the grief
Hopes, dreams and expectations – S.E.S.

3. My biggest loss is/was ______________________
LEAVE BLANK FOR NOW
My definition of loss is

4. GRM Questionnaire Who here works with loss?
Take 5 minutes and complete the questionnaire
Ever experienced any loss?
Do you have clients who have experienced loss?

5. Origins of Grief Recovery Method®
Single most off limits topic of conversation?
Death? Feelings? Peoples reactions to grief!
The story of John James
35 years ago
My story – Finding GRM, John & Brian, my brother

6. Types of Loss 40+ reasons for grief Death of a loved one
Death of a less than loved one
Accidents
Moving
Relationships – the start and the end
Financial
Loss of trust…in God…in parents….in partners…others
Relationships – the start and the end
Financial
Loss of trust…in God…in parents….in partners…others?
40+ reasons for grief
40+ reasons for grief

7. Why Clients Come To You…
Hearts are broken
Nothing else has worked
Not sure what else to do
Someone else told them to come see you
They thought it was ‘time’ or ‘long enough’
They ALL have :
Incomplete emotional communication that sustains unresolved grief

8. The 6 Myths Don’t feel bad Replace the loss Grieve alone
Grief just takes time…‘time heals’
Be strong for others
Keep busy

9. My biggest loss is/was ______________________
What MYTHS were you told/Did you experience?
My definition of loss is
LEAVE BLANK FOR NOW

10. The Name Game
Burn-out
Pressure
Stress
Free Floating Anxiety (FFA)

11. Signs of Grieving Out of the moment Drains you of energy
Closes your heart
“Protect” ourselves by not loving again
Limits our loving exposure thereby ‘dooming’ the new relationship to fail – Moving On Book
Hide true feelings for fear of being judged
Isolation

12. Short-Term Emotional Relieving Behaviours
STERBs
Short-Term Emotional Relieving Behaviours
Eating
Alcohol/Drugs
Shopping
Sex
Cleaning
Academia/Studying
Sleeping
Isolation

13. Health Effects Violence Addiction Obesity Suicide Ulcers
High Blood Pressure
Cancer
Others?

14. Nancy’s Video

15. Nothing is wrong with you
Grief is a normal and natural response to loss.
It IS NOT abnormal or unnatural at any level
Typical effects of grief
Staring off into space, glazed look in their eyes
Tears running down their face, accidents

16. Academy Award® Recovery
“I’m Fine”
Pain, isolation, loneliness?

17. Definition of Grief
Grief is like reaching out for someone who has always been there, only to find when I need her one more time, she is no longer there

18. Significant Emotional Statements
Hopes
Dreams
Expectations

19. Categories…where are you?
“Want to want to” – think about it
“To want to want” – talk about it
“Making a change”

20. Happy or Right? Grief Recovery is not easy Right or Happy?
Alternative option: living a limited life!
Right or Happy?

21. Grief is Everywhere 146 932* total cases of death in Australia in 2011
1,140* total infant deaths in Australia in 2011
According to the ABS Survey of Income & Housing, 43% of the Australian population has moved in the last 5 years
46% have moved once, 19% moved twice, 17% three times, 8% four times, & 11% five or more times
Carrying a bag of rocks around
Maintenance and moving beyond loss
*Australian Bureau of Statistics [ABS] (2011). Death, Selected summary statistics – 2011, Canberra, ACT: Author

22. Language is HUGE How to begin talking to someone about loss?
What do you not want to say/hear?
Use one of the Grief Recovery Cards to start conversation

23. When Children Grieve
For adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving, and other losses
Based on PhD of Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews
6- week program
Use of ‘When Children Grieve’ handbook

24. Tips for Helping Children
Listen with your heart, not your head – no criticism, analysis or judgment
Recognise that grief is emotional, not intellectual
Adults – Go first
Remember that every child is unique and each has a unique relationship to the loss
Be patient
Never say “Don’t feel sad” or “Don’t feel scared” – Sadness and fear, the two most common feelings attached to loss of any kind, are essential to being human.

25. John & Russell Video

26. Not a Support Group ACTION GROUPS!
Grief Recovery Method Outreach Groups are
ACTION GROUPS!
Addresses incomplete communications
Creates long-term benefits by completing the pain and the unfinished emotions

27. Certification Training
Not required to be a trained mental health professional – Training available to everyone/anyone
4-day re-education, experiential training program across Australia
All books, materials and homework provided
Recognised ongoing professional development
A one-off inclusive fee for training

28. Certification Training
Absolute Confidentiality, small group work
The certified Grief Recovery Specialist can then:
Provide 7 or 12-week outreach Grief Recovery Groups
7-session one-on-one Individual Grief Recovery
6-week When Children Grieve Groups
You price the program, keep all the takings – no kick- back fee – 100% your profits

29. Final Thoughts
Most productive workshop and training being offered anywhere on people’s reaction to loss